A Road Built in Hope
by blueseacowboy
Summary: Harry's friends discover hope can be a hard thing to hold on to.
1. Chapter 1

A Road Built in Hope

Chapter one

Admiral Harriman Nelson sat alone in the Observation Nose of his submarine _Seaview_, absently stroking the side of his head deep in thought as he stared out the huge windows in front of him. The mission they'd just finished, a collaboration with the Scripps Institute and the University of Alaska, had been an easy one: study the canyons of the Bering Sea and its sea life. The cruise had gone well and the discovery of an unknown skate nursery had been the highlight. Usually a species with low reproductive rates, in some cases taking three or more years to hatch, the information of the location of the nursery was an important find for conservationists. _Seaview_ and her crew had performed as he expected on the cruise: perfectly.

"Well, that was a pretty smooth mission," Lee Crane, captain of the submarine said with a big smile on his face as he entered the Observation Nose and seated himself in a chair beside Nelson, diverting his attention from his musings slightly.

"Yes, yes it was," Nelson said distractedly as his eyes never left the view before him.

"What's that tone mean?" Lee asked with a laugh. "You don't like cruises that don't have any problems? No monsters? No aliens or…"

"Oh, yes I like them just fine! I've just been sitting here going over in my mind some of the findings we've made on this cruise," Nelson said with a big smile. "There's enough data to keep me busy for awhile."

"So why aren't you down in your lab going over some of the results? Not that I'm not glad you're taking a little downtime for yourself. You don't spend enough time relaxing."

Nelson waved a dismissive hand in Lee's direction. "Downtime…who needs downtime?" he asked with a lopsided smile on his face. "It's overrated."

"You mean to tell me the thought of sitting around doing nothing is unpleasant to you?"

"Not exactly unpleasant. Just…all right…unpleasant is a good word," he said laughing as he glanced over at Lee, astounded once more at the easy camaraderie he had developed with the young man by his side. "There's just too much to do to sit around…relaxing."

"And yet, here you are," Lee said, enjoying the light banter he was having with the man he considered his best friend. The two had a friendship Lee couldn't remember ever having with anyone else, and that included Chip Morton. Although Chip was closer to him in age, their conversations were…different than what he always had with Nelson and it still surprised him the depth of feeling he had for the man beside him, more like a brother than a friend.

"Well, all this _relaxing_ is getting nothing done," Nelson said as he rose from his seat and stretched. "Think I _will_ head down to the lab and start looking over some of the…"

What he was about to say was interrupted by an urgent voice on the intercom. "Admiral? It's Chief Sharkey. I'm in the Circuitry Room, sir. Do you think you could come down here? We've got problems."

"What kind of problems, Chief?" Nelson asked as he grabbed a nearby microphone, worried at the slight tremble in the chief's voice.

"I…I found something in the circuits. It…it looks like a bomb, sir."

"I'll be right there," Nelson said harshly after a quick second to control the sudden rush of adrenaline that shot through him and began to head from the room. Stopping quickly by the plotting table, he leaned towards his executive officer. "Chip, how much water are we in?"

"Fifteen thousand feet keel to bottom," he said quickly, already having obtained the answer as soon as he'd heard the call from Sharkey.

"Damn! Plot a new course now!" Nelson yelled as he headed out the hatch. "Find the shallowest water and head there at flank! Find us a plateau to drop down on if you can!"

With that, Nelson, followed by Crane, raced out of the Control Room as Chip ordered the course changes quickly.

~O~

Running rapidly down the corridors, Nelson's heart raced as scenarios and possibilities passed swiftly through his mind as he tried to anticipate what he would find waiting for him. After what seemed an eternity, he entered the Circuitry Room on a run and stopped short when he saw Chief Sharkey and Seaman Kowalski standing with grim faces inside the room. Sharkey merely pointed a shaking finger to the rather large device embedded in the circuits. Walking slowly to the panels, Nelson gasped as he saw wires going off in all directions from a large box planted squarely in the middle of the main panels with a countdown already at twenty-five minutes.

Sensing Lee had followed him, he said without turning, "Lee, find me some tools."

Going to a nearby locker, Lee pulled instruments from it and brought them to Nelson who laid them at his feet.

"I want everyone out of here. Now! Clear this corridor and get the crew as far away from here as possible. You too, Lee!" Nelson said without looking at him as he began to trace the wires, his mind racing.

"Admiral, I should stay. I can help you!"

"Lee, I don't have time to argue. I need you alive to take care of _Seaview_ and her crew if this goes wrong! Go! I need to think and I can't do that with you here!"

Lee hesitated for a moment as fear filled him for Nelson and the boat. Finally he acknowledged Nelson's order and headed for the door. Stopping, he pulled a mic from its cradle, turned it on to transmit and walked back to Nelson, passing it through the straps on top of his shirt and draping it over his shoulder. "So we can hear you if you need anything," he said briefly as he clasped him quickly on the shoulder. He headed for the door and started to leave the room but stopped and looked back at Nelson, wondering briefly if it would be the last time he saw him alive.

As if he could sense Crane's thoughts, Nelson turned and stared at him for a moment before nodding briefly. Lee smiled weakly, then left, closing the door behind him.

Relieved to be alone, Nelson continued to trace the wires through the circuitry, attempting to figure out how to defuse the bomb. "I think I recognize this type of bomb. I've seen a device much like this one before but it's been awhile. Same layout though," Nelson said quietly as he began to work at separating the wires and figuring out how to defuse the complicated device. "I need to cut the wires in a certain sequence or she'll blow. Then I need to isolate the explosive from the trigger. Just need to remember…"

An eternity seemed to pass before Nelson sighed. "I've got the sequence. I'm disconnecting the wires one by one. Say a prayer I'm right," he said softly.

Time passed as if in slow motion as the crew waited for Nelson to finish defusing the bomb, their hearts in their throats as they knew they were all in danger.

"All right. Wires cut. I'm isolating the explosive now," he said in a hushed voice.

Time seemed to stop as silence came from the Circuitry Room, then they heard Nelson sigh heavily. "I…I think that's got it," he said breathlessly. "Countdown has stopped. I'm removing the bomb now."

Nelson ran a shaking hand over his eyes and knelt by the device, pondering who could have planted it and why.

Shortly after that, Nelson heard the door being opened and felt Lee kneel by his side, gazing at him in concern.

"You all right?" he asked as he took in Nelson's pale features.

Nelson nodded briefly. "I am now. This was too close."

"Yes, it was," Lee said as he stared at the countdown that was stopped at three minutes. "Who would do this?"

"I don't know. Find out who was on duty in here and question them. Connecting this took time. Find out if anyone was seen coming or going from here," Nelson said, his eyes never leaving the device before him. "This bomb would have taken out all our major systems and in all likelihood we would have endured a slow death from asphyxiation if we weren't crushed to death first when we dropped below crush depth. We would have been dead, literally, on the bottom of the sea."

"Never to be seen again," Lee whispered.

"It looks as though there's enough explosive here to damage us pretty badly," Nelson said as he rose with the device in his hands. "I need to get this to my lab where I have the tools to remove the explosive from the device to render it completely safe. Make sure there's no chance…" Nelson stopped speaking and started in fear as he heard the unmistakable sound of ticking resume and saw the numbers begin to click downward again.

"No…God no," he said in anguish.

"Admiral…what is it?"

"There's a secondary trigger," he said in fear as he watched the seconds begin to count down again. "Set to go off shortly after the device is removed is my guess. Damn it! I didn't think of that! I need to try to get it off the boat now, there's no time to try to defuse it again!"

Going over quickly in his mind all the possible places he could eject, flush or simply drop the device overboard, he formulated a last ditch plan, hoping he had time. "Clear the Missile Room and all the corridors leading to it. Now!" he yelled as he quickly headed out of the room with the bomb in his hands, hearing Lee broadcast his orders to the ship.

As Nelson ran through the passageways, he cursed his laxity as he knew he had messed up. He should have known a device as complicated and sophisticated as this one would have a back-up plan. If he could get it to the Missile Room, he could eject the bomb out through the diving chamber, or at the least contain the explosion in it, and they may just escape with minimal damage. If he could reach it in time.

He got to the Missile Room quickly, relieved to find it empty and headed for the dive chamber, placed the bomb carefully inside, closed and dogged the hatch and began to fill the chamber with water, intending to expel the bomb out the chamber.

And it might have worked with just a little more time, he thought briefly as he heard the explosion rip the chamber apart and felt himself flung backwards as the dive chamber door exploded outward hitting him and knocking him into a rack of dive equipment. _"So close. I'm sorry,"_ he thought as pain exploded in his head and chest and darkness claimed him.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter two

Lee Crane, a few seconds behind Nelson, stopped in his tracks as he heard the explosion come from the Missile Room and felt the submarine shudder. Grief filled him as knew without a doubt that Admiral Nelson, his friend and mentor, was dead. How could he not be dead? His legs shaking, he raced into the room and saw water pouring from the remains of the dive chamber, spreading rapidly across the floor.

"Damage Control to the Missile Room! Sick Bay to the Missile Room! Mr. Morton, take us up! Surface the boat now!" he called quickly into a nearby mic as he stepped farther into the room, his eyes searching frantically for Nelson.

"Skipper!" he heard Kowalski behind him yell. "Is the admiral…?"

"Where is he, Ski? Can you see him?" Lee yelled, his heart pounding in fear.

Kowalski searched frantically then yelled, "There he is! Under the dive chamber door!" he said as he pointed to a pile of rubble in the center of the room. Crane's heart sank when he spotted an arm poking out from under the remains of the hatch. Running to him, the two men pulled the door off him. Lee reached a hand out to Nelson's neck, praying hard he felt a pulse, his heart stopping when he couldn't find it. "No…no, Admiral. Please." And then faintly he felt a slight, weak pulse beneath his fingers and he stared in amazement at Nelson, then groaned aloud as he saw the left side of his head was a mass of blood.

"Skipper. Is he…?" Kowalski whispered in shock as he saw the blood pouring down the admiral's head and saw his pale features.

"He's alive, Ski. Just," he said as his focus remained on Nelson, unmindful of the crewmen pouring into the room to effect repairs to the damaged submarine.

"Captain, let me in there," he heard Will Jamieson, _Seaview's_ doctor call and he scooted backward to let the medical team get to Nelson. He watched as the Chief Medical Officer checked the admiral, his tight lips telling Crane the news wasn't good.

"Mike, get him hooked up to the heart monitor. Danny, get him on oxygen and keep tracking his vitals," Jamieson said to the corpsmen that had accompanied him as he continued to access Nelson's condition. "Eyes unequal. Pupil on the left side blown. Reflexes sluggish. Damn it! There's bleeding in his ears. Danny, what are his vitals?"

"Respiration is…12! Pulse is 40 and dropping. BP is…Doc! I've lost his pulse!" Corpsman Danny Watkins shouted as the heart monitor Mike had just attached to Nelson began to wail.

"Damn it!" Jamieson swore. "Charge the defibrillator! Danny, get me 1 milligram of epinephrine!" he yelled as he started chest compressions. "Monitor his breathing. Keep a check on his oxygenation levels!"

"Defibrillator charged and ready, Doc!" Danny called.

"Clear!" Jamieson yelled as he took the paddles and placed them to Nelson's chest, flinching slightly as the admiral's body jerked as the electricity flowed through him.

Lee watched the scene as if he were in a dream; knowing Doc was doing all he could to save the life of Admiral Nelson. All around him he heard the crew repairing the damage to the dive chamber, not really noticing he knelt in ice cold sea water. He couldn't die. Admiral Nelson could not die. It wasn't something Lee considered to be a possibility. He'd never had the chance to tell him how much his friendship had meant to him over the years and now the thought he might never get the chance ever again filled him with despair. In anguish he watched the life and death struggle before him and felt his hope begin to slip away when Nelson didn't respond, the hope replaced by a dark emptiness as the minutes ticked by. He shook his head slightly as if to ward off the thought of the admiral dying…of his being dead… and clenched his jaw. No. He wouldn't allow the briefest spark of hope he had be blown out: Nelson would live. He had to. The thought of his friend, his mentor, no longer being there, no longer being alive was too hard to contemplate.

The life and death struggle continued on as Jamieson fought to bring his commanding officer and friend back from death. All around him, a hushed silence from the work crews filled the air and he risked a quick look at the men that a few moments ago had been boisterously working on saving the boat. Standing in drenched clothing, the men stood side by side staring in anxiety at the scene that was playing out before them. He locked eyes for a second with Kowalski who stood by the remains of the dive chamber, water no longer pouring into the compartment, and grimaced at the fear on the young man's face. Nelson couldn't die. He had to make sure that didn't happen.

Turning back to his patient, he increased his efforts to save the man before him.

Finally, the crew let out a breath they didn't know they had been holding when after what seemed an eternity they heard Jamieson say softly, "He's back," And heard the heart monitor begin to beep again as if to attest to his words.

Lee felt relief flow through him when he heard the words but was reluctant to believe. "He…he's alive?"

"Barely. He's hurt badly, Captain. I need to get him to Sick Bay," Jamieson said brusquely as he gestured for the corpsmen to load the still, bloody body onto the stretcher.

"Doc?" Lee said. "Will he…?"

"I don't know, Skipper. He's hurt badly as I said. I need to go. Stay away from Sick Bay until I say you can come down. I don't need you down there getting in the way. My focus has to be on him and only him right now."

Seeing the stricken look in Crane's eyes, he softened his tone. "Don't give up hope. I'll do all I can. You know he's a fighter. Remember that. Hold on to that," he said as he clasped Crane on the shoulder as he left quickly to follow the stretcher out the door.

Crane watched as Nelson was carried from the room; his heart aching and dread forming a pool in his stomach as he pondered his friend's fate.

"Lee? How bad is it?"

He turned to see Chip Morton beside him, his face carefully bland.

"I…I don't know. He was barely alive when I got here then Jamie came in and he…he died."

"What?" Chip yelled as shock marred his face.

"His heart stopped, Chip. But…Doc got him back. I just don't know…I don't know if he's going to be all right."

"What happened?"

"It looks like he put the bomb in the dive chamber, trying to confine the blast or expel the bomb and the hatch blew back into him when it went off."

"Wow. Doc will do everything he can, Lee. You know he's good at what he does. And the admiral…"

"…is a fighter. Yeah I know, Chip. It's just…there was so much blood. And when I first got to him, I couldn't find a pulse. I…" he stopped what he was about to say and straightened. He couldn't let the men see his concern, his fear for Nelson. He had to hope that…no…he had to _believe_ he was going to be all right.

"We need to figure out who did this," Crane said angrily, his jaw clenched tight. "Who was on duty in the Circuitry Room?"

"Seaman Bowers. We uh…we found his body in the Circuitry Room, Lee. It looks like someone hit him pretty hard on the back of his head. He's dead."

"Then we have no idea who may have planted the bomb. That's great. We can't worry about that right now. We need to get _Seaview_ stabilized. Let's get to work getting this boat back to normal," he said resolutely as he headed off to supervise the work crews, praying Nelson would live and they would find the person responsible.

~O~

Several long hours passed as the _Seaview's_ crew repaired the damage done by the bomb and as they awaited word on Admiral Nelson's condition.

After what seemed an eternity, Crane heard Jamieson call him down to the Sick Bay. Fearing what he would find, Crane ran from the Control Room, his heart pounding.

Opening the door, he entered the softly lit room, searching for Nelson. His gaze landed on the form lying silent and still on a gurney in the center of the room, Jamieson hovering over him. Beeping from the heart monitor attested to the fact Nelson still lived. As if he knew Crane was there, the doctor peeked over his shoulder then stepped back, giving the captain a better view of his friend. Crane's eyes went from Jamieson's tired face to Nelson and stared in shock as he saw the tube snaking from the admiral's mouth and heard the unmistakable hiss of oxygen being forced into his lungs.

"A…a respirator, Jamie?" he asked in horror as he walked to Nelson's side, staring down at the body of Admiral Nelson, bandages wrapped about his chest, his left arm encased in plaster and a large bandage covering the left side of his bruised face.

"I'm afraid so," Jamieson said sadly. "We lost him again shortly after we got him here. His heart restarted but…he's not able to breathe on his own right now."

"How…how bad is it?"

"His condition is critical. He has a pretty bad head injury and some broken ribs to go along with it. His left arm is broken, too as you can see. It looks as though he may have tried to protect himself by flinging his arm up. The head injury may have been worse if he hadn't."

"How bad is the head injury?" Crane asked.

"His skull is fractured I'm afraid. The gash on his head needed a few stitches to close. That was the source of all the blood by the way," he said looking down at Nelson for a moment. "There were two points of impact. The point in front on the left temporal lobe is where in all likelihood the chamber door smashed into his head. But there's another point in the back where the force of the blast must have thrown him into the racks of dive equipment. It's the frontal injury that is the most concerning."

"That's where the fracture is?" Lee asked, his eyes never leaving Nelson's still form, watching him as the machine breathed for him.

"Yes it is. There's some evidence of bleeding on the brain which we're trying to control right now. How much damage may have been done by the blast and by the bleeding…I just don't know right now."

"Damage? As in brain damage?" he asked in anxiety, his eyes shooting up to Jamieson who refused to meet his gaze.

"I'm afraid so. He's slipped into a coma and isn't responding to any stimulus. There's no response to pain or verbal commands at all. We…I…I just don't know if it's permanent or not," he finished softly, his fear palpable.

"Jamie! I…I can't believe…" Crane stopped what he was about to say as he turned his gaze back to Nelson who lay so unnaturally still.

"It's a miracle he's still alive, Lee," Jamieson said, deliberately using his name not his rank. "He's hanging on by a thread right now. I…I don't know what else I can do for him."

"What do you mean? Jamie, you're the best there is! What do you mean you don't know?"

"I mean I'm not a neurologist. I have training in it yes but I'm not a specialist and that's what he needs right now. If I do the wrong thing, make the wrong choice…I may cost him his life. Or worse," he finished softly.

"Worse? What would be worse than his dying?"

Jamie was silent for a long time and fear filled Crane as he watched Jamie struggle to answer. "He may be in what we call a persistent vegetative state, Lee. That, for him, would be worse," he said quietly, his voice breaking slightly.

Lee stared in horror at the CMO of _Seaview_, not wanting to believe the words he had heard. Admiral Harriman Nelson, creator of the submarine _Seaview_, founder of the Nelson Institute of Marine Research, four-star admiral, architect of more inventions than he could remember and his best friend in a vegetative state? His heart dropped as he pondered the ramifications. No! He just couldn't be virtually brain dead! It was too unfair, too horrible to even contemplate and he turned away from the body lying seemingly dead before him and struggled to control the emotions that welled up inside him.

"Lee, I said it was a possibility. Not a certainty. He's hurt badly right now. Once his brain has begun to heal, the bleeding stopped, we'll know more."

"What do we do in the meantime for him?" Lee asked turning back around after he had regained his composure.

"We have to keep monitoring the pressure that's building inside his head right now and hope it begins to subside soon. Beyond that, I…I don't know," he said quietly, his eyes never leaving his patient. "How far away from Santa Barbara are we? Or any port with a good hospital?"

"We're about two days from Santa Barbara. We have to run on the surface right now. The hole that bomb caused blew the top off the dive chamber. We've repaired the damage as best we can but we won't be able to dive. And we need to pray we run into no storms."

Crane watched as Jamieson stared at Nelson, his lips clenched tight. "He needs specialized treatment, Lee. I can't do anything for him here."

"What about the Flying Sub? She can make Santa Barbara quickly!"

"Yes, yes she could. I just…"

"What? Jamie what is it?"

"It's dangerous to fly him back on FS-1. Same if we did a sea rescue. A helicopter would take longer than FS-1 also. There's too great a chance of his head being jostled in flight. Plus, the altitude could be dangerous. I…I just don't know what to do."

Crane stared at Jamieson in shock for a time. He'd never known Jamie to be so uncertain. "Jamie," he said reaching a hand out to clasp his shoulder. "What is it? I've never know you to be so uncertain. As a matter of fact, you haven't seemed yourself this whole trip. What is it?"

Jamieson's face clouded over and his features became like stone. "Nothing is the matter, Captain. I don't know what you're talking about. I haven't been any different on this cruise than any other."

"All right, take it easy. What do we do for him?" he asked as he turned his gaze back to his friend, so unnaturally still.

"Let…let me consult with one of the neurologist's, Dr. Bradley, back at the Institute Medical Bay. Maybe…maybe we can keep him here with us. I hate the thought of him in the air right now with that skull fracture. I'll…I'll be right back," he said, sighing deeply as he headed for his office, pausing when he got to it and turning back. "Stay with him, Lee. Talk to him? See if you can get a response, any response at all from him."

As if there was any way he was leaving Nelson right now. "Admiral, it's Lee. I'm here. You're in Sick Bay. You've been hurt pretty badly but Doc…he's going to help you," he said as he leaned over the still body, hoping he was telling the comatose man the truth.

"_Seaview's_ all right. You saved the ship. The bomb did some damage in the Missile Room but, we're all right. It could have been so much worse. We're running on the surface as fast as we can back home. You need to fight, sir. Come back to us. Don't give up. Please."

Crane stared down at Nelson and watched, waited and prayed for some slight sign that Nelson heard him but saw nothing, heard nothing except for the beep of the monitor and the wheeze of the ventilator. He reached down and grabbed Nelson's hand in his and squeezed. "I'm squeezing your hand, Admiral. Can you feel it? Squeeze it back if you can," he said. The brief flicker of hope he had fled as defeat, fear and dread filled him when there was no response. What if this was all they had? What if Nelson never got back to what he had been? What would that mean for him? For _Seaview_? For the Institute? Or for the world? He shook his head and felt panic begin to rise in him as he pondered a life without the man that lay before him: a dark, empty life.

~O~

How long Crane stood by the admiral, staring, hoping, and praying for any sign he heard him he didn't know. Suddenly he was aware of a presence behind him and he turned watching as Jamie slowly walked to the admiral's side and stared down at him.

"Well?" Lee asked quietly.

Jamieson started as if he had forgotten he wasn't alone.

"Oh, Jon - Dr. Bradley - thinks it's better to keep him here on board rather than subject him to flying. I asked him if he could meet us out here. I'd feel better if someone with an expertise in head injuries was here. Could you have someone fly back to the Institute and pick him up?"

"Of course, if you think that's best."

"I do. I'm…I would just feel better right now having an expert here."

Lee stared hard at Jamieson, trying to remember the last time he'd heard such defeat, such uncertainty in his voice, and couldn't. "I'll set it up now," Lee said quietly as he leaned over Nelson. "I have to go, Admiral. But I'll be back. Just keep fighting to come back to us." Rising, he cast a quick glance back at Nelson and Jamieson before heading quickly out the door.

Jamie heard Crane's voice telling him he was setting up the flight and heard his whispered words to Nelson but he made no motion to show he had. He lowered his head and squeezed his eyes closed as he pondered his indecision regarding Admiral Nelson's care and condition. He just couldn't think right now. Too much was going on in his mind and he seemed at a loss as to how to care for the man before him. Deep down inside he knew that right now he was very capable of making a mistake that Nelson - all of them - would pay for if he let that happen.

~O~

Crane walked quickly to the Control Room, his emotions tamped down as he tried to put the admiral's condition from his mind. Entering, he walked quickly to Sparks in the radio shack and had him contact Dr. Bradley at the Institute Med Bay.

"Chip? Have the Flying Sub made ready for launch," he said as he saw Morton walk to him, questions in his eyes.

"Kowalski! Ready the Flying Sub. Make sure she's ready for launch. Chief Sharkey, help him out," Chip called.

"Aye sir," Sharkey answered as he walked to the FS-1 hatch.

"What's going on, Lee? Is the admiral being flown back to a hospital?" Morton asked in a hushed voice.

Crane motioned Chip away from the crewmen standing nearby at their duty stations. "No, he's staying here. Doc said his condition is too critical to fly anywhere right now but he needs expert care. Both he and Dr. Bradley back at the Institute think it's too dangerous for him to fly."

"Then why the Flying Sub?"

"Doc wants this Dr. Bradley to fly out here and take care of the admiral. Jamie feels he needs a neurologist to take care of him."

"It's that bad?" Morton asked, his eyes hooded and his face a mask.

For a long time Crane was silent as he fought to control the emotions welling up in him. "He…Jamie said the admiral's skull is fractured," Lee whispered. "He…he's in a coma, Chip. No response, no movement. He's just…so still. And he isn't breathing on his own."

"My God! He's on a ventilator?" Morton asked in shock as the mask slipped from his face.

At Crane's brief nod, Morton struggled to regain his composure. The thought of the admiral being on a ventilator, unable to breathe on his own, was appalling. He knew the admiral had been hurt badly but to know he seemed so close to dying astounded him.

"Skipper!" Sparks called from the radio shack. "I have Dr. Bradley for you."

Crane walked to the phone and took it quickly, trying to ignore the slight shake to his hands.

"Dr. Bradley, this is Captain Crane. Dr. Jamieson has asked us to fly back to the Institute to pick you up and bring you out here. The Flying Sub should be there by…?" He looked to Chip for a time.

"Should be there by 1400 hours."

"Should be there by 1400 hours. Can you be ready by then?"

"I'm ready now. Gathered everything I required in a fairly short time as soon as Jamie told me what he needed. Has there been any change?"

"No. Not at all. I'll have my men pick you up."

"I'll be waiting, Captain."

"Crane out."

"Skipper? The Flying Sub's ready to go," Chief Sharkey called from the hatch leading to the Flying Sub as Kowalski climbed the ladder back up to the Observation Nose.

"Thanks, Chief," he said as he and Chip walked to them. "Ski, you and the Chief will fly back to Santa Barbara and pick up a Dr. Bradley at the Medical Bay at the Institute. He'll be ready when you get there. Bring him back here as quickly as you can."

"Aye, sir," Kowalski said hesitantly. "But, Captain…the admiral…how badly is he hurt?"

Crane was silent for a time as he tried to control the tremble in his voice enough to answer. "He's hurt pretty badly. He has a fractured skull, Ski. He's in a coma and… he's on a ventilator. Doc said he's hanging on by a thread. This Dr. Bradley's a specialist."

"A ventilator?" Ski asked quietly, shock and horror on his face.

Sharkey's face mirrored Kowalski's as the realization their commanding officer was so near death hit him. "So, the admiral's gonna be all right once this special doctor gets here, right Skipper?" Sharkey asked as he shrugged into his flight jacket, eager to get moving.

"I hope so, Chief. Doc doesn't know when, or if, the admiral will come out of it."

"If, sir? You can't mean the admiral isn't going to make it, do you?" Kowalski asked in shock.

"We don't really know. Right now's he's fighting to stay alive. We just have to…hope he has enough fight in him to…to come back to us. Now, get ready to fly back to NIMR."

"Yes sir," Sharkey said as he tried to control his feelings. The thought of the admiral never waking up…dying…well it just couldn't happen. It just couldn't.

Crane and Morton watched as Sharkey and Kowalski headed back down the ladder and announced they were ready to launch.

"Launch Flying Sub," Morton said calmly.

"Flying Sub away, sir."

Morton turned back to see Lee staring out the window of the great submarine, his face betraying his fear and worry.

"Lee…he'll be all right. He's come through so much. He'll come through this," Morton said, laying a hand on Crane's shoulder.

"I know, Chip. But Jamie seemed so defeated…so unsure. I've never seen him like that. It's like…he's given up on the admiral."

"You can't mean that. Jamie would never give up on anyone. Let alone the admiral!" Morton said.

"I know. I know. I just…"

"Just what?"

"He's so still, Chip," he said turning his eyes to Chip's. "And the ventilator…I just can't get it out of my mind, seeing him having a machine breathe for him and seeing him under all that rubble. And watching him die…"

"Hey, he isn't dead! Stop acting like he is! It's like you and Jamie have already decided he doesn't have a chance and have him buried! Stop it! As long as he's still alive, there's hope."

Lee turned his eyes to Chip in shock. Chip Morton was one of the steadiest, calmest men he'd ever known and it was a surprise to hear him raise his voice to him.

"You're right, Chip. I…I'm sorry."

"You don't owe me an apology, Lee. The admiral maybe when he wakes up and finds out you gave up on him. I wouldn't want to be in your shoes when that happens."

"Well, let's not tell him. OK?"

"Sounds good to me. Now, how about we go see how he's doing?"

Nodding shortly, the two officers walked to the Sick Bay, hoping they would find Admiral Nelson awake and alert.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter three

Entering the Sick Bay quietly, their hopes the admiral's condition had improved were dashed as soon as they came into the room. Nelson had been moved to a more comfortable bunk and Jamieson sat by his side, his head in his hands, the ever present beep of the heart monitor warring with the hiss of the ventilator.

"Jamie?' Crane called as he slowly walked to Nelson's bedside.

The doctor looked up, his eyes clouded and his face a mask of fear. Sighing heavily, he stood up. "Dr. Bradley on his way?"

"Yes. Sharkey and Kowalski left a few minutes ago," Lee said, his eyes turning to Nelson who lay silent and still. "Is he…?"

"He's no better. No worse and no better."

"That's a good thing, isn't it?" Chip asked, his face not showing the abhorrence he felt at the sight of Admiral Nelson hooked up to a heart monitor and IVs. But the ventilator…that was the worst. Knowing the admiral was incapable of breathing on his own sent shivers of alarm through him. What if he never woke up? What if he stayed just the way he was now: alive but not. Nothing would ever be the same. _Seaview_ would never be the same. The Institute would never be the same. His gaze turned to Lee who stared down at the comatose man in abject fear. Lee would never be the same. He shook his head at the turn his thoughts had taken as he felt the same fear and pessimism he had chastised Lee for embed in him. Drawing himself up, he closed off the thoughts and worries that had flowed through him and sighed.

Pulling up a chair, Chip sat by his commanding officer's side and leaned forward; his hand reaching out to Nelson's lying pale and unmoving on the stark white sheets. "Admiral? It's Chip. I know you can hear me. I want you to come back to us. _Seaview_ needs you, sir. We all do. Try, sir," he whispered to the comatose man, actually believing for a moment that Nelson would open his eyes, smile and ask what he was doing there. But the eyes remained closed, the hand beneath his still and he lowered his head as grief filled him.

Knowing the feelings Chip was having mirrored the ones he had, Crane laid his hand on Morton's shoulder, sharing his sorrow. Turning to Jamieson, he asked quietly, "Jamie, what is this Dr. Bradley going to do for the admiral that you haven't already?"

Jamieson, his eyes hooded, shrugged. "I…I don't know that he can do anything. I'm just not comfortable with having only my own judgment to go on. Bradley is a neurologist and if I've missed something, he'll know. Plus, there's the chance he may need surgery before we get back to port. I don't feel comfortable doing that. I'm not _qualified_ to do that."

"What kind of surgery?" Chip asked rising from his chair.

"The pressure on the admiral's brain is increasing. If it continues, his brain will be damaged from the pressure. To stop that, it may be necessary to burr a hole into his skull to relieve the pressure or, more invasively, a craniotomy to remove the blood clot itself. He can do that."

"And you can't?" Morton asked, trying to hide his feelings of what may be ahead for the admiral.

Jamieson was silent for a long time as he stared down at his patient. "I wouldn't trust myself to do that, no," he said quietly.

Crane and Morton looked at each other in surprise. The tone of Jamieson's voice and his posture all screamed dread, and that dread began to fill them even more.

"I…I'll leave you two here with him for a moment," he said as he headed for his office. "I'll be right back."

"My God, Chip! I've never seen Jamie so beaten, so unsure!"

"I know. I mean, I know he isn't a neurologist but…I guess I just always assumed he could take care of any health problem. He just looks so worried."

"Well, we can't worry about him right now. One thing we do have to worry about is who planted that bomb? Someone on board wanted us on the bottom of the sea," Lee said, his jaw clenched in anger.

"But who? And why?"

"I don't know. But we better find out before we hit port or whoever it is will high tail it."

"What do you propose we do?" Morton asked.

Crane was silent for a minute. "Check personnel records. See who's new. We can start there at least."

"All right. One more thing though. The Flying Sub's going to be arriving at the Institute shortly. You might want to let Angie know what's going on."

"Yeah, I thought of that. She hears the Flying Sub coming in and leaving, she's going to know something's up."

"That and she needs to know what's going on here so she can make up a story for the media. As soon as word gets out about the admiral…the press is going to be all over us."

"That's the last thing we need. You check the files and I'll face Angie," Lee said with a frown, knowing she was going to be as devastated as they all were about the admiral's condition.

Chip headed out to start checking files and seeing who onboard may have wanted to put a bomb on the boat. Lee headed to Doc's office to tell him he would be gone for a bit and was shocked to see him sitting with his head in his hands.

"Jamie? Chip and I have some things to take care of. We'll be back. Let us know if…"

"I'll let you know if there's any change."

At Lee's nod, Jamie called to him. "Skipper… you know I'll do everything I can for him, don't you?"

Turning back, Lee saw the misery on Jamie's face. "Of course I know that, Jamie. I trust you implicitly. I just wish you trusted yourself."

Jamie just lowered his head and nodded.

"I'll be back. I need to warn Angie what's happening before she hears the Flying Sub landing."

"Ah, good plan. She does need to know doesn't she?"

After a quick look to Nelson who was being attended to by one of the corpsmen, Crane left the Sick Bay and headed for his cabin, not really wanting to make the call to the Institute that he knew he needed to make. Angie was Admiral Nelson's secretary but she was more than that. The two were close friends also and Angie had spent many hours at Nelson's bedside in the past and it looked as though she may get a chance to do that again once they reached port.

Entering his cabin quickly he sat at his desk and reached for the intercom button. "Sparks, get me the Institute. Admiral Nelson's office, please."

"Aye sir," Sparks responded.

A short moment later and Sparks was on the intercom. "Miss Wood on the view phone for you, Skipper."

He reached out to the view phone on the corner of his desk and pushed a button, watching as it flickered to life.

"Lee? What's up? You're supposed to be back in port shortly! You miss me?" she asked, smiling.

"Something's happened, Angie. I wanted to warn you."

"Warn me? About what?" she asked her face hardening slightly as she waited for what she knew was going to be bad news.

"There's been an accident**. **There was a bomb planted onboard. It was connected to all the vital systems of the boat. Admiral Nelson tried to defuse it. We thought he had but there was a secondary trigger set to go off shortly after the device had been removed from the circuits. He…decided the only way to deal with it since he didn't have the time to defuse it was to try to get it off the boat. He ran to the Missile Room and placed it in the dive chamber and tried to eject it out the top."

"What happened?" she asked in a small voice when Lee stopped for a moment to gather his thoughts.

"The…the bomb went off before he could eject it. The dive chamber hatch blew back into the admiral and hit him in the head and chest. He was thrown backwards into a rack of dive equipment."

"Is…is he all right? No, of course he isn't," she said before Lee could answer. "That's why you're calling. How…how badly is he hurt?"

Lee struggled to answer and fear flared in Angie. "Oh Lee! Tell me he isn't dead! Please…"

"No, Angie! No, he's alive! But…he's hurt pretty badly."

"How badly?" she asked as she narrowed her gaze and stared at Crane closely.

"He…he has some broken ribs, a broken arm and…a fractured skull."

"A fractured…how bad?" she asked again, knowing there was more.

Lee lowered his head, not wanting to tell her all. "He went into cardiac arrest twice. The last time…he's not breathing on his own right now. He's on a ventilator. He's…he's in a coma, Angie," he finished, his voice hushed.

Angie was silent and Lee looked up to see her with her eyes closed and her head lowered. After a moment, she looked up, tears glistening on her eyelashes. "What does Jamie say? Is he going to be all right?" she asked, her voice trembling as a tear slipped from one eye and ran down her cheek.

Crane turned away and Angie knew the answer to her question was not going to be something she wanted to hear and she braced herself.

"Jamie says he…he doesn't know if the admiral is going to pull through or if he will ever regain consciousness."

"What? You mean he may never wake up? But not be…dead?" she whispered in horror.

A brief nod was all Lee could manage as he found himself unable to look her in the eye. "Jamie has asked a neurologist on consult to the Med Bay to fly out here and take care of the admiral. The Flying Sub should be landing soon to pick this Dr. Bradley up."

"Jamie has asked someone else to take care of Admiral Nelson? I…I'm kind of shocked."

"Yeah me too. He's been acting strangely this whole trip, Angie. He just seems so unsettled…uncertain. He said the admiral may need surgery to relieve the pressure on his brain and wants this Bradley to be onboard if that's the case."

"Can't you just fly the admiral back here?"

"Jamie and Dr. Bradley both feel he shouldn't fly right now. It's too dangerous."

"Oh Lee. I…I wish I could do something…anything," she said as tears spilled from her eyes as she thought of her boss…her friend…being hurt so badly and so close to dying. A sense of hopelessness filled her before she remembered the strength Admiral Nelson had always exhibited. He'd make it. He had to. "When…when will you be back in port?"

"We had to make some repairs and we're limping back now. We should be back by tomorrow night. I wanted you to know so you can make some kind of cover story if the media finds out. We don't want anyone to know how badly the admiral is hurt. His enemies would pounce on this."

"Yes they would. Don't worry. I'll make up a good cover story if we need it," she said resolutely. "Anything else I can do?"

"Edith needs to be told," he said quietly, not enjoying the thought of what her reaction to her brother's condition was going to be.

"Of course. I'll have her on a flight west as soon as I can set it up."

"There's something else you can do," Crane said with a frown.

"Anything. Just tell me," Angie said anxious to do anything to help.

"Check the personnel files for anyone that may look to be connected to someone that would have a grudge against the admiral or the Institute or…I don't know."

"Lee everyone on board is hand picked by the admiral. I don't know what the chances are that someone would be hired by the admiral that would have it in for him."

"I know," he said rubbing a hand over his tired eyes. "I…I just don't know where to look."

"I'll take care of it," she said. "You take care of yourself. Get some rest. You look exhausted."

"I can't rest, Angie. Not until I know he's going to be all right," he said softly.

"I know how you feel but you're not going to do him any good if you don't get some rest. Maybe something will come to you if you get some sleep," she said with a smile.

"Yes Mom. I'll get some rest. OK?" he said with a smile.

"OK," she said with an answering smile. "And Lee?"

"Yes?"

"Will…will you tell him when you see him that I said he needs to get better soon? There's…there are all kinds of reports and…and files he needs to work on," she said with a slight catch in her voice.

"I will. We'll see you tomorrow night," he said as he closed the connection.

He sat back in his chair and closed his eyes, trying to rest for just a minute but the image of Nelson, blood pouring down his face, filled his mind and he sat up and smacked his hand down on his desk. Who had planted that bomb? Who on board was willing to die to kill all the rest? He threw himself back in his chair and thought, trying to come up with an answer.

"Skipper! FS-1 is being brought aboard now," Morton's voice called to him and he sat up quickly, shocked to find that he had fallen asleep.

"Have Dr. Bradley escorted to Sick Bay. I'll be right there, Mr. Morton," he said. He rose, threw some water on his face and headed for the Sick Bay.

Quickly making his way down the corridors to the room that held his best friend, he was surprised to find Dr. Bradley was already there seated at Nelson's side, checking his new patient's vital signs when he arrived.

He walked quietly to stand behind the doctor who seemed oblivious to anyone and everything except his patient.

Finally, he leaned back and looked up, noticing Crane. "Ah, Captain Crane! I'm Jon Bradley. It's a pleasure to meet you, although the circumstances could be better," he said as he rose and stretched out his hand.

"It's a pleasure, Doctor. I apologize for not having met you. I was…detained."

"Not a problem. I didn't want to waste time. Wanted to get down here to see my newest patient as soon as I could."

"Do you have an opinion, Jon?" Jamie, standing off to the side, asked.

"Well, I suspect you know what I found, Will."

"Could you tell us what you think? What they need to hear," Jamie said quietly.

"Well, what Admiral Nelson is experiencing is a subdural hematoma. That is basically bleeding into the space between the skull and the brain itself. There are many blood vessels that run through the brain and in the spaces between the outside of the brain and the inside of the skull. During a brain injury, any of these vessels can tear and bleed. Blood fills that space and begins to put pressure on the brain itself causing swelling of the brain. If this swelling continues…the patient will die," he said matter-of-factly. "But…we're not going to let that happen. We'll keep a close eye on his vitals and check the pressure on his brain constantly. If the pressure rises to a detrimental level, we'll do surgery."

"You make it sound so easy," Lee said.

"Easy? No. Not easy. But, possible yes. Admiral Nelson's brain has received a double whammy so to speak. His brain was first thrust forward into his skull when the hatch hit him and then was thrust in the other direction when the back of his head impacted the diving equipment rack. So we're also dealing with a brain concussion in addition to the hematoma."

"That just sounds so bad," Morton said quietly.

"It is. But, the brain is a remarkable organ. Recovery is sometimes breathtaking in its speed and sometimes agonizingly slow at others. We must wait," he said, shrugging.

"And the coma? Will he come out of that?" Lee asked quietly.

"I can't really say for certain. Right now, I would judge Admiral Nelson's level of coma as the very deepest level of comatose state. Long term effects I can't predict. Whether he responds and recovers completely or suffers neurological, cognitive or physical damage…or he remains as he is permanently…isn't something I can foresee. The statistics for patients with severe head injuries such as what Admiral Nelson has experienced are not encouraging as only 25 percent to 30 percent of these individuals have good long-term outcomes. But from what I have heard about this man," he said turning is gaze to Nelson. "I believe fully he will not give up and even now is fighting to come back."

"I hope you're right, Doctor. I really hope you're right," Lee said as he stared at Nelson, fear filling him as he pondered what Bradley had said.

"Can he hear us?" Morton asked stepping nearer to Nelson.

"I have read no research that says definitively that people in comas can hear what is going on about them. Common sense says no but, I believe on some level, he hears us but just cannot respond. Besides, what does it hurt to talk to him as if he could hear?"

"Thank you, Jon," Jamie said quietly. "I know I feel better having someone trained in brain injury here."

"That's why I was hired on a consulting basis, wasn't it? I have no other patients at the moment fortuitously, so here I am. Now, let me check those x-rays and see the results of the past neurological exams," he said to Jamie who showed him the way to his office.

~O~

The next few hours seemed to pass slowly as the crew**, **who'd been informed of the severity of the injuries Nelson had suffered saving their lives, waited anxiously for some good news to come from the Sick Bay concerning their commanding officer. Chief Sharkey stalked the corridors making sure the boat was running as smoothly and as swiftly as she could back to Santa Barbara while Crane and Morton struggled to find a clue as to who could have planted the bomb. That answer came unexpectedly from Angie in a videophone call.

Lee and Chip were in the captain's cabin going over personnel files and trying to come up with a clue as to who could have planted the bomb when Sparks informed them Angie was calling.

"Lee, I think I may have found something interesting in the crew files. Do you remember about a year ago the loss of Sea Lab Triton?"

"Of course I do! That explosion on the lab killed five men. Two of them died because we couldn't get there in time to rescue them. They died from asphyxiation."

"The admiral was devastated by that," Chip added. "Why?"

"One of the men on the Lab, one of the ones that didn't die in the explosion, was named Dave Howard."

"Yes, I remember Dave," Lee said thoughtfully. "Young guy fresh out of USC. First job he'd held. The admiral was impressed by the research he'd already done."

"Well, Dave had a twin brother named Derek."

"I remember him. Never met him but he called the admiral a lot blaming him for the loss of the lab."

"And his brother," Angie added. "There was more communication between the admiral and Howard than he told you about. He didn't want you to be involved. He thought you would just worry about him."

"So he kept it from me? Blast that man!"

"Look, that's all well and good but what does that have to do with the bomb?" Morton broke in.

"This is a picture of Dave Howard," Angie said holding up a picture of a smiling man in a white lab coat.

"Yes. So?"

"This is a picture of a crewman that's been on _Seaview_ for about six months. Name is Jack Sandberg. Good credentials. All his work history checks out. On the surface."

"What do you mean on the surface?"

"I mean when I contacted a few of his past employers, they gave him glowing reports."

"I'm lost. What's the problem then?"

"The problem is this," she said pointing to the picture of Sandberg. "Isn't Jack Sandberg. It's Derek Howard."

"What?" Crane said leaning forward to stare at the picture.

"I tried to come up with anyone other than the usual suspects that would hate the admiral enough to die to get back at him when I remembered Howard and all the threats he's made against the admiral: threats you two didn't know about. He was so consumed by hatred for the admiral. When I was going over the personnel files of any recent hires, I noticed the similarities in the pictures of Dave Howard and Sandberg and I started contacting references on Sandberg's resume. Everything checked out until on a whim I had them send me a photo from their files. That's when I compared the picture on Sandberg's NIMR employee ID card and this," she said holding up another picture of a man about the same age as Howard but with darker features.

"How did he get away with that? Where's this Sandberg now?" Lee asked angrily.

"No one knows. All his old employers thought he was working for NIMR. They were quite happy for him."

"Except he isn't working for us," Chip said. "So where is he?"

"I contacted the Los Angeles Police Department and the FBI and let them know what was going on. They started their own investigation but the supposition is Sandberg is either dead or paid off to leave the country and allow Howard to assume his identity."

"Wow! You've been busy, Angie! We only contacted you 24 hours ago with the news and you already figured it out. I'm impressed," Lee said with a smile.

"Well, it isn't confirmed yet," she said with a slight smile. "But when it comes to people I care about - people I think of as family - no one hurts them and gets away with it."

Lee and Chip were silent for a moment as they acknowledged the truth in her words and found it echoed in their own minds.

"We just have to find this Howard now," Chip said breaking the silence.

"Yeah. If he was willing to kill all of us just to get to the admiral…"

"What's stopping him from killing him before we get back to port? And we get back in about eight hours," Lee said. "We need to put protection on the admiral and make sure Howard can't get to him. Now that we know who to look for we can protect him. Angie, great work. We'll let you know what happens and we'll see you in a few hours."

"I'll be at the Med Bay waiting when I know you've docked. Is there…is there any news about the admiral?" she asked hesitantly.

"No. Sorry Angie. He's fighting. You know he won't give up. Dr. Bradley's been trying some new therapies hoping they'll show some results."

"Therapies? What kind?"

"He's increasing the oxygen levels through the ventilator and giving him some new drugs that have been proving beneficial to comatose patients. And he's covering his body and his head in cool sheets."

"Cool…why?" she asked wrinkling her forehead in confusion.

"Some new untried therapy of his. Theory is it helps relieve the swelling and allows the brain to heal more quickly by lowering the temperature of the body and brain I guess."

"Well, I just hope it works," she said with a slight catch in her voice.

"Yeah. We all do," Lee said quietly. "We'll see you soon. Stay strong, Angie. He'll come back to us. I know he will."

At Angie's tentative nod, Lee severed the connection and turned to Chip who was pacing the small cabin restlessly.

"We need to find this guy, Lee. Now. We can't let him get away."

"We need to get some crewmen on this. We don't want to spook him and have him get away," Lee said as he reached for the mic nearby.

"Chief Sharkey and Seamen Kowalski and Patterson come to the captain's cabin immediately."

"We'll fill them in on what Angie found out. We don't have any question of their loyalty to the admiral."

A short time later the three men arrived and were briefed on what Angie had found out.

"So you mean to tell me this guy thought he'd kill all of us just to take out the admiral? I mean it's bad enough he wanted the admiral dead, but all of us?" Sharkey sputtered angrily.

"Looks that way, Chief," Lee said angrily.

"Question is, what do we do? Just grab him?" Kowalski said. "'Cause I'm all up for that. Believe me. No one does what he did to the admiral and gets away with it."

"We have to move soon. We're close to port. We don't want him to get away," Crane said.

"Sirs, if he wanted the admiral dead and he didn't care if he died too, well I don't think he'd just run," Patterson said quietly.

"You're right, Pat," Crane said rising quickly from his chair. "We need to get to the admiral now and put protection on him. You three find some men you trust and start looking for this Howard. You all know what he looks like. Don't spook him but find him! Chip, you and I will head to the Sick Bay and stay with the admiral until we reach port."

All five men headed out to do their best to protect the admiral. Lee and Chip walked quickly to the Sick Bay finding it strange for all the lights to be lowered in the middle of the day. Lee put a hand on Chip's arm and entered cautiously. A lone figure sat near the admiral talking to him quietly. At first Lee thought it was one of the corpsmen until he saw him dressed in a red jumpsuit of the crew.

"I've wanted you dead for a long time Nelson and now I'll have my revenge for my brother," he said loudly enough for the two _Seaview_ officers to hear as he reached up and switched off the ventilator. Alarm bells began to ring loudly as Nelson stopped breathing, the heart monitor alarm echoing the frantic beep of the vent alarm.

"NO!" Crane yelled as he propelled himself into the room followed by Morton. Crane tackled Howard and struggled with him as Morton tried to figure out how to turn the ventilator back on. He searched for signs of the Sick Bay staff and found Danny Watkins face down on the other side of the room and both doctors slumped over a desk nearby. "Damn it," he yelled as he tried to ignore the struggle going on in the room.

Trying to remember what switch Howard had hit, he reached out and flicked one up, praying with all he had it was the correct switch. He began to breathe again when Nelson did, his chest rising and falling slowly, then turned just as Crane landed a punch to Howard's nose, smiling in satisfaction as he saw him slump to the ground. Grabbing him, Crane continued to rain punches down on the unconscious man until Chip sprang to him, grabbing his arm and stopping him.

"That won't help the admiral, Lee! It's not what he'd want! Stop it!" Chip yelled, relaxing when Crane let go of Sandberg and watched him slide to the ground.

Taking a deep breath, he nodded to Chip and hurried to Nelson's side, kneeling by him quickly. "Is he all right?' he asked in concern, his hands on Nelson's wrist trying to find a pulse, ignoring the tell tale beep of the heart monitor, and sighed in relief as he felt a faint beat beneath his fingers.

He sat back on his heels and gazed at Nelson, relief filling him that they'd been in time. "It's all right, Admiral. We got the guy that did this," he whispered as he patted him gently on the shoulder. "He won't get away with what he did…what he tried to do. I promise you that."

A moan from the other side of the room from Watkins had Chip moving quickly to his side as he tried to sit up.

"Easy, Danny," Chip said as he helped him sit up. "What happened?"

"Some…some guy came in…walloped me over the head. He…Admiral Nelson! Is…is he all right?" he asked in anxiety as he saw Crane hovered over his commanding officer.

"I think he's all right, Danny," Crane said. "He turned the vent off but Chip restarted it. He could use someone to check him over though."

"Where are Dr. Jamieson and Dr. Bradley?"

"Behind you. They look to be out," Chip said as he helped Danny to his feet.

"I'll get to them in a minute," he said as he stumbled his way over to Nelson and sat in the chair vacated by Howard. Chip moved over to help Jamieson and Bradley as Danny took Nelson's vitals, checking the monitors, leads and IVs connected to him while Lee hovered behind him in anxiety.

A moan from Jamieson told Chip that he was alive at least. "Jamie?" he called as he placed a hand on his wrist, taking his pulse, then took Bradley's. "You OK?"

Another moan and Jamie tried to sit up, his head exploding in pain at the movement. "What…what happened? I feel like I got hit by a Mack truck," he whispered as he leaned back in his chair then noticed Bradley face down in front of him. "Jon? What…is he all right?"

"His pulse is fine, a little fast same as yours but he seems to be out."

"Any idea what happened?" Lee asked as he left Nelson's side, confident Danny was taking all the appropriate measures for the admiral.

"I remember…drinking some coffee and talking…about the admiral. Talking about what to do for him with Jon. Next thing I know…you're here and I have the world's worst headache."

Lee went to the pot of coffee and sniffed it. "Who brought the coffee, Jamie?"

"Uh…that new guy, Sandberg. He…what happened to him?" he asked, pointing to the still body of Howard.

"He tried to kill the admiral. He turned the vent off. Probably also spiked your coffee with something to put you and Bradley out and knocked Danny out," Morton said.

"Danny! Where is he?"

"I'm here, Doctor. Just checking the admiral."

"Harry?" Jamie called in concern as he tried unsuccessfully to stand. "What did he do? Is he all right?"

"I think he's all right. The vent was turned off but he seems to be OK. His heart rate's a little slow but it's coming up now," Danny said.

"How long was the vent off?" he asked anxiously, this time managing to rise successfully and wobbled to Nelson's side.

"Not long. A minute at the most. I didn't know which switch to hit to turn it back on," Morton said in concern. "Was it too long?"

Jamie knelt by Nelson's side and checked all the things Danny had just checked and sighed in relief. "I…I think we're all right. His heart rate is improving. Oxygenation levels look good. Vent's working properly. What the hell is wrong with Sandberg to try to kill the admiral?"

"It's a long story, Jamie. Let's just say, the guy that planted the bomb and did this is going to spend a long time in jail," Lee said as he stared down at his best friend, who hadn't moved a muscle in all the commotion.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter four

Dr. Bradley regained consciousness shortly after that and, other than a headache, was no worse off than Jamie. Nelson remained comatose and although the man who had planned Nelson's, and their, demise was in the brig, the mood onboard did not improve the closer they got to port.

"We're ready for docking, Captain," Morton said as the submarine arrived at its home berth several hours later.

"Carry on, Mr. Morton," he said as he stared out the windows of the Observation Nose, confident his crew, the admiral's crew, knew what needed doing. Was it only a short while ago he had been sitting here with the admiral, enjoying talking with him, joking with him? He shook his head in sorrow as he mused over how fast things could change. In a heartbeat, they could be irrevocably changed forever.

"Docking complete, Skipper," Morton said a few minutes later as he came up beside Crane who was still staring out the huge windows fronting the sub with unseeing eyes, his thoughts on the man lying in Sick Bay. "The Institute ambulance is waiting to take the admiral to the Med Bay as soon as the doctors have him ready**. **Oh, and the police are here to take Howard off our hands."

"Thanks, Chip," he said without turning. "Get Howard off the boat first. I don't want him onboard one second longer than he needs to be," he said, his jaw clenched tight as he thought of the man whose actions had put Nelson into a coma, possibly permanently. "Then release the men for leave."

"Aye sir," the exec said, moving away to give the orders, returning shortly with a bemused expression on his face.

"Uh, Lee…you need to see this."

"What, Chip?" Crane asked in slight irritation. He wanted to get the admiral off the boat and back to the Med Bay as soon as possible.

"Just come up top for a minute," he said as he climbed the ladder to the bridge, Crane following behind.

"What is it, Chip? We need to get the admiral…"

"Look, Lee," Morton said as he gestured below.

Looking below, his exasperation turned to amazement as he saw two lines of men, standing on either side of the walk that led from the gangplank all the way up to the waiting ambulance.

"Chief Sharkey said the men won't leave until they see the admiral loaded into the ambulance. Most said they won't go anywhere on leave until they know the admiral's going to be all right," he said quietly. "The line stretches all the way through the sub to the Sick Bay's doors, Lee."

Crane was speechless for a moment as he watched the line of men waiting for their admiral to come by. "I wish he could see this," Lee whispered. "If he only knew what…"

Morton placed a comforting hand on Crane's shoulder. "He'll know," he said gesturing to Seaman Patterson who stood down the deck from them avidly taking pictures before disappearing below to continue. "He'll know."

Patterson followed the meandering line through the great sub to the room that held its creator, snapping pictures as he went of the somber crew.

"Well, we're as ready to move him as we can be," he heard Dr. Bradley say when he was just outside the doors. "Ready, Will?"

"Yes. Let's get him on the temporary vent and get him to the Med Bay," he said tersely.

"Harry," Jamie said quietly as he leaned over his friend, grasping his hand tightly. "We're taking you to the Med Bay now. Once there, we'll get your respirator reattached and get you settled in. Just rest easy and we'll be there in no time."

The corpsmen loaded Nelson carefully onto the stretcher lying nearby, strapped him in and hooked him up to a temporary ventilator before moving him out into the corridor where they stopped in shock.

"What's wrong, Danny? We need to…" Jamie stopped in amazement as he walked past the stretcher and into the hall where he spied what was wrong.

He shook his head at the single row of grim faced men that stared down at Nelson in sadness.

"It's our way of honoring him, sir," the first man in line, Seaman Kowalski, said quietly. "The whole crew is stretched out the whole way up to the ambulance. We just wanted him to know…to know how much we care."

Jamieson closed his mouth and leaned down to Nelson, placing a soft hand on the man's shoulder and squeezed. "Did you hear that? Your crew is here - all of them - to see you off the boat and to the Institute. If only you could see this, Harry," he finished, his breath catching slightly. "All right, let's get him to his new bed."

The stretcher bearing the comatose Admiral Nelson moved quickly down the lines of crewmen, some who reached out to touch him briefly or offer words of encouragement as he went by.

Finally, he was loaded onto the waiting ambulance and ferried back to the Institute hospital where he was greeted by select members of the Med Bay staff and one tearful secretary that tried her best to stay out of the way of the stretcher.

Gentle hands gathered up Nelson's still form and deposited him gently in the stark white bed. They attached his breathing tube to the Med Bay respirator, hooked him back up to a heart monitor and covered him tenderly before casting a brief concerned look to him and relinquishing him to the two doctors that watched carefully.

"Harry, you're home now. You're at the Institute. You're in Med Bay. Any time you want to open your eyes and let us know what we can do for you, feel free to do so," Jamie said softly as he leaned over his patient, checking that all the monitors, tubes and instruments were in proper order before standing back up.

Bradley placed a comforting hand on his shoulder. "Let's give him some peace, eh? Let him get acquainted with his surroundings," he said as he took Jamieson's elbow and ushered him from the room where they found a waiting audience of Lee, Chip, Angie and assorted crew members assembled, all staring at them with hopeful looks.

"No change," Jamie said. "No better but no worse, so let's be happy for that. Angie, did you get in touch with Edith?"

"Yes, I finally tracked her down. She should be coming in shortly. As a matter of fact, she should be here by now."

"I'll go check with security. See if she's on the grounds yet." Chief Sharkey said, eager to do something to help.

"Thanks, Chief," Crane said shortly, his eyes never leaving the door to the admiral's room.

"Jamie, can I see him? Just for a minute?" Angie asked quietly.

Jamie turned to Bradley his eyebrows raised in question. "There's no harm in that, is there, Jon?"

"No, of course not. Might be good for him to hear a new voice talking to him," he said turning to her. "Talk to him. See if he'll react to your voice."

"Come on," Jamie said as he grasped her elbow lightly and guided her to Nelson's room.

"Now, he's hooked up to a lot of machines," Jamie said, stopping by the door. "Just remember they're all keeping him alive at the moment."

"I won't fall apart, Jamie. It's not the first time one of them has returned home almost dead," she said gesturing over her shoulder at the others behind her. "And it probably won't be the last."

Jamie opened the door and ushered her into the softly lit room, stopping when she had her first clear look at her boss. A breathing tube snaked from his mouth, leads were attached to his chest monitoring his heart, IVs were attached to his good arm and his left arm was encased in plaster. She took a deep breath and walked slowly to stand by the side of her friend and boss, worry filling her face as she took in his pale features that were accented by the large bruise on the left side of his face. She closed her eyes as she contemplated what the future might hold for the man that lay so still before her: machines breathing for him, machines monitoring his vitals. Could he hear her? Did he know she was there?

"Can he hear me, Jamie?" she asked quietly.

"Maybe. It can't hurt to talk to him. If he can, you may give him something to come back to."

"You mean like a guide?" she asked turning to Jamie who shrugged noncommittally.

"I'll leave you alone. Talk to him, touch him. See if you can get a response," he said as he left the room quietly.

"Admiral, it's…Angie. I…I just want you to know I…we're all here for you. You need to come back to us, sir. Please try. I know it's probably hard and it may feel safe where you are but…we need you to come back. Try. Please," she said as she stared hard into his pale, bruised face, hoping for some slight sign he heard. Tears trickled from her eyes, down her nose and onto the hand she held tightly as he made no movement, no sound, no anything to show he heard. She felt hopelessness begin to fill her as Nelson seemed unreachable.

Outside the room Nelson lay in, Lee Crane, his hands thrust deeply into his pockets, paced anxiously back in forth in front of the hospital door that hid his friend and mentor from his sight. It had been too long since Nelson had been awake, too long since the bomb had seemingly taken the admiral from them and he felt the glimmer of hope he'd tried to hold on to flicker as worry filled him. He had to come back. A life with Nelson in a never-ending coma, or dead, was not a possibility. It couldn't be a possibility.

He'd made another pass by the door when he saw Sharkey walking quickly down the hall trying to keep up with a short, trim auburn-haired woman and he smiled as he watched the admiral's younger sister approach.

"Edith," he said as he opened his arms to the tear stained young woman who hid her face in his chest for a moment as his arms surrounded her.

Pulling back she gazed up into his soft eyes. "Any change?" she asked quietly, hope etched in her features.

"No," he said as he wiped stray tears from her cheeks. "Angie's with him now. Probably giving him grief about lounging around, letting her do all the work," he said with a humorless smile.

She hiccupped and smiled. "Probably. I just can't believe he…he might never come back to us," she whispered. "I…"

"Don't think like that, Edith! Your brother is one of the strongest men I've ever known. He'll come back to us. I know he will. You can't give up hope. He just needs a little more time," Lee said as he drew her back into a tight hug which she accepted gratefully.

She pulled away from his comforting embrace when she saw the door to her brother's room open and his secretary walk through, a handkerchief dabbing at her tear stained eyes.

"Edith!" she said as she saw her boss's younger sister in Lee's embrace. "Oh I'm so glad you're here."

Edith pulled from Lee's arms and walked to Angie embracing her in a huge hug. "I'm here. How is he?" she asked as she pulled back a bit to look into her eyes and saw the truth there. "He's no better is he?"

Unable to speak, Angie could only shake her head. "He's so still. So…it's just not fair. He…"

"I know. It isn't fair. But he made his choice, didn't he? And what other choice would he have made? Hmm? To risk others? No. No my brother would take the risk for himself and be glad he had the option. Now, let me go see him. Maybe he'll hear me and come back," she said as she gave Angie another hug and disappeared into the room that held her only remaining relative.

On the other side of the door, she stopped and stared in fear at her brother in front of her, hooked to machines, tubes running from various spots on his body, and she felt panic rise within her. What if he never came back to her? What if he died? What if what she saw now was all she would ever see of him again: dead but not?

Pulling herself up, she walked to her brother's side and stared down at the face she had loved from the moment she had first laid eyes on him. Her big brother, protector, comforter all rolled into one devil-may-care imp.

"Harry dear," she whispered as she leaned over him, pausing to give his forehead a brief, feathery kiss. "You must come back to me. I can't…I don't _want_ to live without you in my life. I know you chose this life-or it chose you-but I didn't. I didn't choose to spend my days worrying that someday I'll get a call that says you're never coming back to me. And I simply do not wish to live every day knowing you aren't just a phone call away. I can't do it. Don't make me. Please. Open your eyes. Let me see those beautiful blue eyes we Nelson's are famous for."

But Harry's eyes remained closed and Edith felt panic begin to rise within her until she felt a soft hand on her shoulder squeezing.

"It's all right, Edith," Lee whispered. "It's going to be all right. He's going to come back to us."

"How do you know that?" she asked angrily. "How? You heard what Jamie and that…that other doctor said. He may never come out of this! His brain may be damaged beyond…"

"Stop it!" Lee said loudly as he pulled her away from Nelson's side. "I am not going to believe that the Admiral Nelson I know isn't in there just trying to come back to us. And I don't understand how you can stand by his side and practically tell him you don't think he's strong enough to come back."

"I…I didn't do that! I would never…oh my," she said in a pain filled voice. "I did do that, didn't I? Oh, Harry."

She walked back to her brother's side and took his weak limp hand in hers and leaned close. "I'm sorry big brother. I…I let my emotions get in the way. I know you're in there. And I know you're fighting to come back. So hear me now, Harry…I'll wait for you to open your eyes no matter how long it takes. I won't doubt you again. When you're ready, we'll be here…waiting. Lee, Chip, Angie, your crew…and me. Just…just don't take too long. OK?" she said as she kissed him softly on the cheek before turning to Lee who stared down at his friend sadly.

"Thank you. I…I just forgot for a moment how strong…how stubborn my brother is. You were right."

"It happens sometimes."

"What does?" she asked.

"My being right. It doesn't happen often when dealing with you Nelsons. But it does happen," he said as he wrapped an arm about her.

Together they moved closer to Nelson's side and stared down at the man before them, unmoving and still. Lee reached down and took hold of his hand, staring at his best friend in sorrow, then leaned closer, placing his other hand gently on Nelson's forehead in a comforting gesture. "Admiral, please…fight. Come back to us," he whispered, his voice breaking slightly. "Hear us. Just don't give up. I…" Overcome for a moment as thoughts of what might be ahead filled him, he gathered himself, knowing Edith was watching and rose back up.

Plastering as bright a smile on his face as he could, he turned to the woman who stared knowingly at him by his side. "He's going to be fine. Believe that," he said.

"Yes. Yes he will. He has to be."

"I bet you didn't take time to eat at all once you heard, did you?" he asked in concern as he examined her face.

"Eating wasn't a priority. You know all about that, I think," she said with a playful smile.

"Well, let me take you to the finest dining establishment on the Institute grounds then and we'll both make Dr. Jamieson happy."

"Finest dining on the grounds, hmmm? All right. To the NIMR cafeteria," she said with a small smile after a quick look back to her brother.

~O~

Hours, days passed in unending succession. Tests were administered to the comatose admiral lying still and silent on the hospital bed but the results were not what those waiting with hopeful hearts and minds wanted to hear and their hope began to fade away, replaced by resignation. The man who had conceived a submarine to be used for marine research with windows fronting it was gone. The man who had built a marine research institute from the ground up was no more. The man who had risen quickly through the ranks of the Navy, and attained the four stars of an admiral in a fairly short period of time, was unreachable and their hearts broke.

~O~

A week after Nelson had arrived at the Med Bay; Will Jamieson stared down at his friend and commanding officer in sadness. Nothing he and Dr. Bradley had tried had lessened Nelson's coma and he felt an overwhelming guilt fill him. Perhaps if he had been totally focused on his patient - his friend - the outcome might have been different. But try as he might, he found no other results no matter what he might have done. Nelson still breathed only by the mere fact he had a machine to breathe for him. Was that part of his brain that controlled breathing gone? Or did he simply need more time? Was he in there, trying, fighting to come back? As each day passed, his faith that Harriman Nelson would come back was dwindling and he felt as if he were a traitor to the man lying before him.

"I'll be back, Harry," he said quietly as he leaned down and placed a hand on his patient's arm, rubbing it gently for a minute. "You rest up. I hear Dr. Bradley has a few more tests he wants to run today. If you want the poking and prodding to stop, just open your eyes."

Sighing when he didn't, he patted the arm and straightened. "It's all right. I'm not giving up on you even though it may seem I have. Fight. Just fight.

Jamieson headed towards the door and stopped quickly when he saw the door to Nelson's room open as Angie Wood entered, a tentative smile on her face and a question in her raised eyebrows.

"He's no better. Not obviously better I should say."

"Obviously?" she echoed as she moved farther into the room and stared over at her boss.

"We don't know what may be going on inside his brain. The fracture is healing. The bleeding has stopped and the hematoma has begun to shrink."

"That's good!" Angie said happily.

"Yes it is. But we don't know what, if any, damage was done to his brain already. He's still not breathing on his own and until he wakes up, we aren't going to know the extent of the damage."

"You keep saying that," Angie said angrily as she plopped a stack of magazines she had been carrying down on a nearby chair.

"Saying what?" Jamieson asked in confusion.

"You keep saying "damage" as if it's a foregone conclusion that he _has_ brain damage. I choose to believe he's in there. He hears us, he feels us touching him and soon he'll wake up. And be whole," she finished in a firm voice, daring Jamieson to contradict her.

Jamieson smiled at her tone. "You know sometimes I think he surrounds himself with the most stubborn, and loyal, people God ever created," he said as he gestured to Nelson.

"Yes, well, that may be," she said with a slight smile. "I wouldn't know about that stubborn part though."

"So what's all this?" he asked, motioning to the stack of magazines she'd carried in.

"Just some reading material. I thought maybe he'd like to hear some scientific journals read to him. I found a few in his office and found a few more in the library," she said with an impish smile.

"Why the mischievous smile?" he asked.

"Oh, let's just say he isn't going to like the subjects or the authors I'm going to read to him."

"I'm lost. Why read him something that he wouldn't normally read?"

"Well, I got to thinking that we've all been talking about pleasant things to him: progress on _Seaview's_ repairs, the crew, Edith and her stories from home and their childhood - stuff like that. And I thought that was good but maybe boring to him, you know? I thought about when he's the most animated and that's when he's mad as a hornet about something."

"OK, so what did you find that's going to raise his blood pressure?"

"Dr. Anton Leffler," she said proudly.

"Anton Leffler! He and the admiral don't see eye to eye on any theories _or_ research! The two of them almost came to blows the last time…oh…you're good, Miss Wood," Jamie said after it hit him what she was going to try to do.

"I know," she said as she picked up a journal with a self-satisfied smile. "I just hope it works."

She walked across the room and sat down in the chair by Nelson's side and touched his arm lightly as if to let him know she was there. "I brought some scientific journals today, Admiral. I thought maybe you could use a break from all the newsy stuff and get into some research. I thought I'd start with this one from "The Marine Environmental Research Journal". There's a fascinating article in here by Dr. Anton Leffler that seems very interesting. To me at least," she said as she began to read the article that seemed to try to destroy every theory Nelson held about the causes of change in marine ecosystems.

Jamieson listened for a bit, watching the monitors that were hooked to Nelson for any change but saw none. He caught Angie's eye briefly and nodded to her then walked out, hoping Nelson's secretary achieved what no one else had been able to: a response of any kind from the man lying in there.

~O~

After four hours of reading Leffler's supposed theories, Angie's voice was hoarse as she finished another article. She knew enough about marine biology and the admiral's work to know what Leffler postulated was hogwash and if Nelson had been conscious, he would have been crawling on the ceiling in agitation at the absurdity of what Leffler's theories proposed. Yet, as she stared at him and then the monitors, she saw no change and felt herself losing hope again.

She started as she heard the door open and saw Jamie enter. The frown on her face told the doctor there was no apparent change and he walked closer, hoping he saw some difference, no matter how small. But there wasn't. Respiration, heart, all the monitors read virtually the same and his hopes sank lower.

"It was a good idea, Angie," he said softly.

"But not good enough," she said sadly. "I hoped he'd react."

"I know. But let's not give up, all right? Harry dislikes Leffler immensely. But he's not the only one that sets him off now is he? I asked Lee and Chip to come up with some other people, whether it be scientists or reporters or whoever, that hearing about them or hearing their research read to him might elicit a response."

"Really? You think it may still work?" she asked with hope in her voice.

"It may. It's a good starting point. And it gives Lee and Chip something to do other than be in here staring at him hoping to see a change. You were here for a long time reading to him. Let's let him rest now. Maybe he'll think over what he heard and come back to us just so he can tell us all the reasons why Leffler is an idiot," he said with a laugh.

"If only," she sighed. "We're going to go now, Admiral," she said as she leaned over Nelson, grasping his hand in hers. "You rest and when I come back, or Lee and Chip come back, we'll have more good theories and articles to read to you."


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Over the next few days, either Lee, Chip, Angie or Edith took turns reading more and more outlandish theories from the supposed "real" causes of coral death to a rehashing of a theory refuted over 150 years ago concerning the supposed lack of life below a certain depth. Certain marine biologists had become the marine science's Flat Earth Society in their continued beliefs that research showing life existed below 300 fathoms was flawed or just plain made up: theories they all knew would put Nelson into an apoplectic fit. If he heard them. Edith continued to talk to him as if he heard and rambled on about anything and everything she could think of in her attempt to reach her brother. All appeared to be for naught as Nelson remained comatose.

Angie had just finished reading another in a long line of poppycock to him, her voice hoarse from the constant use, and threw the offending article to the floor.

"I don't know how supposedly renowned, well respected journals can publish drivel like that," she said in disgust as she stretched her aching back. "Admiral, you need to get better so you can refute all this crap."

She glanced over to Nelson, expecting to see only the outside of his eyelids but was stunned when she saw his eyes were open slightly.

"Admiral?" she whispered as she got up from her chair and leaned over him, staring into the barest hint of blue eyes. "Can you see me? Can you hear me?"

She stared hard at him but was disappointed when her boss's eyes never seemed to meet hers and instead seemed focused on a spot over her shoulder.

Grabbing his hand in a gentle clasp, she ran a hand down his cheek, trying to get him to turn his eyes to hers as she called to him, but his gaze remained fixed on some unknown spot and her heart broke. Jamie and Dr. Bradley had warned them that Nelson's brain may have been damaged and that he may never be the same. Now she thought she saw the truth of their words: Nelson wasn't really there. Sorrow surged through her at what she saw as a certainty, and she lowered her head to the side of his bed and cried softly.

As her heart broke at the thought of her boss and friend being a virtual vegetable she didn't see the gentle blue eyes turn slowly to look down at the woman who wept openly by his side, her tears wetting his hand. A slight squeeze to her hand brought her head up quickly and in shock saw Nelson's blue eyes turned to hers. A small twitch to his lips, reminiscent of a smile graced his face.

"Admiral?" she whispered. "Can you see me? Can you…oh I need to get Jamie! But, I'm afraid if I do you'll slip away again. Ok, knowing you, you want answers. You're in Med Bay. There was a bomb on _Seaview_. It went off and you got hurt pretty badly from it. You have a pretty bad head injury and you've been here for awhile. There's a tube down your throat to help you breathe so don't try talking. Oh, and _Seaview_ is all right as is all the crew. OK? Did you understand all that?"

Nelson's lips twitched again slightly and a brief movement of his head told her, her boss not only heard but understood and her heart soared.

She turned her eyes to the door. "I really need to get Jamie," she said turning back just in time to see Nelson's eyes slide closed. "It's all right. Sleep now. Everything's going to be all right now."

Excited beyond belief, Angie patted Nelson's hand briefly then bolted for the door, opening it to see Nurse Betty Harrison at the nurse's station outside Nelson's room.

"Betty! Get Dr. Jamieson! He woke up! Hurry!" she said as tears ran down her cheeks.

"What did you say?"

Turning, she saw Jamie walking slowly down the hall towards her.

"He was awake, Jamie!" she cried as she ran to him. "His eyes opened. I told him what had happened and I asked if he understood. He nodded to me! Jamie, that has to mean he's going to be all right, doesn't it?"

"Calm down, Angie. Let me check him out. Betty, call Lee, Chip and Edith. They should be in the admiral's office right now. Tell them to come down here. And call Dr. Bradley. Tell them the admiral was awake briefly. You stay out here," he said holding Angie back as she tried to follow him into Nelson's room.

Angie watched, her heart in her throat as Jamieson disappeared into the admiral's room and only half heard Betty calling the others and telling them.

Jamie opened the door to Nelson's room and stepped inside, an air of expectancy about him. For so long he'd hoped and prayed there would be some response from his friend and he'd felt ashamed as his hope began to die out. He walked closer and stared at the monitors, a small smile lighting his face.

"Well, Will? How is he?" a voice behind him asked.

Jamie turned, a big smile lighting his face as he saw Bradley staring at the same monitors he had been. "That was fast."

"I was just coming in to see him."

"I think you can see for yourself how he is, Jon," Jamie said with a small smile.

"Yes, yes I can," he said as he walked closer and nodded in satisfaction. "Heart rate is better. Vitals across the board are improved. What do you say we see if we can start weaning him from the vent?" he asked with an upraised eyebrow.

"Don't you think it's too soon?" Jamie asked in concern.

"If it is, his body will tell us. If he can't breathe on his own yet, we'll know quickly."

"Let's try it," Jamie said as he walked to Nelson's side and leaned down, telling him what to expect.

"Harry? Can you hear me? It's Jamie. I heard you were awake. Can you wake up for me?" he asked as he looked for any sign Nelson was going to oblige him but saw none. By now Betty Harrison had come in the room and Dr. Bradley was explaining to her that they were going to shut the vent off briefly to see if Nelson would take a breath on his own.

The two doctors and one nurse gathered close to Nelson. "All right, Harry. We're shutting off the ventilator that's been breathing for you. I want you to try to breathe on your own. It's all right if you can't right now. We'll turn it back on and try again in a little bit. But I want you to do your best. All right, Jon," Jamie said.

Bradley reached up and switched the ventilator off. Three pairs of eyes were trained on Nelson, hoping and praying his chest started to rise and fall on its own. For a few seconds there was nothing and their hearts began to sink. But then a few tentative breaths were taken and they broke out into broad smiles.

"All right, Admiral Nelson. That was very good," Bradley said after Nelson took a few more weak breaths on his own. "We're turning the ventilator back on now. We'll try again in a few hours. Hopefully, you'll be breathing on your own very soon. I'm sure there are a few people right outside your door that are going to be very happy to know you're coming back to us," Bradley said in satisfaction.

The machine started breathing again for Nelson as it was restarted and the mechanical hiss of air being forced into his lungs was heard again.

"Well, Jon?" Jamie asked.

"It's a good sign, Jamie. You know that. Who noticed his eyes being open?"

"Angie was in here reading to him. She said he opened his eyes and focused on her face. He seemed to know her and understood what she said to him."

"Let me go talk to her. Find out exactly what he did," he said as he strode from the room in search of Nelson's secretary.

Opening the door, he was accosted by four bodies, all asking if the admiral was all right and what had happened.

"Calm down!" Jamie said as they converged on the pair.

"Angie said the admiral woke up? Did he?" Lee asked excitedly. "Is he…?"

"Please, let me talk then you may ask all the questions you want," Bradley said. "Yes, Admiral Nelson regained consciousness briefly. We just had our first attempt at weaning him from the ventilator. He took a few breaths on his own but he's not ready to be off it completely yet. We'll continue to try every few hours until he can maintain proper oxygenation levels on his own. For right now, this is good. Now, Miss Wood, can you tell me what happened when you were in there with him?"

"I was reading to him, some scientific drivel. I was telling him he needed to wake up and refute all the crap I'd been reading to him. When I looked over at him, his eyes were open, barely. I looked into them but he didn't seem to be looking back. It was like he wasn't there."

"Like he was spaced out?" Jamie asked.

"Yes! Exactly. Anyway, I remembered what you said about him possibly being brain damaged and I guess I started to think he, you know wasn't really there."

"And what happened to change your mind?" Bradley asked.

Angie got quiet and looked away. "I…well I guess I got…emotional," she said quietly, obviously embarrassed. "All right…I started to cry. I was holding his hand and after a bit…well he squeezed my hand. Just barely but it was enough for me to look up. And then I saw the most wonderful sight I've seen in a long time! His eyes were open and looking right at me."

"You're sure he was looking at you?" Jamie asked.

"Yes I am. His lips kind of twitched, like he was smiling. Just a bit. I wanted to go get you Jamie but I was afraid he would slip away again. I decided, knowing the admiral, he'd want answers. So I told him what had happened to him and that _Seaview_ and the crew were fine. Then I asked him if he heard me and understood."

"And what did he do?" Bradley asked.

"He smiled and nodded. Just a short nod but it was enough. I knew that he'd heard me and understood," she finished with tears on her cheeks which she wiped away quickly.

"What does this mean, Jamie?"

Jamieson turned to the speaker. "It means he's fighting to come back to us, Edith," he said with a smile. "Once he's breathing on his own I think we'll see his condition begin to improve quickly. I hope."

"You hope? If he's awake and breathing on his own, what else is there?" Lee asked in concern.

Jamie shot a look to Bradley.

"Captain, we haven't tested anything yet. There may still be neurological issues. He may have vision problems or trouble with his memory or trouble maintaining focus or…well there are a lot of issues he may be facing, physical as well as mental or emotional. We just need to take it slow. For now, we need to be happy he was awake and breathed on his own for a bit," Bradley said.

"Can I see him?" Edith asked, her eyes begging the doctors to say yes.

"Of course," Bradley said. "Come. I'll walk in with you."

She started to walk away but stopped and turned back, holding her hand out to Lee, who smiled and took it, walking with her to her brother's room.

Together they entered Nelson's room and walked to his side. Edith took her brother's hand and leaned over him. "I heard you were awake and breathed on your own for a bit! I knew you would come back," she said, glancing back quickly to Crane, daring him to say otherwise. "Can you open your eyes for me? Please? I need to see you awake."

The minutes passed as she continued to call, begging him to wake up for her but Nelson's eyes stayed shut and she began to lose hope he would respond. But just when she had given up hope he would oblige her, his eyes flickered and then opened slightly. He blinked several times; attempting to focus on the smiling, tear streaked face leaning over him, his lips twitching slightly.

"Oh Harry! I…I can't believe you're awake," she whispered as Lee peered over her shoulder and smiled at his boss and friend.

"Welcome back, Admiral," he said softly clasping a hand gently on his shoulder to which Harry nodded slightly then tried to talk, a frown crossing his face when he couldn't.

"Don't try to speak, Admiral Nelson," Bradley said. "You have a tube down your throat to help you breathe. If you continue to improve, you'll be breathing on your own very soon."

Hearing a strange voice, Nelson turned his eyes to Bradley, confusion on his face.

"My name is Dr. Jon Bradley. I'm a neurologist and I've been helping Dr. Jamieson with your care. He's right outside with Mr. Morton and your secretary, Miss Wood. Do you understand what I've said to you?"

Nelson nodded slightly before turning back to his sister who was staring at him with tears in her eyes. He squeezed her hand that had a firm grip on his and winked at her which caused her to laugh.

"Oh Harry. I've missed you so. We all have," she said, as tears slid down her cheeks.

Nelson looked up at Lee, nodded slightly and then slipped back to sleep.

"Doctor Bradley," Lee said when he thought he could control the slight tremble in his voice. "When will we know…if there are any lingering problems?"

"Let's walk outside, shall we," he said nodding to Nelson before heading outside.

"I'm sorry, Captain. I didn't want him to hear my answer to your question," he said when they had left the room where Chip and Angie surged forth. "If he keeps improving as he has over the last few hours, he'll be off the vent soon. As for the lingering complications you asked about, we'll take it slowly, assessing his motor skills first before we attempt to gauge any cognitive impairment although that may be readily apparent."

"What do you mean, readily apparent," Edith asked in concern.

"If he finds it hard to answer simple questions, we'll know there has been damage. In Admiral Nelson's case, cognitive damage may not be apparent for some time, at least until he begins to return to a normal lifestyle and is back to work."

"How will we know?" Angie asked quietly.

"Oh, he may struggle to understand things that came easily to him before or he may forget certain events or he may not be as quick for a solution to a problem that would have been obvious to him before."

Seeing the crestfallen faces he saw arrayed before him, he hastily added, "Or he may be perfectly fine with no lingering effects from the head injury. What you must all understand is he has been comatose for a fairly long period of time. He in all likelihood won't be back to normal quickly. Time is what he needs. Time is what his _brain_ needs. We take it slowly and don't become frustrated if he isn't the old Admiral Nelson as quickly as we would wish."

The group nodded their understanding but their faces betrayed the fear they felt that even though the admiral had regained consciousness, no matter for how long, he may never be what he had been. What if the man they knew, the man the world knew, was gone? What if the brilliant mind they all accepted was his God-given gift, was gone? The thought chilled those that stood in a circle outside the man's room.

"Well, standing around here isn't doing anyone any good, is it?" Jamie asked. "Why don't we all get back to our jobs?"

"Yes. That is a very good idea," Bradley said.

"But…couldn't I sit with him? Talk to him?" Edith asked.

"I think what the admiral needs now is quiet," Bradley said. "He's fought his way back and has responded twice to us. What he needs now is healing sleep. It's late so I'd like him to be alone through the night. Tomorrow we will try to assess his condition."

~O~

Early the next morning, Edith slowly entered her brother's room, stopping in surprise for a moment when she saw Nurse Betty Harrison by his side adjusting an oxygen cannula in his nose.

"Ah, Edith!" she said warmly as she straightened from her position allowing Edith to see the vent tube had been replaced by the cannula.

"He's breathing on his own?" she asked in shock.

"Yes! He had a very good night. Respiratory therapy was up here a few times throughout the night giving him a few more therapy sessions that went very well. They finally weaned him completely from the vent just a few hours ago! So far he's breathing well and his oxygenation levels are staying up. I don't think he'll need to go back on the vent again," she said as she looked down fondly at her patient.

"How is he doing?" she asked as she moved closer to his bedside and put her things down on the chair by his side.

"He's dong fine. He managed to speak a bit. Claimed he wasn't in any pain but you know him. He was lying. After a few minutes, he slipped back to sleep and has been sleeping since."

"Can I sit with him?"

"Of course. If he wakes and does try to talk, don't be surprised at the way his voice sounds. It's going to sound hoarse because of the vent. Just give him some small sips of water. It should help any soreness he may have, also."

"Thank you, Betty," she said quietly. "Thank you for taking such good care of him."

"Well, I'd say it was my pleasure but it's hard to see him this way," she said staring at Nelson in sadness. "And once he gets his energy back, he's going to be hard to keep down. That's when he's going to become a pain. Always has been a bad patient."

"I forgot. You've known him for a long time, haven't you?"

"Yes, since shortly after World War 2. He was on some secret mission or other that didn't go well. Ended up in the hospital I was working at in Manila."

"He's been hurt so many times, I've lost count. So many times," she whispered as she stared at her brother, watching the steady rise and fall of his chest as he breathed on his own. Such a simple thing that they all took for granted.

"Well, I'll leave you alone. If you, or he, need anything I'm right outside. Don't hesitate to ask."

"Thank you, Betty," she said without turning her head from her brother.

How long she sat by his side, watching, waiting, praying she didn't know. The long nights and days waiting for good news had taken their toll on the young woman and she drifted into a deep sleep as she clung tightly to her brother's hand.

She wasn't sure what woke her but she gradually rose from the comfort of sleep, suddenly aware of an intermittent pressure on her hand and opened her eyes, smiling as she saw her brother staring at her with a slightly bemused expression on his face.

"Harry! Oh Harry! You're awake!"

"Edie," he croaked, stopping when he heard the unfamiliar voice that came from his throat.

"Easy Harry. They said your voice is going to be kind of hoarse for awhile after that tube that was down your throat."

Nelson nodded briefly. "Hurts," he managed to whisper.

"They said that was to be expected too," she said as she grabbed a glass of water with a straw in it and put it to her brother's mouth, watching as he took a few sips.

"Better?" she asked.

"Better," he croaked. "What…what happened to me?"

"You were hurt onboard _Seaview_."

"Accident?" he asked, his brow furrowed as he tried to remember.

"No," she said succinctly, not knowing how much she should tell him. Her brother's raised eyebrows told her he wasn't going to settle for that as an answer and she sighed heavily. "There was a bomb onboard. You tried to defuse it and something went wrong. You tried to get it off the ship, in the dive chamber I think and it exploded. You were hit by the hatch when the bomb went off. It broke a few ribs and your arm. It…also hit you in the head."

"Boat," he whispered hoarsely, smiling when he saw her look of frustration at the one thing he picked up on.

"Boat. All right? _Seaview_ is a boat, not a ship. Got it," she said with a sigh.

"_Seaview_? The crew?"

"_Seaview_ and her crew are just fine. Especially so now that you've finally come back to us. Your _boat_ is being repaired as we speak."

"You said bomb. Who…who planted it? Why?"

"I don't know. All I know is Lee said they found the person that planted it. I'm sure once he finds out you're awake and breathing on your own he'll be right down, along with Chip and Angie and the rest of your crew. They…we've all been pretty worried."

Smiling slightly, he nodded. "How…how long have I been here?"

"You were hurt onboard a few weeks ago. You were unconscious until yesterday," she said with a tremble in her voice which Nelson noticed.

"Weeks? I've…b…been out for w…weeks?"

"Yes. You were hurt pretty badly, Harry. Your skull was fractured where the hatch hit you. We didn't know if you would live," she said as tears ran down her face, the worry and stress of the past few weeks overwhelming her. "You…you weren't able to breathe on your own. You…you were on a ventilator. I…seeing you on that machine…I…"

"I'm sorry, Edie," he murmured, clutching her hand tighter, surprised it wasn't as tight as he thought it would be.

"I know, Harry. I'm sorry for crying. I just…I thought I had lost you."

"Never. I'm like a bad p…penny," he said with a slight smile.

"Yes, you are, aren't you? Never leave me. All right?" she whispered as she leaned over him and kissed him gently on the forehead.

"Not…not a chance," he muttered sleepily as he squeezed Edith's hand weakly again.

At that moment a commotion was heard outside the door.

"What…what's going on out there?' he asked, his words slurring slightly.

"I suspect, big brother, that people have heard that you're awake and breathing on your own. Should I see who's out there?"

Nelson nodded briefly, knowing his hold on consciousness was slipping but determined to remain awake a few minutes more. "If…if Angie's there, could you send her in alone?"

Edith nodded, confused at the request.

~O~

As Edith had promised, when news reached her brother's office that he was not only breathing on his own but was spending brief periods of time awake, there was a stampede of people to his door. Lee, Chip and Angie all converged on the room hoping to be allowed in to see him.

"Whoa," Jamie said as he met them in the hall. "What's the hurry?"

"The hurry is we heard he was awake and breathing on his own, Jamie," Lee said with a frown. "Can we see him?"

"Well, he is breathing on his own but I thought I sent you all home to sleep,"

"We did. At least I did. I don't know about them," Lee said looking at him with innocent eyes and gesturing to the two beside him.

"Uh huh. Well, Edith's in there right now."

"Have you done any testing?" Chip asked quietly.

"No not yet. He has short term memory loss for sure. He doesn't know what happened but he knows where he is and who I am. And Edith. Beyond that we don't know. Right now, he's breathing on his own and is alive. We need to be satisfied with that."

"Of course, Jamie," Angie said quietly. "It's just…"

"It's hard waiting?" he said finishing her thought. "I know Angie. We can't rush it. Or him."

With that, the door to Nelson's room opened and Edith, her face wreathed in a bright smile came out.

"Well?" Lee asked anxiously.

"He's awake and talking and breathing on his own," she said with tears in her eyes.

Sighs of relief met her words.

"Can we see him Jamie?" a chorus from Lee, Chip and Angie said.

"Well…"

"Actually Jamie, Harry said he wanted to see Angie alone for a minute. Is that all right?"

"Uh, sure," he said surprised. "No work related stuff however."

Angie, surprised at the request, nodded and headed for her boss's room. Walking quietly to his bedside, she was happy to see the ventilator had been replaced by a simple nasal cannula. She stared down for a moment at the apparently sleeping man and turned as if to go when she heard a soft "Angie?" and turned to see his eyes open and a smile on his lips.

"Admiral, it's so good to see you awake!"

"Thank you, Angie. I wanted to…s…s…say just one…one thing to you before the…the others come in," he said with sleep in his voice, frowning at the way he stumbled over his words.

"What is it, sir? Something I can get for you and don't even think about asking for work," she admonished.

A slight laugh met her words. "No…not up for that yet. Maybe…maybe tomorrow," he laughed.

"Then what is it, sir?"

Nelson struggled with forming the words he wanted to say and, pasting a severe look on his face said, "Anton Leffler? You…you read m…me Anton Leff…Leffler's th…theories?"

A smile split Angie's face as she knew all the hours spent talking to Nelson by everyone that had come into his room hadn't been in vain. "You heard us?" she asked as tears began to fall from her eyes.

His lopsided smile and brief chuckle was all she needed to hear. "I did. Load of…crap," he said weakly as he placed his hand on hers, surprised again by the weakness he felt in his grasp.

"I…I'm glad you…I…uh, Lee and Chip are just outside. If I keep monopolizing you they're going to be mad. Should I send them in?"

Nelson's nodded once and she turned to head for the door.

"Angie?" he whispered. "Thank you."

"You're welcome, sir," she said happily, looking back at Nelson with a big smile.

Opening the door she saw Lee and Chip pacing back and forth in front of the door, stopping when she came out.

"What did he want? Is he…?"

"Easy, Captain. Maybe what he said was personal," she said playfully.

"Personal? Well, I…uh… sorry, Angie. I didn't…"

Angie laughed happily. "All he wanted was to question our choice in reading material."

"What? He heard us?" Chip asked.

"Yep. Said it was a load of crap," she said smiling at the laughter that met her words.

"Well what are you two doing out here? Get on in there before he falls asleep," Angie said smiling as she saw the two _Seaview_ officers scurry into Nelson's room. Turning, she saw Edith, tears streaming down her cheeks, a smile lighting her tired features and she went to her, enveloping her in a big hug. "He's going to be fine. Just fine."

"I hope so, Angie. Oh, I hope so," she whispered.

Crane and Morton entered Nelson's room expecting to find him asleep but were surprised when his eyes flickered open and he fixed them with a slight smile. "Lee, Ch…Chip," he murmured.

"Admiral, how are you feeling?" Lee asked as he leaned over Nelson.

"If I s…said good, I'd be lying," he said softly, frowning as he heard his words slurring a bit.

"Well, I'd be surprised if you felt good," Chip said. "After what you've been through, you deserve to not feel yourself."

"That's…good to know. What…what have you two been up to other than…than r…reading me q…questionable material? Edie told me…about the…the bomb. _Seaview_ repaired yet?" he asked struggling to keep his eyes open.

"_Seaview's_ fine. So are the men. They're worried about you though," Lee said softly.

Nelson waved a hand weakly at them. "No need…for w…worry. I'll be out of here soon…soon as Jamie says I can go. Tell me…tell me what happened," he said, blinking his eyes constantly and squinting as if trying to clear them.

Lee wasn't sure Nelson was going to stay awake for the whole version, so he told him the abbreviated account of who had planted the bomb, why and how he had saved the ship.

Nelson shook his head in sadness. "I knew Derek was angry, unreasonable. But homi…homi…a killer…no," he said as his brow wrinkled in confusion.

Lee and Chip looked at each other in concern when Nelson fumbled for the right word, afraid Jamie may have been right when he said there may be consequences to the head injury.

"He wanted us to suffer the same fate as his brother," Chip said. "Asphyxiation."

"Hard…hard to…to b…believe he…"

"Admiral, I think maybe you should get some sleep," Lee said as he placed a soft hand on his shoulder and squeezed as he watched Nelson struggle to keep his eyes open. "You look as though you're having trouble staying awake."

"Lee's right, sir. Jamie will make sure we don't get in to see you again any time soon if we set your recovery back," Chip said with a slight smile.

"I…I am tired but there was something…something I wanted to say but…I can't remember what it was," he said as he gave up trying to stay awake and slid back down into the welcome comfort of sleep as Lee and Chip stared down in concern at him for a moment then each other before leaving the room.

Pasting bright smiles on their faces as they left the room to hide their worry, Lee and Chip were converged on quickly by Edith and Angie. "He looked good, didn't he?" Edith asked.

"Yes, yes he did," Lee said.

"Can I go back in, Jamie?" Edith asked.

"He's sleeping, Edith," Lee said carefully.

"I won't bother him. I just want to be there for him. In case he wakes up and needs anything," she said looking hopefully at Jamie.

"For a bit. I want you to get some sleep. And don't tell me you have been. I can see in your eyes that you haven't."

"Later," she said as she slipped back into her brother's room.

"I have a lot of stuff I need to catch up on at the office," Angie said. "If…if he needs anything or…or something happens, call me? I can be here in five minutes. Give or take a minute."

Smiling Jamie watched as one of the group left to do something productive. He turned back and noticed the other two members of the group's concerned looks. "What's wrong with you two?"

"Jamie, you said you haven't tested anything with the admiral, yet right?" Lee asked quietly.

"Not really. He just got off the respirator a few hours ago. We wanted him to sleep and adjust a bit. Why?"

Lee looked uncomfortably at Jamieson. "When we were in there, his words seemed slurred, like he'd had one too many. He fumbled for the right word once then settled for another and he kept blinking his eyes like he was having trouble seeing us. Does…well, does that mean…"

"Lee, he only just woke up from a coma! A coma that lasted for two weeks! Of course he's going to be out of it. And as for the slurring, he's probably tired and struggling to stay awake. You know how he doesn't like to miss out on things."

"Are you sure that's all it is?" Lee asked, still worried.

"No, of course I'm not sure. As I said, I haven't tested anything yet. Give it time. This isn't going to be a simple process. It's going to take time to fully assess his abilities or his deficiencies."

"All right, Jamie. I just…when he started struggling to talk…"

"I know. I know but let's not jump to conclusions. Yesterday he was still in a coma and on the vent. Today, he's awake, he's alert, he's talking and he's breathing on his own. That's what we focus on. Not what may be down the road."


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

Over the next few days, Nelson began a series of tests determining the extent of the damage done by the head injury. Although the immediate results weren't what the man hoped for, they weren't as bad as what could have been. A slurring to his words along with a slight weakness on his right side, a persistent blurring of his vision and a near constant headache were the major issues facing Nelson. The prognosis was that these effects of the injury would either correct themselves over time or be aided by physical or speech therapy; something Nelson, who longed to be up and about, was loath to consider. Cognitively the results wouldn't be readily apparent until he returned to the work he loved which, if Jamieson had anything to say about it, wouldn't be for several more weeks.

Nelson had no memory of the bomb or of the explosion but he did recall the cruise, its mission and results which slightly mollified Nelson. The thought was the admiral didn't really need to remember the bomb or what had happened. He knew faces, he recognized staff members and crew that visited and, strangely enough, remembered conversations as well as words spoken to him while in the coma giving credence to the knowledge comatose patients could hear and feel. When shown pictures taken by Patterson of his crew on the day he was taken from the sub to the Med Bay, he was humbled to know the extent his crew cared about him.

~O~

A few days after Nelson had come back to them from his coma, Lee entered his room to find the man sitting up in his bed arguing with Jamie.

"I know I've just come out of a coma, J…Jamie. I know I could have d…died and I know I need to take it s…slowly…but I've been in this bed or the one on _Seaview_ for… for too long! I need to…to…to do s…s…something!"

"You are doing something, Admiral! It's called healing. We've had this particular discussion many times before. You need rest. Your brain needs rest."

"I would think my brain is…is well rested as I haven't been a…allowed to do or think anything for over two weeks. Didn't even have to think about…about breathing as your machine did that…"

"Harry! Not only did you almost die, but your brain suffered a serious injury! You're NOT healed and you're NOT ready for anything other than light physical therapy. No reading material. No reports. Nothing except rest. That's it."

Seeing Lee standing off to the side with an annoyed look on his face, Nelson turned to the newest arrival. "Lee! Tell him…"

"No, Admiral. I will not tell him anything. He's right. If it was Chip or me in that bed just having come out of a coma that you thought would be a permanent state for either of us, you'd be agreeing with what Jamie is saying right now. No. I won't listen," he continued as Nelson raised a finger weakly to make a point. "I won't go through what we did again. Not if we can do anything to prevent it."

Jamie and Lee watched as Nelson stared at the two of them for a moment in speculation before sinking back against the pillows behind him and closing his eyes, seemingly acquiescing. "Fine," he said in a quiet voice.

"Harry," Jamie said as he walked to Nelson's bedside. "Give it time. We don't even know for sure what all the ramifications of the injury are. I don't want to risk your life…anyone's life. Think of me if not you. If I say go ahead and get back to your old work habits and…something happens, you know what I would feel?"

"Yes, Jamie. I'll lay here like a good patient," he said as he rubbed a shaking hand over his brow.

"Headache?"

"Always, Jamie," he said tiredly

"I'll bring you something to help," he said as he laid a hand on Nelson's shoulder. "I'll be right back."

Lee waited until Jamie had left before walking slowly to Nelson's side and stared own at him in worry, concerned the admiral had given up his fight so abruptly. "You all right?"

"Apparently not," Nelson said dispiritedly, opening his eyes and gazing at his young friend with a slight smile.

"What was it you asked Jamie to do?"

"All I asked him was…was to let me look over s…s…some reports! Damn! I can't even…even s…speak right!"

"That's all?" Lee asked, quirking an eyebrow at Nelson, trying to ignore the way his friend stumbled over some words and slurred others. "Some reports?"

"Yes! That's…all."

"I think that's called work, sir. I would think with the way you're feeling you would rather just sleep or rest."

"And how do you…you know how I'm feeling?" Nelson asked in a quiet pain-filled voice.

"You're in pain. It doesn't take an M.D. behind my name to know that. I see it in your eyes. And you're tired. That I can hear in your words."

Nelson sighed heavily and looked towards the window across the room. "Can't even see outside. Can't see…see the…the ocean. Or…s…smell it."

"Soon, Admiral. One day at a time."

"Yes, yes, yes. One day…day…at…"

With a sad smile Lee watched as Nelson's eyes flickered closed and his breathing evened out as he sank into a deep sleep.

Not taking his eyes from Nelson, Lee heard Jamie come back in, a syringe in his hand. "He went to sleep," Lee said, unnecessarily.

"It's what he needs, Lee."

"I know," he said softly as he watched Nelson sleep. "He just seems to spend so much time asleep."

"That's part of the injury. Sleepiness is just another effect, like the short term memory loss and his speech."

"It's just so hard to see him…not himself. In pain. To not know what…what's ahead for him," Lee said softly so as to not wake Nelson.

"It's going to take time. Sleeping a lot is the body's way of healing, whether he likes it or not."

"What's next for him?" he asked as he looked away from Nelson to Jamie.

"Well, tomorrow I thought we'd start some light physical therapy on his right side."

"What will that entail?"

"Oh, tomorrow will probably be just moving the limbs and assessing how much weakness there is. Walking on his own right now isn't something I want to let him try until we know how much weakness there is, but that will be up to his physical therapist. If she feels he's up for it, she may get him out of bed. The last thing he needs is a fall. We'll probably get him in a wheelchair and let him sit outside for a bit soon. Maybe that will quell some of that depression we're seeing. After that, we'll gradually get him walking on his own, use strength training on his arms and legs to get back his strength. Speech therapy may or may not be needed. Mostly right now, we're seeing the slurring or the fumbling for words when he's tired as you saw today. He was actually forming very good sentences before you got here in his attempt to let him have something to read."

"You think he _will_ get back his mobility and…and whatever else he's lost?"

Silence met Lee's question and for a time Jamie just stared down at Nelson, causing fear to flare again in Lee. "The muscle weakness itself isn't severe. Just need to get the synapses in his brain to cooperate again so to speak. Fine motor skills will improve over time. I'm certain he will recover his speech. In time. He really is very lucky. It could have been so much worse than it is."

"Yeah. I know. But he's always been lucky. What about…cognitively? How long until we know if…if…"

"If he's the same admiral capable of incredible thought processes?" Jamie asked with a slight smile.

Lee laughed slightly. "Yeah, something like that."

"Not sure. We may never really know how much he's lost, if anything, until he's faced with a serious problem."

Lee shook his head sadly, knowing it wasn't what any of them wanted to hear. How many times had the fate of the crew, or the world for that matter, rested on what the man before him could conceive, create, manufacture to save them? What if he never…? No. No more what ifs. Time would tell. It was just the waiting that would kill them.

"Since he's sleeping, I guess I'll head back to the office and help Angie and Edith out. The work kind of piled up lately," he said softly as he turned away.

"Lee? Don't give up hope. My money's on him," he said as he gestured to the sleeping man before him. "Give him time. It's what he needs."

"Thanks, Jamie. I'll be back."

Lee left the Med Bay and walked slowly back towards the Institute offices, his thoughts centered on the man he'd left behind. Deciding he didn't want to be inside right now or around people, he stopped at a bench that overlooked the Pacific lapping at the shore below and threw himself into it.

They'd come so close to losing him. The memory of seeing him die on the Missile Room floor haunted him. What would he do if…when…that eventuality came? How would he handle losing the man that had become closer to him than a brother? He felt so many things for Nelson…respect, admiration, gratitude…love. The thought of him not being there someday filled him with dread. The thought of Nelson not being what he had been filled him with a deep fear. He knew what that would mean to the man that lay asleep behind him and his heart ached. Surely, he couldn't have survived the bomb only to have part of him not come back. He shook his head slowly as he dwelled on the thought. He couldn't.

How long he sat there, musing he wasn't certain but the shadows of late morning had shifted to early afternoon when he felt someone sit by his side and he turned to look beside him.

"Chief," he acknowledged the man's appearance briefly.

"Skipper. I…uh was wondering how the admiral's doing. You look like the answer might not be what me and the crew wanna hear."

"He's getting better, Chief. Stronger."

"Just…not as fast as he'd like, eh?"

Lee laughed slightly. "Something like that. He wants work brought to him. Can you believe that? He's only been out of the coma for a few days and he's already asking for work."

"Well, pardon me for saying it but…that's the admiral for you. He don't let moss grow under his feet, as my grandpa used to say. Same goes for his brain I guess. I think I'd be more worried if he just laid there and let people take care of him. That ain't his way, sir. He wants back what he lost and he wants it now."

"But what if he lost more than he…"

"Skipper, did Doc say he wasn't going to be himself again for sure?"

"No," Lee said quietly. "He said he needs time. Then we see."

"Well, then, I say let's just not jump to conclusions. I mean, he's the admiral. I don't think what he went through…what happened to him… is going to change who and what he is. We just gotta give him time. Just…wait…and not give up hope."

"Thanks, Chief," Lee said glancing at Sharkey who stared out at the ocean below.

"It's nothing, sir. I'd…I'd do anything I could for the admiral. The crew would do anything for him."

"Yeah. I know."

"Well, I best get down to the _Seaview_. Those ratings down there may need an incentive to get their work done," he said as he rose and started to walk away.

"Don't be too hard on them, Chief. We need a full crew next time we go out," Lee joked.

"Well, if they can't take a little yelling they don't belong on the _Seaview,_ sir. Pardon me for saying it," he said with a slight grin.

Lee watched with a little smile as Sharkey sauntered down toward the sub pen. Deciding he'd spent enough time daydreaming about what ifs, he got up and headed back to the office where he was greeted by a flurry of activity.

"Lee!" Angie said as she spotted him entering. "How's the admiral? You were up there a long time."

"Yes, you were. Did he stay awake that whole time?" Edith asked hopefully as she came from her brother's office to stand by Angie's desk, folders in her hand.

"No, he…pretty much fell asleep shortly after I got there," he said, regretting he had to squash their hopes he was spending more time awake. "He and Jamie were having a…discussion when I got there."

"A discussion? What was it Harry wanted that Jamie wouldn't let him have?" Edith asked, frowning.

Lee sighed heavily and glanced quickly to Angie before answering. "He wanted work."

"Work? Work! Doesn't he understand he isn't ready for work? Doesn't he know he almost died? He only just woke up from…from…"

"Edith, all he knows is he's trapped in a place he hates being in having people take care of him while other people do his work."

"But it's what he needs."

"Yes, but he wants what he wants. Now," Lee said with a slight smile.

"When I was up there earlier this morning, he looked so sad when I walked in," Angie said. "Kept staring out the window. Not that he could see much. You know those windows should be floor to ceiling. Then whoever is in bed could see out."

"Well, Doc said they may try to get him out of bed tomorrow. Do some physical therapy. Maybe get him in a wheelchair and get him outside for a bit."

"That'll be good for him," Edith said slowly.

"It will be," Lee said as he walked to her and put his hands on her shoulders forcing her to look up at him. "He's going to be fine, Edith. Believe it. OK?"

"OK. Now, I really need some help with the notes Harry made on these reports before…before… from the last cruise. I'm having trouble reading what he wrote."

"Come on. Let me see if I can make them out," Lee said as he went into the office with her, glad for the distraction.

~O~

The next day, Harry was greeted early in the morning by an energetic young physical therapist by the name of Jill Ruiz. Short brown hair, hazel eyes and all of five foot four, she entered Nelson's room as if he was as eager to begin as she was.

"Admiral Nelson, my name is Jill Ruiz," she said holding out her hand to him and shaking his briefly. "I'm going to be assessing your muscle strength today. Are you ready to get out of that bed?" she asked in, what Nelson thought of as a way-too-perky attitude especially considering it was barely 0800 and he'd yet to have caffeine in any form since he'd come out of the coma. Or during the coma for that matter which, in his mind, added up to a sizeable amount of time without it.

Nelson stared at her for a minute, weighing how much strength she could possibly have in the spindly arms he saw emerging from her short, white coat.

"You going to do that alone?" he asked with eyebrows raised and a slight grin.

"For the time being. My assistant will be here in a few minutes to help with getting you out of that bed. All I want to do right now is get you sitting on the side of the bed where I can compare strengths in both sides."

"And then?"

"And then, once Vince gets here, we get you up and see how you do walking.

"Sounds exciting," he said grumpily as he pushed himself up, grimacing as his ribs protested.

"Now, Admiral Nelson, I've been warned you may be a difficult patient, but if you want to get back to what you love doing, you'll cooperate. Or you will be in that bed for the foreseeable future. Do you understand me, sir?" she asked in a hard tone.

Nelson glanced up in mild surprise and stared at the petite therapist before him and broke out into a hardy laugh. "Yes, Miss Ruiz. I most certainly do understand you," he said as he threw the blankets back from his legs, glad he was clad appropriately in hospital pants and not the dreaded gown he had been in.

For the next few minutes, Jill assessed the admiral's reflexes and strength in both sides, the cast on the left arm complicating matters a bit, and made copious notes. A half hour of that had Nelson quite bored and wishing they would get on to something more challenging. He was desperately hoping a short walk was next on the therapist's list because that was next on his.

Almost as that thought passed through his mind, the door opened to reveal Dr. Jamieson followed by the biggest, well muscled man he'd seen in a long time.

"Admiral," Jamie said as he walked into the room. "How are you doing this morning?"

"I'm just fine. Enjoying the attention of this lovely young lady here and hoping that getting to my feet might actually be next on her list of things to do."

"Admiral, I think perhaps we've done enough for today," Jill said with a frown.

"_We_ haven't done anything. You've done the t…testing. I'm just sitting here," he said with a slight smile.

After a moment's contemplation she nodded. "All right. Admiral, this is Vince Carter. Vince is going to be helping you out of that bed. Now, you let him do the work. Once you're on your feet, we'll see how you're feeling. Got it?"

At Nelson's brief nod, she turned to her assistant. "Vince, will you help the admiral to stand?"

Vince came over to Nelson and gently grabbed him under the arms and eased him from the bed and to his feet where he continued to maintain a strong hold. "Let me do the work, sir," he murmured as he felt Nelson try to pull away and stand on his own.

"How do you feel, sir?" Jill asked.

"I feel good," he whispered. "I…I'm just fine."

"Uh huh. Any dizziness?"

"No," he answered firmly.

"Harry?" Jamie said in a low tone. "Lying isn't really helpful."

"I'm a bit dizzy. But only a bit. Give me a minute."

"One minute. If it doesn't pass, it's back to bed," Jill said quietly.

When thankfully the dizziness faded, Vince relaxed his hold on Nelson who wobbled for a second but straightened and smiled. "Funny how the simple act of s…standing upright can feel s…so good," he said softly.

"It is. Now let's try a few steps," Jill said smiling at her patient.

Nodding, Nelson, with Vince holding his good arm loosely, walked a few steps away then tried to turn and head back but his right leg gave out and he almost fell. Vince grabbed him easily and tightened his hold. "All right, sir?" he asked. After a moment, Nelson nodded, clearly frustrated at almost falling and continued his trek back to his bed.

"Well, that was excellent for the first time in almost three weeks, sir," Jill said brightly. "Let's get you back into bed."

Vince guided Nelson back to bed and helped him sit on the edge, grabbed his legs and carefully lifted them back onto the bed before covering him.

"Thank you, Mr. Carter," he said quietly.

"It's Vince, sir. Just Vince. And it was my pleasure," he said as he stepped back and fixed Nelson with a smile.

"It really was a good session, Admiral," Jill said. "Each day will get better. I promise. Get some rest and I'll try to come back later today and we'll see if you're up for another session. All right?"

"Yes, Miss Ruiz. Later," he said without looking up.

With a quick glance to Jamieson, the two left their patient and headed out the door.

"Harry," Jamie said, waiting until the man looked at hm. "It _was_ a good session. Believe that. You walked."

"Barely. If Vince hadn't been there I would have fallen flat on my face. And if you tell me to give it time, I'll find something to throw at you," he said pointing a finger at him.

"I won't," he said holding his hands up in front of him. "What I want you to do now is get some rest. You're exhausted."

"Yes, I am," he said sleepily. "Walked a few feet and now I need a nap."

"Harry," he said in warning. "It _will_ get better. I promise. Close your eyes and sleep. Rest up in case Miss Ruiz decides she hasn't had enough of you today and comes back for round two."

Nelson smiled weakly, lay back against the pillows and promptly fell asleep.

~O~

A few hours later, Nelson awoke to see Lee sitting by his side once more, intently reading something, a frown on his face.

"Don't you have anything better to do than sit here watching me sleep, Captain?" he asked quietly.

"I am doing something more than watching you sleep, sir. I'm reading this report on the…"

"On the…what?"

"Oh, it's nothing," he said as he closed the folder and put it on the floor.

"Lee?"

"It's just a report on the last mission."

"Hmmm, wish I could read that. Especially the part that's a bit fuzzy," Nelson said trying unsuccessfully to stifle a yawn. How could he still be tired? By the shadows in the room, he knew he had to have been asleep for a few hours.

"You wrote most of it, sir. The rest…isn't anything you need to concern yourself with."

"Perhaps," he sighed. "I just don't know how I could have missed it."

"Missed it? Missed what?" Lee asked confused.

"How could I have not seen that Sandberg was Derek Howard? I…I scrutinize every candidate for the crew."

"Admiral, Derek Howard was insane. He went to great lengths to make sure we didn't know who he was. If Angie hadn't requested a photo sent from Jack Sandberg's last job, we might still never have known who he was."

"Just such a waste," Nelson whispered.

"Yes, it is."

"How are things at the Institute? And don't tell me to not worry. Not knowing makes me worry."

"Well, things are going fairly well. We're catching up in the areas we let slack off while we waited…while you were unconscious."

"So, the rumors of my indispensability are exaggerated?"

"Not at all! It's only taking me reading reports you would be going over, Chip handling the meetings you would attend and keeping various people informed of your progress, and Edith, Angie and a few other secretaries doing correspondences and such that you would be doing. So, it's only about eight of us doing the work you normally do."

Nelson frowned as he listened to Lee, concerned so many people were being put out by his condition.

"Just keeping things going until you get out of here and back to work, sir," he said softly, knowing Nelson's thoughts.

"_If_ I get back," Nelson said quietly.

"Sir? What?"

"Nothing, Lee. Nothing," Nelson said, quickly.

"Say, I heard you had your first therapy session today. How did it go?" Lee asked trying to change the subject.

"I'm sure you and Edith have already talked to Jamie and already know the answer to that," he said testily. "I just about fell flat on my face."

"Well, what I heard was you walked. As for the rest…"

His sentence was interrupted by the door to Nelson's room opening and Jill Ruiz, a big smile plastered on her face, walked through with Vince on her heels.

"Admiral! I heard you had a nice nap and since I had nothing to occupy my time for the next hour, thought I would see if you'd like to try some more walking?"

"Nothing would make me happier, Miss Ruiz. Oh, this is Captain Lee Crane. Lee this is Jill Ruiz and Vince Carter, my therapists," he said simply.

"Miss Ruiz, Mr. Carter. Don't let him get to you. He's really a teddy bear," he said with a wink at Jill and a huge smile to Nelson.

"D…don't you have my Institute to run, Captain?" Nelson said with a glare.

"Yes, I do. I'll be back later," he said as he smiled at his friend. "Maybe in time for dinner."

"If you can find s…something better than what they've been…been giving me to eat, bring it with you."

Lee laughed, knowing the food Nelson was reduced to eating wasn't anything like what the man normally consumed.

"I'll see what I can do. You behave," he said as he leaned closer to his friend.

"Yes, Captain. Contrary to popular belief, I'm not an…an ogre. Get out of here," he said with a slight smile.

"Well, Admiral. Let's see if you can walk farther than this morning," Jill said as she and Vince helped Nelson from the bed.

After a half hour of muscle training to strengthen his weak right side and a few short turns around the room, Vince disappeared out the door to return with a wheelchair.

"What's that for?" Nelson asked grumpily.

"I thought you might like to get out of here for a bit."

Nelson stared at her in speculation for a moment then to the wheelchair in question and sighed. "Getting out of here would be lovely, Miss Ruiz."

Vince helped the admiral into the wheelchair and pushed him slowly out the door and down the hallway to the open veranda that fronted this wing of the Med Bay that mostly held rooms the command staff utilized, sometimes much too frequently.

"Help me up, Mr. Carter," Nelson said softly as soon as they had entered the veranda.

"I don't think that's a good idea, Admiral," Jill said. "You've had two therapy sessions and…"

"I…I just want to see her for a minute," he said so softly, she had to lean down to hear him. "I just want to see my sub for a minute. Just for a minute."

Jill nodded and Vince helped him to his feet and guided him to the railing that overlooked the sub pen. A small smile creased his face as he saw _Seaview_ bobbing in the light current below. When the Institute had first been created, he'd designed an underwater sub pen for his _Seaview_. Although the underground pen was still utilized, there were increasingly frequent times when she was moored at the pen visible from the windows that fronted this part of the Institute: something he was very happy about at this moment.

"She's all right," he murmured. "They weren't lying."

"Why would they lie to you about that, Admiral?"

Nelson snorted and turned to her. "To keep me from worrying. I…I don't remember the bomb at all but from what I've heard from various members of the crew, it was very sophisticated," he said turning back to the view. "If only I thought about there being a secondary trigger. I might have…"

"Admiral?" Jill asked in concern when he stopped what he was saying.

"I…remembered…about the secondary trigger," he said, his brow furrowed. "The bomb was…was interlaced with the…the various systems of the boat. I…thought I had defused it. Secondary trigger restarted the countdown. I knew I couldn't defuse it in time."

"What did you do then?" Jill asked, knowing he hadn't been able to remember anything that had happened.

"I…had to get it off the boat. I took it…some place. Where?" he asked himself, closing his eyes as if he could see it. "The Missile Room. I…took it to the Missile Room. The…the dive chamber. It exploded. I…I remember thinking I had been too late. That I had killed everyone on board."

Suddenly Nelson's legs gave out and Vince caught him easily and half carried him back to the chair and placed him in it tenderly.

"That was good, Admiral," Jill said, kneeling by his side and placing a hand on his arm. "You remembered."

Nelson nodded before looking down into her eyes and smiled. "Yes, I…I did. Thank you, Miss Ruiz, Vince."

"You're welcome, Admiral. And please call me Jill. Now, I think that's enough excitement for today. Let's get you back to your room and a little rest."

Vince pushed Nelson down the hall to his room stopping as they saw Dr. Jamieson and Dr. Bradley outside his room.

"Ah! There you are," Bradley said with a smile. "Enjoying some time out of your room, Admiral?"

"Yes, Doctor. Enjoyed it immensely," he said with a huge grin. "A little too short but…"

"Next time Admiral, it will be longer," Jill said with a light touch on his shoulder. "For now, let's get you back into bed."

"Really? Back in bed? How about a chair?" he asked with a hopeful look on his face which his doctors quickly took away.

"Not yet, Harry. Baby steps. There's no need to rush things." Jamie admonished.

"Rush things!" Nelson said harshly as Vince wheeled him back into his room and helped him back into bed. "I hardly think sitting in a chair is any different than sitting in this bed."

"Well, it is so lay back and rest," Jamie said. "Two therapy sessions in one day is one more than I thought you would have today."

"Dr. Jamieson is right, Admiral. I know you don't think so but you're making wonderful progress," Bradley said with a smile. "We wouldn't want to have a relapse now would we?"

Nelson snorted and laid his head back against the pillows, not willing to admit to them, or himself, that the therapy session had tired him out. But he had seen his _Seaview_ with his own eyes and saw she was all right. He had to be thankful for that, he supposed. And he had remembered the bomb. Another piece to the puzzle of the last three weeks had been found.

"I'll have to take your word for it, Dr. Bradley."

"Admiral, I think Vince and I will let you get some sleep," Jill said.

"Thank you, Miss…Jill, Vince. Perhaps you can fill them in on what I managed to…remember," he said cursing to himself as he felt the overwhelming pull of sleep once more and sank into its arms.

"Remembered?" Jamie asked with a quirked eye brow.

"Yes, he saw _Seaview_ at her berth and he remembered the bomb. He remembered something about a secondary trigger and the Missile Room. Does that make sense?"

"Yes, it does," Jamie said with a smile. He'd thought Nelson would never remember the bomb or what had happened but he should have known better.

"That's very good, Jamie," Bradley said. "Very encouraging."

"Yes, it is. If only we could get him to believe it's a good thing."


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

Nelson woke from his nap a few hours later to see Edith perched on a chair by his bed, her head propped on one hand and her feet curled under her as she read from a rather large book. He surreptitiously watched her noting the shadows under her normally bright blue eyes and the lines of worry that creased her brow.

He must have moaned or made a slight sound as her eyes shot up from her book to his eyes.

"You're awake!"

"Yes, I am. What are you reading?"

"Oh, just some art history book. Not anything that's your cup of tea, big brother," she said as she rose and leaned over him.

"Got any good books in there?" he asked, nodding to the large bag on the floor by her chair.

"Nope. And even if I did, I wouldn't give one to you. I'm not taking any chances with your health. I care about you too much."

"You look tired, Edie. You're pushing yourself."

"Hmm, you mean the way you do? Seriously, I don't know how you do all that you do in one day. It's taking six of us just to keep our heads above the paperwork and phone calls!"

"I love what I do and who I do it with," he said as he reached a hand out to brush a strand of hair back from his sister's face. "That makes it easy. But you shouldn't push yourself. It's not important."

"Oh, I'm just not sleeping well," she said with a wave of her hand. "It's too quiet at your house. No street noise, no sirens."

"That's why I like it," Harry said with a small smile.

"Well, it's not what I'm used to. However, I can't complain about that view! You chose a perfect spot to build your house."

"It is a beautiful view," Harry said nodding. "Can't wait to see it again. Soon."

"You will. Right now, you need to be here."

"Yes, I suppose. Did you hear about my wonderful marathon?" he asked with a smirk.

"Yes! Jamie called the office to tell us you'd had two therapy sessions and had walked a bit."

"Yep. Walked all the way from here to waaay over there," he said pointing to the door. "Didn't fall once."

"Harry, I know it doesn't seem like much, but it is. Just a few days ago, we didn't know if…"

"If?" Nelson asked softly when she didn't continue.

"A few days ago we didn't know if you would ever wake up. We didn't know if you would ever be the man we know and, some of us love."

"Only some, Edie?" he asked with a twitch of his lips.

"Yes, some," she answered with a squeeze on his shoulder. "There was the very real possibility that you…that you would be a…"

"A vegetable?" he asked softly after a moment when she seemed unable to say it.

"Yes. We were pretty scared, Harry. Even if you woke up and knew where you were and who you were, there was the chance you wouldn't be able to walk, or see, or…think the way you're used to. The way we're used to. So you may have only walked across the room, but it's really a wonderful thing."

"It's just so slow, Edie. To me," he added before she had a chance to berate him.

"I know. But you walked today! And Jamie said you remembered what happened on _Seaview_ with the…the bomb! That's wonderful! And your speech is so much better than yesterday. It's hardly slurred at all. Jamie said you may not need speech therapy if you continue to improve on your own!"

Nelson was silent for a minute as he watched his little sister, dab at her eyes and knew he'd been a fool. "I'm sorry, Edie," he said as he reached a hand up to caress her cheek. "It's just hard to sit around."

"But it's what you're going to do, isn't it? Follow Jamie and Jon's instructions?"

"Jon, huh? Since when is he Jon?" he asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Since…well, never mind."

Before Nelson had a chance to inquire any more about Jon, the door opened and Lee, carrying two dinner trays, entered the room.

"What do you have there, Lee?" Nelson asked.

"Dinner! I told you I'd be back in time for dinner. Well, it's dinner time."

"Well, I should leave you two alone. I imagine you have a lot to talk about," Edith said leaning down and giving her brother a quick kiss on the cheek. "I'll be back tomorrow. Behave."

"Why does everyone tell me that?" Nelson asked with a frown. "I'd rather you stayed and we talked about Jon."

"I wouldn't," Edith said with a smile. "Eat your dinner no matter what it is and I'll see you tomorrow. Lee, you make sure he eats something."

"Yes, ma'am. I plan on it," Lee said with a big smile as Edith pointed a finger at Nelson and smiled before heading out the door.

Nelson turned his eyes to Lee who smiled back at him. "I heard you remembered about the bomb."

"As soon as I saw _Seaview_ it came back. At least I think it all came back."

"Well, it doesn't really matter. What matters is getting you better and out of here."

"Personally, I'm up for the out of here part right now."

"Not yet, Admiral. You…"

"I know, I know, Lee. Take it easy. Take it slowly…I know," he said sadly.

"I thought you might like to eat dinner with me tonight. Maybe catch up on a few things."

"Such as?"

"I've been given permission to talk about a few business related things so once you eat up, we can talk."

"And just what lovely culinary delicacies am I having tonight?"

Lee placed Nelson's tray on a table and pushed it over to him. With a flourish he took the lid off and both men stared down at what lay on the plate before them.

"Looks good, Admiral," Lee said unconvincingly as Nelson wrinkled his nose.

"What is it?"

"I…I don't really know," Lee said sadly.

"Why are you looking so sad?" Nelson asked. "_I'm_ the one that's supposed to eat…that."

"Well, Jamie told me you hadn't been eating so I…kind of told them to give me the same thing you had," he said as he took the lid off his own plate and stared down at it.

"Why did you do something as stupid as that?"

"I…thought if you saw me eat it, you would, too."

Nelson snorted. "Sounds like a plan you didn't put much thought into, Lee," he said as he picked up a fork and poked at what he thought was meat, before looking up at Lee with a sparkle in his eye. "You know, you're not a captive here. You could go get us some real food. I'll wait right here."

"I don't think that's a good idea," Lee said as he looked forlornly at his meal. "I want you out of here as soon as possible. I'm not going to take a chance eating real food will be detrimental."

Sighing loudly, Nelson forked a bit of whatever was on his plate up and put it in his mouth, his face screwed up in disgust for a moment.

"What was it?" Lee asked, anxiously.

"I…I think it was meat but it may have been potato."

"Was it good?" Lee asked hopefully.

He was just about to tell him what he really thought of it when an impish smile came over his face and he said, "Yes. It was actually very good. Try it."

"I'm not sure I trust you," he said but scooped a spoonful up and ate it quickly. "Wow, it is good!

"You've never been a good liar, Lee," Nelson said shaking his head as he ate a bit more of the dinner. If Lee was willing to go to such lengths to get him to eat, he must be desperate and he didn't want to disappoint him.

A few mouthfuls later, Nelson put his fork down and pushed the tray away. "That's it. I'm done."

"Not bad, Admiral. Jamie will be pleased."

"Well, that's good to know, Lee. It's what I live for. So tell me what it is you've been approved to talk to me about," Nelson said as he turned his eyes to his young friend in speculation.

"Well, it's just about a few of the proposals for the new computer upgrades. Chip wanted your input on them before he went ahead with them."

Nelson smiled as he knew Chip was more than capable when it came to the computers but was happy to be able to put his mind to work assessing quickly what Chip needed. At least it seemed that part of his brain still functioned and for that he was grateful.

The two talked for awhile about the upgrades as well as a few other rather minor issues before Lee noticed Nelson struggling to stay awake.

"Well, I guess I should get out of here," he said as he tapped Nelson gently on the leg and rose from his seat. "You need some sleep. I'll be back tomorrow."

"All right, Lee. I am tired," he said with a muffled yawn.

"Then sleep," he said as he gathered up the trays and looked down at Nelson whose eyes had already closed.

"Good night, Admiral," he whispered.

~O~

Over the next ten days, Nelson progressed fairly quickly in his recovery. His therapy continued throughout that time with two or three sessions a day until the weakness on the right side was only noticeable at times of stress or tiredness. The slurring had become only evident when he was at the limits of his strength. More and more, Nelson was getting back to the man he had been before the bomb much to the relief of his friends, family and crew. His ribs had healed to the point they were only painful when he moved too quickly while his left arm was still a few weeks away from being cast free. The headaches still plagued him and there were days when the meds did little to alleviate the pain. Still forbidden to do anything remotely considered work by his medical team, Nelson's moods were sometimes volatile as he longed to take up where he had left off in his work and research. Still unknown was if he would even be able to do the research and work he had made his life long passion. The big question remained: was there damage to his brain that only time would tell?

Finally, Nelson was given the green light to leave, much to the relief of everyone. On the day of his discharge, Jamie met him in his room intending to go over what he was and was not allowed to do once he was out from under the protective eyes of his doctors and nurses.

"I want you to take it easy, Admiral," Jamie said in a severe tone. "No work of any kind for the foreseeable future."

"Jamie…"

"No. For right now, you rest. You're still not back to being yourself. The headaches are still there and you're still suffering from the effects of the fracture."

"For how long am I supposed to be…non-functioning?"

"We'll have to see. Your last tests were encouraging but there's still room for improvement. The fracture isn't completely healed yet."

"But the injury _is_ healing, right, Jamie?" Lee asked in concern as he stood by Nelson's side listening intently.

"Yes, but it has more healing to do. As do you," he said as he stared intently at Nelson, knowing the man would chafe at having to be house bound and work free for the foreseeable future.

"I understand, Jamie. I'm sure my staff will do everything you've asked them to do as far as keeping me in the dark about the running of my Institute."

Jamie was about to say something else when the door to Nelson's room opened and Jill Ruiz stepped through pushing a wheelchair, a huge smile on her face.

"I heard a rumor you were going home today," she said with a big smile.

"So I've been told, Miss Ruiz."

"Jill. Remember, Admiral? I'm happy you're feeling much better and doing so well. The rumors of your… um…temper were exaggerated if I may say so," she said with a quirk of her lips.

"You _may_ say so and I thank you. I don't know where I get this reputation for being some kind of monster," he said with an innocent look on his face, deciding to ignore the snort that came from Lee standing behind him.

"I'll see you first thing tomorrow morning for a therapy session," she said.

"I'll make the coffee! Decaf unfortunately, but I've been told it's still coffee," he said forlornly as he seated himself in the chair.

Lee smiled as he walked beside Nelson's wheelchair as Jill pushed him down the hall to the car waiting for them by the front entrance, Vince already there ready to help if needed.

"Mr. Carter, it's been a pleasure and an honor to get to know you," Nelson said as he shook the man's hand.

"Thank you, sir. The pleasure's been mine."

Seated finally in the car, Nelson displayed his extreme desire to be away.

"Let's go, Lee. It's time I was home."

Lee smiled and turned to Jill. "See you in a few minutes?"

"Vince and I will be right down," she said with a huge smile.

The ride to Nelson's house was accomplished quickly. Walking through the side door of his cliff side house, Nelson stopped and took a deep breath, smiling as he closed his eyes.

"The air just smells so much better here than up there," he said gesturing up the hill to the Med Bay before heading out through the sliding glass door to his spacious deck, sighing in pleasure as he looked out to the ocean below. This was all he needed to complete his recovery and get back to what he loved doing: his own bed, peace and quiet and his ocean before him. Just a little bit longer and he would have his life back.

Noticing a rustle of noise and whispers coming from within the house, he went back inside, surprised to see Lee, Edith, Chip, Angie, Sharkey and several of his crew inside the door with big smiles on their faces.

"What's all…?"

"Surprise!" they yelled in unison.

"That's really not a good thing to do to someone that's just escaped from the hospital," he joked as he clutched his chest. "But thank you."

"We just wanted you to know…well, we're glad you're all right, sir. The men planned this little surprise to welcome you home," Sharkey said as he gestured outside to the deck.

Nelson turned to the deck and saw more members of the crew as well as members of the Med Bay staff arriving and he stepped back out. The spacious yard by the side of the deck was covered with tables and chairs and several grills were belching luscious scents that made Nelson's mouth water.

"How did I miss all that?" he asked in a hushed voice, overwhelmed by what he was seeing.

"You were focused on one thing and one thing only, Admiral. Your ocean," Lee said happily as he came out on the deck with him, gesturing to the sea below.

"I suppose so," Nelson said in awe as he watched his friends and crew wave to him or call greetings to him as they ambled by. "I had no idea this was…that anyone was planning something like this."

"You weren't supposed to know. We're very good at keeping secrets, sir," Angie said with a smile, as she walked to his side, happy her boss was recovering.

"Not sure how to take that, Angie but thank you."

"Here, Harry," Edith said as she came up beside him with a glass filled with an amber liquid which she handed to him. "It's just juice so don't get excited. Let's go get you situated at one of those chairs before they're all gone."

Harry was about to tell Edith he wasn't tired and didn't need to sit down but thought better of it as he knew the worry his sister, and his friends, had experienced over the past few weeks. Grudgingly he followed her and seated himself at a spot where he could see the activities on the side yard.

"Well, Admiral! I hope you're enjoying your surprise."

Looking up, Nelson saw Jamie standing beside him with a bottle of beer in his hand.

"I am enjoying it. What I can see of it from here. Do you by any chance think I could have one of those?" he asked gesturing to the bottle in Jamieson's hand.

"I don't think that would be a good idea," he said with a shake of his head.

"Yeah. That's what I thought," he said as he turned his gaze back to the yard where members of the crew had set up a volleyball net and were choosing teams.

"Come on," Jamie said when he saw the wistful look in Nelson's eyes. "Let's go watch a bit closer.

"You sure my keeper won't object?" he asked with a smile.

"I know Edith's being a bit protective of you right now, but try to understand. She was quite worried. We _all_ were worried. We don't want you pushing yourself," he said with a hand on his shoulder. "We came too close to losing you."

"I do understand, Jamie. It's just…hard to sit back and let other people do what I should be doing or what I _want_ to be doing."

"It won't be for long. I promise. You'll live."

With a laugh, Nelson walked slowly down the steps at the end of the deck and stood off to the side, watching the crewmen play a very animated game of volleyball, while the smoke from the grills that had been set up to the rear of the yard wafted over them. "I assume that whatever is being cooked on those grills over there is something I'm allowed to eat?" he asked with a quirked eyebrow.

"Yes, Admiral. You are allowed to eat whatever is being cooked over there," Jamie said with a laugh. "Your dietary restrictions for the most part are over. Watch the salt. No caffeine or alcohol for the time being but other than that, have at it. You need to put some weight back on anyway. You lost a lot over the past few weeks," he said, noticing how the clothes Nelson wore hung on his frame.

"Funny. A few months ago I was in your office and you nagged me about losing weight," he said with a huge smile, turning as he felt a hand on his shoulder and saw Seamen Kowalski and Patterson standing beside him with big smiles on their faces.

"Admiral! We just wanted to tell you…well, we're glad that you're getting better, sir, and can't wait until you can sail on _Seaview_ with us again," Kowalski said as Patterson nodded.

"I can't tell you how much I long to do the same thing, Ski. Hopefully, it won't be too much longer. And Pat, I wanted to thank you again for the photos you took when I was being…well, the photos of the crew. It…it meant a lot to me."

"You're welcome, sir. I just thought when you got better you'd see…well you'd see how much we care about you," he said quietly, embarrassed by Nelson's gratitude.

"I…did. Thank you both."

The two seamen nodded and raced off to join the others in the volleyball game as Nelson watched them go.

"You chose well in your crew. They would do anything for you," Jamie said quietly.

"Yes, for the most part I chose well," he said pensively.

"Don't blame yourself about Howard. You weren't the only one he fooled."

"Perhaps, but my lapse nearly cost everyone on board their lives, Jamie. That responsibility lies solely at my feet," he said sullenly before turning away and heading to the food tables where he was handed a plate brimming with food by Lee.

"Lee, I can't possibly eat all this! But I'm going to have fun trying," he said with a gleam in his eye.

The rest of the day was spent eating the food the cooks had grilled or that had been brought by those attending and watching various games played on the yard above the ocean. Some of the crew had brought bathing suits and traversed the path down from the house to the beach and frolicked in the surf as Nelson watched longingly, wishing he had the strength to make his way down to the beach. He longed to feel the salt spray in his face and hear the gentle lap of the waves on the sand.

"Soon, Admiral Nelson," a soft voice behind him said.

Looking over his shoulder, he smiled as he saw Jill Ruiz standing behind him with a knowing look in her eye.

"Just how is it you know what I'm thinking?" he asked with a slight smile on h is face.

"Easy. World renowned marine biologist forbidden to do any of the things he loves staring at his beloved ocean so close to him yet so far away down a path he feels he is unable, or permitted, to navigate."

Nelson snorted. "Very good, Miss…Jill. Very good," he said as he turned his gaze back to the water.

"I know you've heard this a lot lately but…soon. Soon, you'll have your life back, including your beloved ocean, research and submarine," she said as she put her hand on his arm.

"It can't come soon enough," he said so softly, Jill barely heard. "But, I have guests and those guests are probably staring at me in concern right now, so let me escort you to the dessert table," he said as he offered her his arm.

"I would be honored, Admiral," she said as she laced her arm through his and walked off to eat more of the cake she knew she shouldn't eat.

~O~

The afternoon had faded into evening when Lee noticed the admiral was beginning to tire and he walked to him.

"Admiral, maybe we should go back inside. You're looking a bit tired," he said as he waited for the explosion he was sure was coming.

"I…actually I hate to say it but you're right. I…I am a bit tired. I just don't want the day to end. It's been so good to see everyone again," he said regretfully.

"It's been good for them to see you, sir. They've been worried about you. Come on. I'll walk you back into the house," he said as he signaled to Chip who was watching them from across the yard where they were going.

"Maybe there's some of that cake left," Nelson said with a smile.

"You know you've lost a lot of weight over the past few weeks but you don't have to put it all back on in one day!" Lee joked, pleased when he heard Nelson's bark of laughter.

Climbing the few stairs that led from the yard up to the deck was slow going and Lee worried they had done too much today. Maybe it would have been better for them to have waited to welcome the admiral back home but the men seemed excited to hear of Nelson's release and had planned the day's activities.

Pausing at the top of the stairs for a moment, Nelson took a few moments to regain his breath and shook off the tiredness that wafted through him. Entering the kitchen off the deck, he was immediately greeted by Edith.

"Harry, I was wondering where you had gotten to. Are you all right?" she asked in concern as she studied his face.

"I'm just fine, Edie. Lee here wanted to come in and see if there was any more of that cake," he said with a wink at Lee who shook his head and laughed.

"Actually, Admiral there are a few pieces left. I put a few in your refrigerator for you and Edith for later but there's still a few here," Angie said as she came up behind him, smiling, as she knew it wasn't Lee who had wanted the cake. "If you want I can cut a slice for Lee and you two can sit down in the living room while he eats it."

"Sounds good. Cut a piece for me also and you've got a deal," he said as he walked slowly through the kitchen and into the spacious living room, seating himself heavily on the couch with a sigh.

"Where's Jamie anyway?" Nelson asked looking about him. "I thought for sure he or Dr. Bradley would be here watching that I didn't tire myself out or have too much fun."

"I saw Jamie leave a few hours ago," Lee said as he accepted a plate with a huge slice of cake on it from Angie and watched as Nelson took his, his right hand trembling a bit at the weight. He shook his head in worry as he knew he should have tried to get Nelson to come in sooner.

"Has he seemed different to you or is just me?" Nelson asked as he ate the cake slowly, trying hard not to allow his hand to shake.

"To tell you the truth, he hasn't seemed himself for some time now. Even during the last cruise, he seemed distracted. And after you…after the bomb…he seemed…unsure of himself and of what to do."

"That doesn't sound like Jamie," Nelson said with a frown.

"No, it doesn't."

"I suppose if there's something going on with him he'll talk about when and if he wants," Nelson said with a frown, worried about his friend.

"I guess. Well, I'm going to go see how the clean up is going," Lee said rising and putting a hand on Nelson's leg as he started to rise. "You stay here and rest. We'll take care of the clean up."

"You know, that sounds good," Nelson said tiredly. "Will you make sure everyone knows how much I appreciate all they've done?"

Lee nodded and headed for the kitchen. Turning back he saw Nelson lay his head back against the chair and close his eyes.

"Is he all right," Angie asked in concern as she peered over Lee's shoulder at her boss.

"Just tired. He fell right asleep."

"Maybe this wasn't the best time to do this," Edith said worriedly as she finished washing a pot and put it down on the counter, staring at her brother in anxiety.

"He's fine and he enjoyed it, Edith," Lee said as he turned back to her. "He needed this. He's been told that he can't do this and he can't do that for long enough. I'm surprised he hasn't lit into someone yet."

Angie laughed. "To tell you the truth, so am I!"

"Well, Jon said he was doing fine, I guess I just need to believe it and let him go."

"Jon, huh?" Lee asked with a smirk on his face. "You and…Jon seem to be getting along pretty well."

Edith's face reddened as she blustered. "Jon's just…he's…he's Harry's doctor. I just…well, he took the time to talk to me about…about Harry and what to expect. That's all. And if you think there's anything going on between us, well you can just stop, Lee Crane," she blustered as she pointed a finger at him.

From the living room, they heard Nelson chuckle softly. "You tell him, Edie."

"I guess he wasn't as asleep as I thought he was," Lee said with a scowl.

"Come on. Let's go help clean up. And you, Admiral Nelson…go to sleep," Angie said as she grabbed Edith's and Lee's arms and pulled them toward the door, smiling when they heard Nelson's muffled, "Yes, Miss Wood," followed by a soft snore.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

The next morning, Nelson awoke to the call of seagulls outside his window and smiled as he remembered he was home and would soon be back to work. Stretching, he luxuriated in the feel of his own bed that cradled him and he closed his eyes, thinking another few minutes of sleep wouldn't hurt. Turning on his side, he glanced at the clock by his bed and grimaced. How did it get to be so late? He wasn't one to lie about and here it was almost 0730 and he was still in bed.

"Getting lazy, Nelson. Long nap after the party last night followed by way too many hours asleep today. Too much time lounging about doing nothing is making you soft," he mumbled to himself as he threw the covers back and swung his legs over the side of the bed, pausing as a brief bout of lightheadedness and nausea washed over him.

"Someday, I'm going to be able to get out of bed and walk without that annoying dizziness," he said as he rose cautiously and walked unsteadily to the bathroom when it had passed somewhat.

A half hour later he strolled into the kitchen downstairs to see Edith, a cup of coffee by her side and her nose in a paper seated at the table out on the deck.

Walking outside he closed his eyes and took a deep breath. Yep. The air just smelled so much better here.

"Harry! I was hoping you would sleep later," Edith said as she put down her paper and stared at him in concern.

"Later? I have therapy in an hour. How much later did you want me to sleep? I slept for almost twelve hours!" he said as he looked about the deck, noticing it and the side yard had been thoroughly cleaned of all evidence of yesterday's festivities.

"You were so tired last night, I just thought…"

"Edie, I'm fine. Stop worrying. Is that coffee something I'm allowed to have?" he asked pointing to the carafe by her side.

"Yes. You go decaf, I go decaf," she said with a smile.

"Such a good sister you are to deprive yourself of a good cup of coffee," he said with a smile as he poured himself a cup and sat down.

"Yes well, I can always get the real stuff later," she said with an evil grin as she rose. "You enjoy that while I make you something to eat."

"I'm not very hungry, Edith," he said as he felt his stomach roil at the thought of food. "Just toast would be fine."

"Not hungry? What's wrong?"

"Edith, I'm fine! I just ate too much yesterday. That's all."

Edith stared at him a bit longer before going inside, coming back out shortly with two pieces of toast.

"Thanks, Edith."

"It's just toast, Harry," she said with a smile.

"I don't just mean for the toast. I mean for being here," he said quietly as he pulled the toast apart and slowly ate it piece by piece.

"Where else would I be? You're all I have. I…" she stopped what she was about to say as she felt tears rise up in her as she thought of the past weeks and the worry she'd felt…the hopelessness.

"I'm sorry Edith. I never planned to make your life hard," he said as he placed a hand on hers and squeezed, pleased the strength was coming back in it. "I know how many times you've sat by my bedside and waited, prayed, called to me. I don't mean to worry you or tear you away from your life."

"Harry, you're my brother. I love you and there is no place else I would ever be. You've always been there for me."

"Not always," he said quietly.

"When you were able to, you were. When duty wasn't calling you to some far off place or your work wasn't taking you to places I can only dream of, you were there. Besides, you saved your men and your sh…your boat. I'm very proud of you."

Nelson was quiet for a time, trying to forget Derek Howard and the guilt he felt at having missed who the man was. Staring out at his beloved ocean, he watched the waves dance in a slight gust of wind that blew across the water and wished once more he could be down there, out on the water with the breeze blowing through his hair.

"Well, I'm on the road to being back to my old self so why don't you go to town or something?" he asked, turning his thoughts back to his companion. "Get out, shop, go for a drive and stop worrying about me."

"I don't want you alone. In case…"

"Jill will be here soon. Besides, you're worrying me."

"Me? How am I worrying you?" she asked, her eyebrows raised in puzzlement.

"You flew all the way from Boston, how many weeks ago? Gave up your teaching to sit by my side. Since then you've either been nearby or in my office doing work I should be doing or here taking care of me. I feel guilty."

"Well don't. There's no place I want to be more than here."

A knock on the side door stopped Nelson from what he was about to say as Edith disappeared inside to answer the knock. Opening it she saw Jill Ruiz standing outside with a big smile on her face. "Good morning Edith! How is he this morning?" she asked.

"A bit grumpy. Good luck with him."

"I heard that, Edie!" Nelson called from the deck. "There's nothing wrong with my hearing you know. Jill, come on in and ignore my sister."

"How are you feeling this morning, sir?" she asked as she walked out on the deck to stand by her patient.

"Wonderful. No headache and ready to get to it. The sooner I get my strength back; the sooner things get back to normal for all of us. Edie, go. Get out of here. Please?"

"All right. But I'll be back in an hour."

Make it two. Or three," he yelled as he watched his sister disappear out the door and heard her drive off.

"She's very devoted to you, Admiral."

"Yes she is. Perhaps too devoted. But let's get to it," he said, turning his gaze to his therapist. "What did you have in mind for me today?"

Over the next two hours, Jill worked with Nelson on various strengthening exercises and was once again astounded how fast the man seemed to respond.

"Well, once again you've done more today than I had anticipated," Jill said at the end of two hours. "Your flexibility is improving, your walking is progressing and the strength in your right side is almost perfect. Once you get that cast off you can start strengthening that arm."

"And then I'll be as good as new," Nelson said with a smile.

"Or better! Who knows?" Jill laughed. "Well, I have another patient downtown so I should be off. Don't push yourself, Admiral. You're doing fine."

"Thank you," he said. "Have a good day and I'll see you tomorrow."

With a wave, Jill went to her car and sped off down the long drive to the main road while Nelson watched in envy.

Shaking his head, he walked back inside and stared about him. For the first time in a long time, he was alone and he smiled. He walked to the kitchen, poured himself a glass of juice and went back out on the deck, trying to ignore the beginnings of another headache. How much longer was he going to have to put up with the daily headaches? Some of them were so fierce he almost wished for unconsciousness to alleviate the pain. Sitting down in a chair that looked out over the ocean, he rubbed his head in a vain attempt at easing the pain and was surprised when a bottle of pills was put on the table in front of him.

Looking from the pills to the person who stood over him, he grimaced as he saw Lee with a severe look on his face.

"Another headache?" he asked simply.

"A bit of one. Jill just left. I guess maybe I tried to do too much," he said as he reached for the pills he knew would ease the pain but not take it completely away.

"Where's Edith?" Lee asked as he seated himself by his friend's side and stared at him in concern, looking for any sign he should call Jamieson.

"I told her to get out of here while Jill was here. She spends too much time here with me."

"She just cares about you. So do I. So do Chip and the crew," he said softly as he stared at Nelson. "We're all just worried about you."

"I know, Lee. But I…"

"Look I know you don't like being taken care of but let us. OK? We thought…we thought you weren't going to come back. I saw you…I saw you die in the Missile Room and I thought that was it. I was never going to be able to talk to you or sail on _Seaview_ again with you or…anything again. When I saw that machine breathing for you…I…I can't tell you how It ripped my heart out. I was… Hell, I was scared! So you letting us take care of you and worry about you is a small price to pay for what we went through. Edith thought she'd lost you and she was…well she was scared. So forgive her hovering. Our hovering."

Nelson sat in silence for a time, absorbing what his friend had said, knowing it was true. Hard to hear but true. Finally, he turned his gaze to Lee who stared out at the ocean with a contemplative look.

"You're right. I know you're right. I'll…do better. All right?" he asked with a quirk of his lips.

"All right," Lee said with a slight smile. He acknowledged what Nelson felt but thought maybe the man understood what the past weeks had been like for them. Perhaps he understood the fear, the worry, the grief they had all experienced as they'd waited.

"How about you do me a favor?" Nelson asked leaning forward on the table and staring at Lee with a slight smile.

"I don't like that look. What is it?"

"In exchange for ignoring the hovering, how about you fill me in on a few things going on with the Institute or _Seaview_? Just something so I feel like I'm not completely clueless?"

Lee stared at his friend for a long time and Nelson saw him struggling. But he'd been where Nelson was, recuperating but having his friends shut him out for his own good and knew what it felt like. Sighing, he rubbed a hand over his brow, searching for something innocuous to share. "Well, Kelly down in HR is pregnant I hear. Somewhere about three months along I heard. Everyone thought she had the flu but…"

"Lee! Not gossip for crying out loud!"

Lee laughed to see the stricken look on his friend's face. "All right, all right. We'll start with _Seaview_. The computer upgrades are coming along nicely and should be completed by the end of the week. The repairs of the damage from the…the bomb will be complete soon. The bomb destroyed the dive…the dive chamber," he hesitated as he remembered finding Nelson under the rubble of what was left. "But we're finally almost finished repairing it. It'll soon be good as new."

"That's good," Nelson said, deciding to ignore the slight hesitation in Lee's words, suspecting where his thoughts had gone. "When I saw the countdown begin again, I…I didn't know what to do. I knew I didn't have time to open the casing and…well; containing the explosion was all I could think to do."

"It worked. Mostly," Lee said as he turned his gaze to Nelson. Worked but at a high cost.

Nelson looked up at the tone he heard in Crane's voice and saw the look in his eyes. "Lee, it worked. The boat and crew are safe. I'm…getting better. I'd do it again if I had to. Or perhaps find another way," he laughed. "So how about the Institute?"

"If Jamie knew I was talking work with you…"

"Lee, I need something. Anything. Do you know how bored I am?"

"Yes, I do. All right," he said holding his hands up in surrender as he remembered the conversation in the Observation Nose right before the bomb had been discovered about how Nelson felt about downtime. For the next half hour, Lee talked to Nelson about the Institute, picking and choosing what he told the man in the hope he would be satisfied and was surprised when he was.

~O~

For the next week, Jill came daily and put Nelson through increasingly harder exercises and was thrilled, as was he that he responded so well. By the end of the week she surprised him with the announcement that she thought he was ready to tackle the trail down to the beach.

Like a little boy given an unexpected present, he traversed the path eagerly, reveling in the freedom the simple act allowed him. Reaching the beach, he stopped and stared out at the azure water, letting the sound of the waves crashing on the beach and the tangy scent of the ocean in his nostrils fill him with deep, satisfying peace. Off shore he made out a pod of dolphins cavorting in the frothy waves and he smiled as he watched them, wishing hard he were out there with them.

"Soon, Admiral," Jill said quietly as she came up to stand by him, knowing how hard the past weeks had been on the man.

Nodding, he turned his gaze from the ocean to the buildings bordering the edge of the Institute and frowned slightly. He wanted… needed…to be there doing his work, his research, making decisions he made for the good of his Institute, his employees and his life's chosen work.

"You know, you should be very proud of what you've accomplished, Admiral Nelson," Jill said as she saw where his thoughts had gone. "Your Institute, your submarine, are testimonies to not only your tenacity but your vision."

"Thank you. But the people I surround myself with deserve a lot of the credit. They're the ones running things now," he said sadly as he lowered his gaze from his Institute back to the woman beside him.

"Only for a bit longer," she said. "You've progressed so well, you don't really need much in the way of therapy any more. Your weakness is almost completely gone and your speech is fine."

"Ah, but what about the rest?" he asked, raisingan eyebrow at her.

"You mean is there still something waiting to be noticed? Some…"

"Deficiency. Weakness. Something I've lost because of the injury that I don't know about."

"Only time will tell but I think I know you well enough to say you've probably already tested yourself. Tried to remember things, attempted complex mathematical equations, contemplated any number of things a world renowned scientist such as yourself might ponder in a day," she said with a knowing smile.

Nelson laughed heartily. "You're very good, Miss Ruiz. I have but…there are things you can't plan for. Things…"

"Worrying about what ifs isn't productive, is it? Now, we've been here long enough. Let's get back."

Sighing, Nelson nodded and headed back to his house which had in some sad way become a prison…one he hoped to be free from shortly.

~O~

A few more weeks of enforced rest passed before Jamie called Nelson to his office for a final check before releasing him for light work.

"Well, Admiral, you've progressed well. I must say I wasn't very encouraged at first. I apologize for underestimating you."

"Not a problem, Will. From what I've heard and read, the prognosis should have been…not encouraging. But I had two fine doctors and a slew of people talking me home. So when can I get back to work?"

"Let me take that cast off first and we'll do an x-ray of the arm, make sure the bone has healed well enough for you to be cast free."

"That would be wonderful. The thing itches something fierce," Nelson said with a grimace.

"I bet it does. After that we'll do some more x-rays on your head and check those ribs again. Then Jon and I want to run a few other tests and I'll let you know probably in a few days if you can get back to work. But only for a few hours a day. No pushing it. Now, have you had any problems? Any symptoms? Vision problems, speech, gait issues? Any pain?"

"I'm fine, Jamie."

"Harry? The truth."

Nelson sighed and looked away from the probing eyes of Jamieson. "There are still headaches. And occasionally there's some nausea and lightheadedness but nothing else. Even when I'm tired, which isn't often as I don't do anything to tire myself out, the speech seems fine and the weakness on the right side seems to have corrected itself, thanks to Jill."

"Well, unfortunately, the headaches are probably going to be around for a bit yet. I'll give you a prescription for a higher dose of pain killer and something for the nausea."

"Sounds good," Nelson said, relieved he wasn't going to be put back in Med Bay or have his restrictions increased.

"Let's get to these tests and see if we can get you back to work."

"I'm all for that," Nelson said with a smile as headed off to face another round of tests. Soon, the poking and prodding would be over and he would have his life back.

~O~

A few hours later, Nelson emerged from the Med Bay with a smile on his face. He flexed his left arm and grimaced at the weakness in it. More therapy but the dreaded cast and its infernal itching were gone! Both Jon and Jamie seemed pleased with whatever they saw on the tests but cautioned him to take it easy for a few more days until they fully scrutinized the results.


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter nine

Monday morning, almost exactly three months after he had been injured in the bomb, Nelson had been given the long awaited permission to begin spending short periods of time at the office. He dressed for the first time since the blast in his uniform and took special pleasure in it. It had been too long. Smiling at his reflection in the mirror, he nodded and headed downstairs for a quick breakfast. Edith had been persuaded a few days ago to return to her life in Boston and he was happy she had. Although he missed her, she was where she was supposed to be and it made him feel good they were both getting back their lives after so long.

A knock on the door shortly after he'd finished his quick breakfast told him his driver had arrived. Grabbing his very light briefcase, he opened the door to see Kowalski, a big smile on his face, standing there. Some things were still on his unapproved list and he had decided to not fight Jamie on them. Not being allowed to drive, something he longed for was one of the things he was still forbidden to do. For now.

"Admiral! It's sure good to see you back in uniform, sir!" Kowalski said happily s as he helped Nelson to the car, unmindful of the frown the action caused in Nelson.

"I can't tell you how good it is to be in uniform, Ski," he said as he settled himself in the car and sighed. Slowly, he was getting his life back.

A short drive up to the Institute and he was climbing from the car and heading off to his office hastily before Kowalski had a chance to catch up to him. Entering the outer office quickly, he stopped in amazement as he saw Lee, Chip, Jamie Angie and several members of his staff as well as members of the Med Bay, Jill and Vince included, crowding the outer office.

"What the devil is this all about?" he asked in amazement.

"We just wanted to welcome you back, sir," Angie said with a big smile.

"The place hasn't been the same without you," Lee said softly.

"I…thank you. Thank you all," he said in a hushed voice, overcome by the realization he'd hired some truly amazing people that had become closer to him than he had ever thought possible.

"Well, I know you want to get right to work as your time is limited, but we have cake. And we can't start the day until the cake is cut. So let's go," Angie said as she took the briefcase from his hands, handed it to Lee, slipped her arm through his and guided her boss down the hall to one of the conference rooms that held more people and had been decorated with balloons and banners.

"This is all…quite unexpected. But…again, thank you," he said simply as he gazed about him for a moment then proceeded to cut the large cake in the center of the room, smiling as Angie handed the cut slices to those about her.

An hour later, the secretaries and other staff members drifted off to their respective offices leaving Nelson and Lee alone in the room.

"That was…very nice, Lee. Very nice. Thank you," Nelson said softly as he stared at his friend.

"Well, thank Angie. She's the one that set it up. Said we had to do something to welcome you back."

"I'll be sure to thank her. Now, I hope Jamie doesn't count this as my four allotted hours in the office, because I'm not," Nelson said as he rose from his seat, wincing as the familiar pain flashed in his head again. When was it going to go away?

"You all right, Admiral?" Lee asked in concern, reaching a steadying hand out to Nelson when he saw the wince.

"Yes, it's just a little twinge, Lee. I'm fine."

"I can take you back home if you're not up for…"

"No, Lee I'm fine. Jamie said I would have these headaches for a while. Let's just get some work done today, eh?' he said as he slapped Crane on the arm and with a smile, headed out the door leaving Lee to stare after him in unease.

~O~

A week later Nelson, still on restricted light duty, sat in his office fighting another monster headache. He rubbed his aching head wishing he could think straight. For the most part he felt fine but there were times when the pain took stage front and center making it hard to concentrate. Jamie had told him that some pain was normal for what he had been through, but he was surprised at the ferocity of it at times. In all likelihood, he should probably talk to Jamie again and see if maybe there was something not quite healed yet but he didn't relish another stint in the Med Bay so he decided to push through it. For now at least.

Sighing, he picked up a folder and began to read, relaxing as the pain in his head eased somewhat as he concentrated on what he was reading. His brow furrowed as he realized the report before him had been ineptly written by someone that should have known the correct way to format the research. His anger began to build the longer he read. Not only was the writer ineffectually stating the data Nelson almost knew by heart but he had skimmed over sections Nelson felt should have been stated more emphatically.

Fed up, Nelson pushed the button on his intercom. "Angie, get me Dr. Patel now! I want him in my office in ten minutes if not sooner!"

"Yes sir," his secretary replied easily as she tried to raise the man in question on the phone. She knew from the sound of her boss's voice that Dr. Patel was in for a tongue lashing and she didn't envy the man at all. Patel had only been at the Institute for a few weeks. Fresh out of MIT with a brand spanking new doctorate to add to his name, he was young and a bit of a smart ass if Angie was forced to admit it. But Nelson didn't hire incompetents and she was sure whatever was wrong was easily fixed.

Ten minutes became fifteen minutes and then twenty but still no return call from Dr. Patel.

"Angie! Where is Dr. Patel? I asked twenty minutes ago for him to get down here. It doesn't take that long to walk from the Chemistry building!"

"No sir. I'm still waiting for him to answer my…"

"He hasn't answered you yet? What does he think he's doing? Call him again! Impress upon him that if he wants to work here he'd better answer when he's called!"

"Yes, sir," Angie replied meekly, as she reached for the phone again, calling the chemistry building's secretary this time instead of the man's office, only to be told that Dr. Patel had gone home earlier in the day. Knowing she would have to enter Nelson's office and tell him the man wasn't here, she groaned at the prospect but decided to get on with it. Since his return, Nelson's moods had been wildly fluctuating and she dreaded what she was sure to come.

Nelson sat at his desk, his head in his hands as tried to convince the pain in his head to ease. He heard a knock on his door and looked up. "Come in," he said in a carefully controlled voice as he sat back in his chair.

The door opened to reveal, not Dr. Patel as he had anticipated, but his secretary. "Sir, the chemistry building's secretary said Dr. Patel went home earlier today."

"He went home?"

"Yes, sir. Janice, the chemistry building secretary said she wasn't sure why."

"He just went home?" he yelled as he threw the offending report back on his desk. "He sends me this piece of scientific drivel, expecting it to make sense and he just leaves? Perhaps I should make that a permanent arrangement!"

Angie watched as Nelson rose from his chair and began to pace, his hand hitting his leg repeatedly in agitation. She began to worry that Nelson, who had only been back to work part time for a few days, was overexerting himself. And she was confused at what Nelson was so upset about. Patel was new. He couldn't have been involved in anything significant.

"Sir, please calm down. I'm sure once he comes back to work he'll fix whatever…"

"Fix it? Fix it! It shouldn't have been allowed to reach my desk the way it was written! Someone should have checked his work over before it was sent up here!"

"I'm sure…"

"You're sure of what, Miss Wood? Sure he is capable of writing a scientific report? Sure he belongs here? What?" he yelled at her, a voice inside questioning why he was yelling at someone he considered not only the best damn secretary he'd ever had but a very good friend as well.

"I…I just think maybe he needs some time to fit in. Adjust. I know how hard it can be to be new and…"

"And you think I should let him have that time to adjust? Is that what you think? Well, Miss Wood, you aren't paid to tell me my job. You're paid to be a secretary. I didn't ask you for your opinion now, did I?"

Angie's face went white as she heard her boss rant on. She'd never been talked to that way by him and his words cut like a knife right through her.

"I'm sorry, Admiral. It won't happen again. I…I have work I should get back to," she said softly, cursing the slight tremble to her words. She quickly left the office, closing the door behind her gently.

She leaned her head back against the coolness of the closed door and sighed deeply, trying to get her emotions under control. Nelson was hot tempered but he'd never talked to her, or anyone that she could recall, the way he just had. Her brow creased in concern. Maybe Nelson had come back to work too soon. But then again, she was no doctor and Jamieson had approved Nelson being in the office for a few hours every day. Sighing, she went to her desk and began to get back to her secretarial duties, trying to put the whole confrontation out of her mind.

On the other side of the office door, Nelson slumped into his chair and placed his head in his hands. What had come over him? He'd never talked to Angie the way he just had. When he replayed the words in his head, he cringed at, not only what he'd said but how he'd said it. He shook his head in sorrow, then moaned as pain exploded in his head and he gasped at the intensity of it.

He leaned back in his chair and tried to look beyond the pain, concentrate on something other than the incessant pounding in his head. After a few minutes, the pain began to subside again and he breathed easier. He sat up hesitantly, afraid the pain would return but when it didn't, he began to think. He knew he needed to apologize to Angie and he needed to do that now. The longer it went unaddressed, the worse it would be, for both of them.

Rising slowly from his chair, he waited to see if the pain would make another appearance. When it didn't, he walked to the door and opened it. On the other side, he saw Angie, typing away but obviously still distraught and he cursed whatever had caused him to say the things he had.

"Angie?' he called out softly, guilt filling him as he saw her start.

"Yes sir?" she said hesitantly as he walked to her side.

"I…I'm sorry," he said as he spread his hands out in front of him. "I don't know what came over me. To talk to you that way was inexcusable. I had no right. And more than that, I had no reason to yell at you like that. None of this is your fault. I…I'm sorry."

Angie gazed up at her boss, concern replacing the misery she'd felt before as she took in his pallor and noticed the slight trembling in his hands, a gleam of pain reflected in his eyes.

"It's…it's all right, sir. I know you didn't mean it. Really, it's all right."

"No Angie, it isn't! I had no right. I have no excuse," he said as he paced in front of her desk one hand in his pocket and the other rubbing his brow. "I hope you can forgive me and know you're more to me than just my secretary. You _run_ NIMR when I'm not here and sometimes when I am! I just…I don't know what came over me."

Angie was just about to tell him again it was all right when he moaned and swayed, catching himself quickly on her desk.

"Admiral!" she yelled as she ran around to the other side of the desk. "Here. Sit," she said as she grabbed him by the arms, guided him into a nearby chair and pushed him down in it as she knelt beside him.

Nelson sank into the chair and put his aching head in his hands. "Thank you, Angie. I…I guess maybe I…I didn't eat today. That's all it was," he said softly as he looked down into her concerned eyes.

"Have you taken your medicine today?" she asked, knowing if he hadn't eaten he in all likelihood hadn't taken the pills.

Mumbling about stubborn four-star admirals under her breath when he shook his head, she rose and went to his office to get his pills. Returning with them and a glass of water, she handed them to him, shocked as she saw the tremor in his hands which he tried to cover.

"Admiral…"

"I'm all right, Angie. I just need to sit here for a minute," he said as he took the pill and drank the glass of water.

"Begging your pardon, but you're not all right. You're shaking and in a lot of pain. I can see that much. You need to go see Jamie. Please."

"Jamie said I was all right. He wouldn't have let me out of his clutches otherwise now would he?" he asked with a twinkle in his eye that relieved Angie slightly.

"Maybe. Maybe not. I'd feel better if you went up to see him. Or I could call him down here."

"No, no, no…that's not necessary. I…I'll go see him if that will make you feel better," he said as he rose slowly from the chair, hoping the dizziness would stay away, relieved when it did.

He started to head to the door when he stopped and turned around. "Angie… I _am_ sorry. I really don't know what came over me."

"It's all right, Admiral. Really. I'm tougher than I look," she said with a smile designed to put him at ease.

"You are that. But…are _we_ all right?" he asked with obvious concern he had damaged their relationship somehow, on his face.

"We are definitely all right. I can't stay mad at you for long, sir. You should know that by now."

Nelson smiled and headed slowly out the door, not seeing the frown that came over his secretary's face.

She stood in thought for a moment then reached for her phone and dialed a number. "Chief? It's Angie. Could you come up to the admiral's office for a minute? There's something I need you to do for me."

A few minutes later, Chief Francis Sharkey entered the admiral's office with a big smile on his rugged face. "Hey Miss Angie! What can I do for you?" he asked happily.

"Chief, the admiral isn't feeling well and he's gone up to see Dr. Jamieson. At least he _said_ he was going up but you know how he feels about being taken care of. Could you kind of go up there and make sure he got there all right? Maybe pretend you need to see Jamie yourself?"

"The admiral's not feeling well? I thought he'd been cleared for duty?" he said in concern.

"Part-time only, Chief. He just…isn't acting right. He had a dizzy spell and a bad headache. I told him he should go see Jamie. I'm just worried about him," she finished, reluctant to tell the man the whole story.

"You bet I'll go make sure he got there all right. Don't you worry. I'll make sure he's ok," he said as he hurried from the room.

Angie relaxed slightly as she knew Sharkey would take care of the admiral yet there was a niggling in her brain that said something was really wrong and she was afraid. Knowing that nothing else could be done, she shook her head and got back to work.

~O~

Chief Sharkey walked quickly in the direction of the Med Bay hoping there was nothing seriously wrong with Admiral Nelson. He'd taken a long time to recover from the effects of the bomb but he'd seemed fine the last time he'd talked with him. He'd been excited to get back to work and out from under Dr. Jamieson's clutches. He was lost in these thoughts when he suddenly noticed Admiral Nelson sitting on a bench outside the Med Bay staring out at the ocean beyond.

"Admiral Nelson? Are you all right, sir?" he asked as he walked to him.

"Hmmm? What is it, Chief?" Nelson asked as he looked up into Sharkey's concerned face. "

"I…I just wondered if you were all right. You're sitting outside the Med Bay."

"Med Bay?" he said distractedly. "I am?"

"Yes sir. Were you going to see Dr. Jamieson?"

"I…I don't think so. Was I?" he asked, his face a mask of confusion.

Knowing Miss Wood had told him the admiral was headed to see Jamie, he felt a flare of alarm when he didn't seem to know where he had been headed.

"Why don't you come in with me, sir? I…I needed to ask Dr. Jamieson something anyway. You could keep me company."

"Yes, yes all right. I guess I could ask him about this blasted headache," he said rising then stumbling slightly. Sharkey reached out a hand to him, grasping his arm tightly.

"Are you all right, sir? You don't look so good."

"I…I'm fine, Francis. I just lost my balance. I'm fine," he repeated as he removed his arm from Sharkey's hand.

"Sure you are," he whispered. "Come on. Let's see what Jamie says."

Nodding, Nelson allowed himself to be helped up the steps and guided down the long hallway to Jamieson's office. Entering, they were surprised to find it empty.

"Strange," Nelson said as he looked about. "He's always here."

"Yeah. Maybe he had an emergency. Come on let's go down to the clinic," he said as he followed Nelson out the door.

A short walk took them to the Institute clinic where they were surprised to find, again, no Jamie.

"Admiral! What can I do for you?" a bright energetic voice called.

"Oh, not him," Nelson moaned as a young man in a bright white doctor's coat headed toward them, a big smile on his face.

Sharkey stifled a chuckle as he knew Nelson had little tolerance for the newest member of the Med Bay team. Dr. Anthony Ferris was an energetic and effusive recent young graduate of The Johns Hopkins School of Medicine and hand picked by Dr. Jamieson. Unfortunately, he rubbed Nelson the wrong way and Sharkey attempted to run interference for Nelson.

"Dr. Ferris! Hi! Uh…Admiral Nelson was just coming up to see Dr. Jamieson. Where is he?"

"Well, Dr Jamieson isn't here. He went home about an hour ago. Said something important had come up. What can I do for you, sir?"

"Uh, nothing Doctor. I just had a headache. That's all."

"I can give you some aspirin, sir!"

"I doubt that will help, Dr. Ferris. Thank you," he said, turning to go.

"If it's that bad perhaps you should let me check you out, sir. You don't look well," Ferris said in concern as he scrutinized the admiral closely.

"Thank you, Doctor. That's just what I wanted to hear," Nelson said with a frown.

"Eh, as long as you're here, Admiral…it couldn't hurt to let him look you over. See what's causing the dizziness," Sharkey said carefully.

"And just who said I had any dizziness?" Nelson asked crossly.

"Uh well…you were dizzy outside, sir. I just…"

"I take it you've been talking to my secretary?"

"She…she's worried, sir. That's all. Besides, what can it hurt if he looks in your eyes and takes your pulse?"

Sighing and closing his eyes against the brightness streaming through the window nearby that seemed to bore straight through to his brain, he finally nodded, remembering to keep the movement slight to avoid the flare of pain he was certain would accompany it.

"All right, Dr. Ferris. Lead on," he said resignedly.

"Great! Come on in here," he said gesturing to an exam room Nelson had seen more times than he cared to remember. He walked to the gurney and seated himself on it, frowning as the young doctor took his blood pressure, checked his pulse, looked into his eyes and moved his head about gently. He had to admit once he stopped talking; the man seemed to have a good bedside manner.

"So how often have you had these headaches and dizziness?" he asked.

"Headaches come and go. Dizziness isn't that often," he said glancing up at Sharkey warning him not to disagree.

"Well, I can't see anything wrong, sir. Your blood pressure's a little high. That may be causing your symptoms. Or it may still be from the head injury. I can call Dr. Jamieson if you like and have him come and…"

"No, no, no. Don't bother him. He obviously had something important to do."

"Why don't you come back in the morning when he's here? I'll make a note that you were here and why and he'll check you over more thoroughly."

"Sounds like a plan," Nelson said as he buttoned his shirt and hopped carefully down from the gurney. "Thank you, Dr. Ferris."

"Thank you, Admiral! It was my pleasure!"

"Chief, didn't you need something from Jamie?" Nelson asked when Sharkey began to follow him out the door.

Oh…that can wait, Admiral. How about I get you back home?"

"I'm quite capable of getting home all by myself, Francis. I've been doing it for several years now."

"I know, sir but…you're not supposed to be driving yet and…I'd just feel better if I could…you know…make sure you get home all right," he finished softly.

Nelson closed his eyes and sighed heavily. "I'm surrounded by people that think I am incapable of taking care of myself."

"I think you're surrounded by people that care about you, sir," Ferris said with a huge smile.

"Yes, well…come along, Chief. Help me along home."

The two men walked back to Nelson's office, Sharkey watching Nelson out of the corner of his eye for any signs of distress. Angie looked up as the two men entered the office. "Admiral? How did it go? And Chief…what a surprise to see you."

"Can it Angie. I know you sent him along to watch dog me. It wasn't necessary. But for your information our young Dr. Ferris sees nothing wrong with me but thanked me for coming."

"Ferris? Where was Jamie?"

"I have no idea. Jamie had something important come up I think the good doctor said. Now, I'm heading home. I'll see you tomorrow morning, Angie," he said as he entered his office, stuffed some papers in his briefcase and grabbed his coat.

"Uh, sir…I don' think you should be taking work home with you," Angie said carefully.

Nelson closed his eyes and tried to count to ten. "I need something to do, Angie or I will go nuts. But…thank you for your concern," he said softly as he walked from his office into hers. "Now, why don't you head home, too? I think you've had a long enough day considering what I put you through," he said patting her gently on the arm before heading to the door. "I'll see you tomorrow. Come along, Francis."

Casting a quick, nervous smile to Angie, Sharkey followed his boss out the door.


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter Ten

A short ride later found the two men at Nelson's sprawling one level house situated on a bluff over looking the Pacific. Walking through the house and outside to the deck, Nelson inhaled the crisp ocean air and felt himself relax. This was all he needed: home and the ocean.

Sensing someone behind him, Nelson tensed until he remembered Sharkey had driven him home. His brow furrowed in concern as he had forgotten that fact.

"Beautiful view isn't it, sir?' Sharkey asked.

"Yes, Chief. It is. I can't tell you how much I love this view. No place like it in the world for me."

"Yeah. Well, if it's all right with you, I'll just make you something to eat before I head home," Sharkey said waiting for the explosion he knew had to be coming. But Nelson merely nodded.

"I…uh, think I'll change clothes before dinner," Nelson said as he went back inside and headed to his room.

Sharkey entered the kitchen and quickly set about making something for the admiral to eat knowing he probably hadn't taken the time to eat much.

A short time later, Nelson emerged slowly from his bedroom with a distracted air, dressed in crisp blue jeans and a long-sleeved shirt.

"Uh, admiral…I made you some pasta. I thought maybe…"

"Who the hell are you and what are you doing here?" Nelson suddenly yelled when Sharkey met him in the kitchen.

"Admiral? It's me…Sharkey!"

"I don't know anyone named Sharkey!" he exploded. "Get out of here now!"

Confused by Nelson's actions, Sharkey reached a hand out to him, laying it on his arm. "Admiral…" But before he could say anything else, Nelson punched him soundly on the jaw, watching in confusion as he crumbled to the floor.

"What…what happened? Where…?" Pain exploded in Nelson's head as he tried to remember what happened and where he was. He looked down at the body at his feet and pulled back in horror. Who was he? Did he know him? Where was he? Was he in this man's house? Confusion wrapped about him, clouding his mind, until the urge to get away became overwhelming and he heeded the urge to run. And run he did. He found a car in the driveway, keys still inside and got behind the wheel and drove off. Coming to a security gate, he slowed down, his pulse pounding as he didn't know what to do. But the security guard merely looked inside at him and waved him on.

Nelson drove, not sure where he was going but knowing he had to get away. But where could he go? Nothing was familiar. He had no idea who he was or where he was or where he could go to be safe. So he just drove, hoping some place called to him in familiarity.

~O~

Sharkey groaned loudly as he slowly came to, his head pounding in beat with his heart. What the hell had happened? He couldn't recall for a minute, then it suddenly all came back. The admiral! He'd hit him. But why? He rose slowly from the floor, waiting until the floor stopped moving and went to call Captain Crane, knowing he'd know what to do. The call made, he got some ice from the freezer and walked around the house looking for Admiral Nelson. But, not finding him or his car, he sat down to wait for someone to come help.

Captain Lee Crane raced to the admiral's house after hearing Chief Sharkey's story, his heart in his throat. What had happened? Admiral Nelson wouldn't just punch Sharkey for no reason. Concern for Nelson exploded in him as he drove. Something was very wrong and he felt an overwhelming fear envelop him.

Entering Nelson's house quickly, he found Sharkey sitting on the couch, his head in his hands and a bag of ice on his jaw. Kneeling by his side, Crane gently pulled the ice bag away from his face and stared in concern at the obvious swelling.

"Are you all right?"

"Yeah," Sharkey muttered. "I just got blindsided. I don't know what got into him, sir. One minute he was changing clothes while I made him dinner and the next, he's looking at me like he never saw me before! And then he punched me! When I came too he was gone! What's going on?"

"You were making him dinner?"

"Yeah. I figured after the day he'd had he probably hadn't eaten. So I made him a little pasta. He said it was ok."

"The admiral let you make him dinner?" Crane asked, alarm bells ringing even more loudly in his head. "Wait, what happened today?"

"Oh, Miss Angie got worried about the admiral. Said he wasn't feeling well and she wanted him to see Dr. Jamieson. He agreed and she called me to make sure he got there all right."

"The admiral agreed to go see Jamie on his own? That's sure not like him. Did he get there?"

"Yeah but…when I got to Med Bay, he was sitting outside on a bench staring out to sea. He didn't seem to know where he was or why he was outside Med Bay. I got him to go in with me but Dr. Jamieson wasn't there. That Dr. Ferris was though. He checked the admiral over and said other than his blood pressure being a little high; he didn't see anything wrong but wanted him to come back in the morning to see Doc."

Crane got up and began to pace. Nelson had seemed fine when he'd been here this morning to check on him. "You said Angie was worried. Did she say what happened to make her worried?"

"No, sir. She just said the admiral wasn't feeling well."

"Maybe she can tell me a bit more about what happened today," he said as he went to the phone and called Nelson's office.

"Nelson Institute, Admiral Nelson's office," Angie said crisply.

"Angie, it's Lee."

"Lee! What can I do for you? If you want the admiral he went home."

"No I…uh, look can you tell me what happened today with the admiral?"

Angie was silent for a bit. What had gone on between her and the admiral was not something she wanted to reveal, intending to keep it strictly between them. "What…what do you mean what happened?"

"Sharkey's here with me at the admiral's. He…said you told the admiral he should see Doc. Why?"

"He had a really bad headache and a dizzy spell. I thought he should be checked out. That's all," she said shortly.

Something in Angie's voice told Lee there was more to it. "Angie, I need to know if there was anything else that happened. Anything out of the ordinary."

"Why? Why would you ask me that?"

Crane sighed heavily knowing she was fiercely loyal to Nelson and wouldn't betray him to anyone. Even him. "He's disappeared, Angie. And he hit Sharkey…"

"He what? Why would he hit Sharkey?"

"I don't know. But Sharkey said it was like the admiral didn't recognize him and earlier he was outside Med Bay but had no idea why. What happened today?"

Angie was silent for a long time, debating what to tell him. "He had a really bad headache and some dizziness as I said but…"

"But what?" he asked softly.

"He blew up at me. Lit into me about something I'd said. It was like he had become someone else. I've never seen him act that way towards me or talk to me the way he did before. He was so angry. Then shortly after I left his office, he came out and apologized. Said he didn't know what had come over him and he had no right to say what he did. He was very apologetic. What's going on, Lee?"

"I don't know, Angie. Something's wrong with him obviously. I need to call the police and have them start looking for him. And I need to contact Jamie and get him down here."

"I'll call Jamie, you call the police," she said crisply.

"Good. We'll meet in the admiral's office in ten minutes. Oh and contact Chip. Fill him in on the little we know," he said quickly hanging up.

"Skipper, if he's out there all alone, well…anybody could find him and…"

"Yeah, Chief. I know. We just have to hope anyone that finds him isn't out to do him harm. Wait…I wonder…" Crane said as he disappeared into Nelson's bedroom and came out a short time later with something in his hand.

"What's that?"

"It's his wallet. Wherever he is, he doesn't have any ID on him. Unless the person or persons that find him know him on sight, they're not going to know who he is," Crane said as he pondered his friend's predicament in fear knowing someone who wanted to do him harm might be the one to find him.

Grabbing a nearby phone book, Lee looked up the number for the Santa Barbara Police Department and dialed it quickly. After a brief pause, he was connected to a detective by the name of Chris Powers whom they'd had contact with before and informed her of what had happened as well as their worries about someone harming the admiral or kidnapping him. She promised to contact all the officers in the area, as well as other nearby departments, to fill them in on his disappearance, assuring Crane they would take appropriate measures to find the admiral quickly and before he came to harm.

"Well, at least someone is out looking for him right now," Lee said anxiously after he'd hung up. "Come on. Let's get to the office."

~O~

Ten minutes later, Lee and Sharkey arrived at Nelson's office only to find Dr. Ferris already there.

"Dr. Ferris just came in, Lee. Said he called Jamie a few minutes ago about something he found on the admiral's x-rays. When I called Jamie he said he was already on the way back here and would be here shortly.

"What is it you've found, Doctor Ferris?" Lee asked in concern. Ever since Sharkey had called him, he had tried to figure out what could be wrong with Nelson. Everything from alien invasions to brain implants from an unfriendly nation ran through his head.

"I think perhaps we should wait until Dr. Jamieson gets here," the young doctor said hesitantly.

"What's going on? Where's the admiral?"

The group turned to see Chip Morton standing in the doorway with a concerned look in his eyes.

"We don't know, Chip. He…ran off."

"He ran off? What do you mean he ran off?" said another voice from behind Chip. "What happened?"

"Jamie," Lee said turning to face the doctor.

"I'll repeat myself, Captain…what's happened?" Jamie asked as he stepped into the room.

Lee, Angie and Sharkey all spent a few minutes telling Jamie what had happened throughout the day. Jamie lowered his head and shook it. "I should have been here. Not off…"

"Where you were and what you were doing isn't important right now. Admiral Nelson is. What could be wrong with him?' Crane asked in anguish.

"I…I think I may know," Dr. Ferris said quietly, hesitant to intrude but feeling sure he could shed some light on Nelson's recent behavior.

"Oh, Tony, I didn't see you there," Jamie said surprised the man was here. "What do you mean you may know what's wrong?"

"Well, after Admiral Nelson left the clinic, I started to wonder why he was still experiencing terrible headaches and dizziness from an injury that had healed. I did some research and then examined his x-rays."

"And?" Jamie asked, not happy his authority had been usurped.

"Well, I think I may have found something on the x-rays," he said quietly, looking at anyone but Jamieson.

"Spit it out. What did you find?" Jamie asked as fear filled him that he had missed something.

Ferris held Nelson's x-rays up to the light. "If you look closely here in the left temporal lobe, I think I see a shadow."

Jamie grabbed the x-rays from Ferris and stalked to a brighter light, holding them up. "There was no shadow when I looked at these. If there had been I would never have released…" Jamie never finished what he was about to say as he dropped his arm that held the x-rays and groaned.

"Jamie, what is it?" Lee asked coming to his side and staring at him in concern.

"Dr…Dr. Ferris is right," he said softly and without looking Lee in the eye. "There's a shadow."

"What does that mean?" Chip asked. "A shadow?"

When Jamie didn't answer, Ferris cleared his throat and said, "It means there's something on, in or near his brain in the area of the healed fracture. Perhaps a piece of his skull, a splinter if you will, that's in all likelihood putting pressure on the temporal lobe which would obviously cause pain but also cause mood swings or inability to recognize familiar things," he said softly.

"Or people?" Lee asked.

"Or people," he said.

"Why is he just experiencing this now?" Lee asked in anguish.

Ferris shrugged, flicked a quick glance to Jamieson and said softly, "I…would venture to say the splinter was there before but perhaps hidden by the hematoma. With the admiral becoming more active and the hematoma gone…it moved and began putting pressure on the brain."

"My God! How did I miss that?" Jamie asked as he slumped into a chair and lowered his head into his hands. "How could I have released him with…with this? I…dear God how could I have missed it?"

"Let's forget about why it happened or what it is. What we need to do now is find him," Chip said. "How do we do that?"

"We called the Santa Barbara Police Department, Chip. I talked to Detective Powers. She had an APB put out to all the police departments from San Diego as far north as Sacramento. They…they also alerted all the…the morgues in the area for any John Does that come in that fit the admiral's description or build. Hopefully we'll hear something soon. Something good," Lee said, his voice tinged with fear

"Morgues?" Angie asked in a small voice, worry clouding her face as she pondered the implications. "Isn't there anything _we_ can do?" Maybe…go out looking for him ourselves?"

"That's not a bad idea, Angie," Chip said. "We can call the crew back from leave. Tell them what we can and have them split up."

"Good plan. Anything's better than just sitting here," Lee said.

"I'll start contacting the men," Chip said as he left, heading to his office.

Lee stared down at Jamie in concern then knelt by the distraught man. "Jamie? What can we expect from the admiral? Will he remember again? Will he hurt himself? What?"

"I…I don't know, Captain. I…need to consult with Dr. Bradley.

"I already called him, Jamie. He said he was on his way and would be here shortly," Angie said.

"Thank you, Angie. I…can't believe…I never should have allowed my personal…this is my fault."

"Jamie, placing blame isn't going to do the admiral any good. What we need are answers," Lee said placing a hand on the distressed doctor's shoulder.

The minutes seemed to drag by as they waited. Chip returned and told them the crew had been alerted. Those still in the area had, as they expected, formed up search parties and spread out over the area looking for the admiral or his car, anything to give them a starting spot.

"I just feel so terrible," Angie whispered, slightly relieved people were at least out looking for the admiral. "I should have done something more than just send him to Jamie. I _knew_ something was wrong. He never would have…I should have made sure he told you what he was feeling. Or I should have told you what I saw. Even yesterday when he was here he didn't seem right. Kept forgetting things and I know his head hurt."

"Don't blame yourself. You couldn't have known," Lee said as he walked to her and clasped her shoulder.

"I just keep thinking of him out there all alone. Not knowing who he is or where he is or…" she broke off what she was about to say and got up and walked to the large window overlooking the ocean below.

"Who's out there all alone?"

"Jon," Jamie said, anguish tingeing his voice as he saw the neurologist in the doorway. "Admiral Nelson…he…had some kind of episode. He doesn't seem to know who is he is or who…well…Here, look at these x-rays," he said, trying hard to regain his professional demeanor.

Bradley walked to where Jamie stood, holding the x-rays to the light. "Right there. Do you see it?" Jamie asked.

"Yes, yes, there's a…there's something there. When were these taken?"

"About a week ago. Right before I told him he could start back to work for a few hours a day. You had gone down to USC University Hospital by then. I…I didn't see the shadow. I…I was…wasn't focused on him," he said softly, recalling the phone call that had taken his concentration away. "God, this is my fault! How could I let this be overlooked? How?"

"Jamie, it _is_ hard to see," Bradley said laying a hand on his shoulder. "If you hadn't pointed it out to me…"

"No, Jon. There are no excuses. I was…my mind wasn't where it should have been. I…"

"What exactly happened?" Jon asked.

"Angie said he wasn't himself. He was in pain, unreasonably angry. He came up to see me and…I wasn't there. Dr. Ferris here examined him and found nothing outwardly wrong and sent him home."

"Did he go by himself?"

"No, I went with him, Doc," Sharkey said. "Miss Angie asked me to make sure he got up to Doc. When I got to the Med Bay, Admiral Nelson was sitting outside and he seemed to have no idea why he was there. I got him to go in and he saw Dr. Ferris. After that I took him home and made him something to eat. When he came out of his room he…he didn't seem to know who I was and he…well, he clocked me," he said rubbing his jaw. "When I came to he was gone and so was his car."

"This is my fault. If only…" Jamie whispered again.

"Look, placing blame isn't going to find the admiral," Chip said harshly. "What is it we need to do? The men have formed search parties and the police are on the lookout for him but what else can we do?"

"I…I don't know that there's anything else we can do," Bradley said as he stroked his chin in thought. "From what you just told me, he's experiencing amnesia that may or may not be permanent. His memory may return in a few minutes or a few hours or days. Or never. The fact he doesn't know who he is or where he is, is of course great concern. But, until we get some handle on where he is, I don't know that there's much that we can do other than try to think where he might feel comfortable or someplace familiar."

"But Doc, he was home. That's familiar to him and he left there like he…he didn't _know_ he was home," Sharkey said. "Where else would he feel comfortable?"

"Anywhere near water," Angie said softly.

"You're right. Angie," Lee said. "Contact the SBPD and have them concentrate their search near the marinas or beaches. Then call all the naval bases from San Diego on north. Have them be on the lookout for the admiral or his car. Give them a description of what he was wearing and his car. Chip, call a couple of the men out searching and have them go up to his cabin and check for him there."

"Right. Anything else, Lee?" Chip asked.

"Yeah. Pray. Pray hard _we_ find him before someone who might want to hurt him finds him," he said grimly as he pictured any number of scenarios that chilled his blood. They had to find him and soon. The thought of them getting the admiral back from his head injury only to have him…no…no, they'd find him and before anything bad happened. They had to. There was no other scenario he was going to allow his mind to dwell on.


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter Eleven

A thick mist wafted down the pier as a lone man dressed in ratty looking jeans and a sweatshirt with holes in it walked slowly towards a decrepit looking boat moored by itself at the end of the long pier. A few feet in front of him, he saw a man dressed in jeans and a long sleeved button down shirt sitting on a bench staring out at the rows of boats that lined the small harbor. He walked to him slowly and stopped in front of him but the man's eyes never left the water. Something about the man said he was in trouble but he didn't know why. Maybe it was the lost look on his face. Maybe it was one lost soul crying out to another.

"Hey man, are you all right?' he asked as he sat beside him.

The man's eyes turned to him and even in the dim light of a cloudy late afternoon they were a brilliant blue. "I…I don't know. Where am I?"

"You're in the lovely town of Los Angeles. Where did you think you were?"

The man shook his head then rubbed it as he felt a flare of pain. "I…don't know. I…don't…"

"It's all right, man. I've been there," he said as he stared at the man before him whose eyes were clouded with pain. Jeff Kelly was a man that was used to being on the streets, alone and destitute, but the appearance of the man before him spoke of wealth from the clothes he wore to the way he held himself. "Do you have a place to stay?"

"I…don't think so," he said quietly, looking up at Jeff in confusion.

Jeff looked to the sky and knew the weather was just about to turn nasty and made a quick decision. He'd rarely been shown the kindness of strangers but the man before him screamed to him that he needed help and it appeared he was the only one around that was going to be able to give it.

"Come on. It's about to get nasty out here. My boat's just down the end of the pier. She ain't much but she has a roof and she still floats."

"Boat?' the man said quietly, his eyes scrunched up in thought.

"Yeah. Does that mean something to you?"

"I…I'm not sure. Everything's a blank."

As the first drops of rain began falling, Jeff pulled the man to his feet and ushered him quickly down the pier.

"Here we are. _The Last Chance._ She ain't much like I said but…well, come on aboard," he said as he helped the man onto his boat, ushered him down the steps to below decks and sat him down on a chair.

"So what's your name?"

"I…I…don't know," he said frowning, his forehead furrowed in thought. "I should know that, shouldn't I?"

"Yeah, you should. It's usually an easy question," Jeff said as he stared at the man, wondering what he'd gotten himself into. "Don't take this wrong, but can I see your arms?"

"My…arms?"

"Yeah. I'm not going to hurt you, I just want to make sure I know what I'm getting myself into," he said as he gently took the man's arms in his and rolled both sleeves up.

"I didn't think so," he said as he rolled them back down.

"What did you do that for?"

"I just wanted to make sure you weren't on drugs."

At the man's blank stare he said, "No track marks? I wanted to make sure you didn't shoot up."

The man shook his head. "I don't do drugs."

"You sure? You don't seem to know much about you."

"Yes, I know but…for some reason, I'm sure of that," he said looking down at his arms and noticing a difference in the sizes of his arms.

"Looks like you maybe had a broken left arm recently."

"Does it?"

"One's bigger. A cast on your arm would…don't you remember that?"

"No. No I don't. Why can't I?"

Jeff shook his head. "No clue man," he said examining him furtively. "Your head hurt?"

"Yeah, it does. Why?"

"You keep rubbing it. Maybe you got hit and lost your memory. You remember being hit?"

"Not that I can remember," he said then laughed. "But I don't remember anything so…"

'"Yeah. How about a wallet? You have one? You might have some ID in it."

The man patted his pockets but came up empty. "No. No wallet. I should go," the man said rising. "I can't stay here."

"Why not? You don't know where you belong. Stay the night and tomorrow I'll take you some place where they can help you. Right now's not a good time to go anywhere," he said as the wind began to pick up and the boat rocked in the current as rain lashed the small boat.

"I guess I have no choice," the man said dispiritedly and sat back down.

Turning to the stove, Jeff turned it on and shortly poured hot water into a cup, dropped a tea bag into it then handed it to the man. "It's tea. And it's hot," he said as he waited for the man to take it, noticing a fine tremor in the hand that reached out for it.

"My name's Jeff. I just won this boat a few weeks ago in a poker game. First good thing that's happened to me in a long time. My life ain't been a bed of roses. My own fault though," he chattered as he turned back to the stove and began to heat up some soup and poured it into two bowls, handing one to his new roommate.

"I was…out of the country for a few…several years. Got caught bringing drugs into a country I'd taken a fancy to visiting. Stupidest thing I've ever done. Well, except for actually doing drugs. I spent a few years in their lovely prison system before I was finally let go. I slowly made my way back to the States. Worked on ships to pay my way home. Took some bodacious detours but I finally made it."

"You like boats?" the man asked as he slowly ate the soup, relishing the warmth that began to spread through him.

"Yeah, I guess. Always lived close to the water. Grew up in San Diego. I loved sailing. Small boats you know? Loved watching the naval ships, too. All kinds coming in and out of the harbor. Carriers, destroyers, submarines…man I always wondered how anyone could go on a ship that went underwater. But yeah, I like boats," he said as he looked closely at the man before him who had stopped eating and was staring, lost in thought. "That mean something to you?"

"I…I don't know," he said as he scrunched up his eyes in thought. "What you said sounds familiar but…I just don't know."

"Maybe all you need is some sleep."

"Maybe. How did you get this boat?"

"Well, once I got back on American soil I didn't exactly get a big welcome home parade. I moved around a lot. Worked when I could. Lived up in the mountains for awhile. Worked up in Alaska for a time on the pipeline. Anyway, a few weeks ago I met some people and got into a poker game. I knew it was the wrong thing to do but I went anyway. I…well I cheated. They couldn't prove it but I did. Something good came out of that prison was learning how to cheat. Anyway, I won and they couldn't prove it was by cheating. I took possession of this fine piece of boat and moved it the hell out of the marina she was docked at to here. At least I have a place to live. For now. Until they find me I guess."

"What will they do to you?"

"A beating would be the best case scenario. Probably more than that though. They weren't the nicest people."

The man's brow wrinkled. "You better hope they don't find you."

"Yeah, that thought did occur to me. Tonight's my last night here for me. Thought I'd head south. Maybe go home to San Diego. Haven't been home in…way too long."

"San Diego…I…think I know that place."

"Well, maybe you're a native like me!"

"I don't think so. It's familiar but not home familiar. You know?"

"Yeah, I do. Wow, it's getting late. I guess if I'm going to San Diego tomorrow we should get some sleep. You can have the bed tonight. I'll sleep…" a loud bump from up top had Jeff moving quickly to put out the lights in the small cabin. "Stay quiet," he whispered. "And stay on the floor."

The man did as he said and watched as Jeff moved to the steps leading up top. Suddenly the door was thrown open and four men came down the steps quickly. Punches were thrown and Jeff did his best to fight off his assailants. The lost man stared at the fracas for a moment before launching himself at Jeff's attackers and throwing his own punches. Soon the two had overcome the others and Jeff sat down, wiping a hand across his bleeding lip. "Man where did you learn to fight like that?"

"I'm getting tired of saying it but I don't know."

"Well, that was awesome! I need to get rid of these guys," he said as he began to drag one of them up the stairs. "No, you sit there," he said when his new friend went to help. "I not sure what's wrong with you but you stay still. Did you get hit?"

The lost man shook his head and sat down slowly. Staring down at his hands that were scuffed and bleeding, he smiled slightly.

"Something funny?" Jeff asked when he walked back down after depositing the last body on the deck and casting off the lines.

"I…the fighting…it felt familiar somehow."

"Maybe you're a prize fighter," Jeff laughed. "Don't know what I would have done if you hadn't been here though, man. Thanks."

"I think the gratitude is mine but you're welcome. Where are we going?" he asked as he felt the boat moving.

"I need to get up top. Think I need to head south sooner than I wanted. I need to be out of here before those guys wake up or the cops come. That storm moved through and it's clearing. It's gonna be a good night for sailing. You uh, can stay here if you want or come along with me," he said as he started to head up the companionway.

"I…have no place to go so I guess I'll go along to…San Diego."

~O~

Not far away, Lee Crane paced anxiously back and forth in front of the windows in Admiral Nelson's office, hoping, praying they heard something soon. The thought of the admiral being out there somewhere all alone, not knowing who he was scared Crane. Protecting the admiral was his job and he couldn't help but feel he had done a poor job of it. The knowledge there were people out there that wouldn't hesitate to hurt him or kidnap him terrified Crane.

A brief knock on the door startled him and he turned to see Angie enter, her face white.

"What is it, Angie?" he asked, his heart in his throat.

"I just got off the phone with the Los Angeles police. They found the admiral's car."

"Where?" he asked hoping they had good news for once.

"In a parking lot near a little marina south of the city a bit, called Marina del Rey. They…they were called there because they found four men on a pier at the marina who'd been beaten. A patrolman spotted the admiral's car in the lot when he got there."

"Any sign of him?" he asked, knowing by the look on her face the answer was no.

"They haven't found him but apparently one of the boat owners remembered seeing someone that looked like the admiral near where these men were found. Lee, they're…they're bringing in a diving unit to…to search the harbor for his…for him," she said in a small, quivering voice.

"What? Why? He…"

"They said the guys they found weren't the nicest. They're connected to some really bad people. Lee, they think the admiral might have either been kidnapped by associates of these guys or…have been killed and…and…"

"I get it," Lee said as he walked to Angie quickly and gathered her in his arms. "It's all right. He's not dead. I know he isn't."

"How?" she asked, her voice muffled by his chest.

He was a few minutes in answering but finally said, "I just know."

~O~

Jeff piloted the small boat out of the harbor and headed them south. The night passed quickly as the two men lounged on the deck, watching as the water passed by the side of the boat and gazed at the brilliant array of stars above them.

Dawn broke and Jeff headed below to make breakfast, leaving his new friend in charge of the wheel after a cursory lesson in steering. When he came back up on deck, he was rather surprised to find they were still on course.

"Here's some toast and some coffee. I didn't have any time to shop before we made our quick departure," Jeff said with a grimace.

"That's all right. I'm not really very hungry."

"You know, you look like you belong behind that wheel," Jeff said with a smile as he ate.

"I…I don't know why but it's…familiar to me," the man said with a shrug and a slight smile. "It feels good."

"Maybe you're a sailor."

The man was quiet for a time and Jeff could see the man was lost in his own thoughts.

By noon, Jeff took over again and piloted them to a small marina and tied up.

"I'll be right back," he said as he climbed up on the small pier. "I need to pay the rent so to speak."

"Pay the rent," the man said quietly to himself. "Mooring fees. How did I know that? I…wish I could remember something."

Frustration showed on his face when Jeff came back aboard. "You all right, man?"

"Yes, I…it's just…all this is familiar to me. The boats…the dock…mooring fees…I…"

"Whoa…I never said anything about mooring fees."

"I know. But…I remembered…rent was your mooring fee," he said looking up at him with a hopeful look on his tired face. "What does it mean?"

"What it means man is you're a sailor! Don't know what kind but judging from your clothes, you probably sail something a bit bigger than this old tub."

"But where do I belong?"

"Well, that I don't know. But we're in a big town. No one knows us…well, me at least…so let's rent a car and drive around. Maybe something will click with you."

"Where are you getting all this money?" the man asked as he and Jeff walked from the harbor.

"I've had a lot of jobs since I got back. Best one I ever had was working on a marine salvage boat. Man, I loved that job. We made a minor find and split the royalties. I've been living off that. And I don't need much to live on so…I have some spending money. For now at least."

"Why did you leave the salvage boat?"

"One time thing. They had nothing else for me so I split.

"And got into a poker game?"

"Yeah. Didn't lose all my money though so that's good. Even made some."

The two men walked to a car rental place and rented the oldest, ugliest car on the lot and started driving.

"You know, if you're a sailor, maybe San Diego is some place you know," Jeff said when they had been driving awhile.

"Maybe."

"Well, I'll take you to one of my favorite spots. You'll love the view. After that…well, maybe I should take you some place where they can help you."

Jeff drove for a time until they came to a hill that overlooked the harbor with its array of navy ships. He turned off the engine and looked to his companion only to discover he was sound asleep.

"Hey, we're here," he said softly causing the man to jump in surprise.

"Where?"

"Come on. You gotta see this," he said as he opened the car door and got out, walking a short distance away to look down on the harbor. He felt the man walk to him and smiled as he saw the look that came over his face. "Beautiful, isn't it?"

The man was silent as he stared. Images floated about in his brain and he scrunched up his eyes in pain.

"Hey, you all right?" Jeff asked in concern. "What's wrong?"

The man didn't answer but continued to stare for a long time as the images came unbidden to him of ships and faces and places. Lost in thoughts and fractured images and faces he was startled when he felt a hand on his shoulder. Turning, he expected to see Jeff but instead saw a man dressed in a tan uniform standing by him. Confused, he looked behind the man and saw Jeff being held by two similarly dressed figures.

"Admiral Nelson?" the first man said. "My name is Commander Brant, sir. We've been looking for you."

"You have? I…I don't know who I am. Do you?"

"It's all right. I know who you are and where you belong," he said as he stood by him. "There are people looking for you. They're worried."

"They are?"

"If you come with me, I'll take you to them," he said as he waited to see what the man would do.

He heard the man sigh and saw him nod. "Yes, all right," he whispered as he was led away. Stopping abruptly, he turned back. "Can he come?" he asked gesturing to Jeff. "He…helped me."

"Of course. I'm sure Captain Crane and Commander Morton will want to thank him."

Jeff after a moment's hesitation ran to catch up with Nelson. "You're an admiral?" he asked, dumbfounded.

"I…I don't know. That's what he says."

"Wow."

"He's not just _an_ admiral, mister. This is four-star Admiral Harriman Nelson, owner of the private nuclear submarine _Seaview_ and founder of the Nelson Institute of Marine Research. Where have you been that you don't know that?" Brant asked.

"I've been out of the country."

"For how long? Must have been a while if you don't know who he is."

"Yeah, it was a long time. I guess too long," Jeff said as he glanced at his companion in awe.

Opening the car door, Commander Brant helped Nelson inside and closed the door while Jeff and the other two men got in the back. Before getting in the driver's seat, he pulled a walkie-talkie from his side pocket and spoke into it. "This is Brant. Call the Nelson Institute. Tell them we found Admiral Nelson and he's safe. We're taking him to the San Diego Naval Hospital now."


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter Twelve

Lee and Chip took turns pacing outside the entrance to the emergency room of the San Diego Naval Hospital, impatient to hear from Jamieson and Bradley. The news the admiral had been found on a hillside overlooking San Diego harbor had been a relief to those that had spent the past two days worried and the four of them had flown to San Diego in the Flying Sub quickly, arriving at the Naval Hospital only to be told the admiral was being examined by base doctors. Jamieson and Bradley had been allowed in to Nelson's room and they waited anxiously for word.

"What's taking so long?" Lee asked as he paced back and forth. "We should know something by now!"

"Easy, Lee. When they know anything they'll let us know," Chip said quietly as he fought down his own impatience and worry. Both of them being anxious wasn't going to help anyone.

"Captain Crane?" a voice behind him called. He turned to see a man dressed in the uniform of a United States Naval officer standing behind him with a man dressed in torn jeans and a holey sweat shirt. "My name is Commander Benjamin Brant. This is Jeff Wilson. He's the one that found Admiral Nelson and has been taking care of him."

"I thank you, Mr. Wilson. Admiral Nelson is very important to us. We were quite worried about him," Crane said as he perused the man before him before stretching out his hand and clasping Jeff's.

"I'm sorry. I didn't know who he was or who to contact. He didn't have any ID on him. I…I've been out of the country for a few years and…well being in towns or reading newspapers hasn't been very important to me. I mean, I've heard of this Nelson but I can't say I ever saw his picture. What happened to him?"

"It's a long story. Short story version, he took a blow to the head and developed amnesia."

"Yeah. He had no idea who he was. I'm glad you found us, Commander," he said turning to Brant.

"Yes, so are we," Lee said.

"My pleasure. My father served with the admiral in Korea. He always spoke highly of him so it was an honor to help. Once we got the alert to look for him, we started cruising the area near the base, hoping maybe he'd find his way here. No better place for a Navy man than San Diego. We spotted him as soon as he drove past the Fort Rosecrans National Cemetery and followed the car he was in. We weren't certain if he was in the car on his own accord or not," Brant said as he cast a quick glance to Jeff.

"Well, we're grateful you found him. And grateful to you, Mr. Wilson for bringing him here. Why did you?"

"First off, my name's Jeff. Mr. Wilson was my father. And I came here because I grew up here. When we were sailing south from LA, he seemed to be comfortable at the wheel, like it was natural to him. I figured him for a sailor but geez, not an admiral! Point Loma's always been a favorite spot for me. Seemed a good place to come back to."

"Well…" What Lee was about to say was interrupted when the door to the exam room opened and Jamie stepped out.

"Jamie! How is he?" Lee asked anxiously.

"He's resting right now. Or trying to. Not knowing who he is, is very confusing to him and stressful. Bradley will be prepping him for surgery in a few minutes."

"Is he going to be all right?" Lee asked the question they all wanted an answer to.

"I don't know. I hope the splinter didn't do too much damage but we won't know until he wakes up after the surgery."

"He is going to wake up though, right Jamie?"

"I hope so, Captain. Now I should get back to him."

"Wait…can we see him?" Lee asked.

"It would only confuse him. He doesn't know anyone or anything. He has no idea who I am or who Jon is."

"He knows me," Jeff said quietly. "Can I…can I see him?"

Crane quickly filled Jamie in on who Jeff was.

"It may help him to calm down a bit if he sees you," Jamie said. "He's been asking if you're all right."

"He's worried about me? Man…he's got a lot more to be thinking about than me."

"Well, you can come in for a minute."

"Jeff?" Crane called. "Tell him we…tell him his friends are out here and we're glad he's been found?"

"I will, Captain," he said as he disappeared down the hall with Jamieson.

Jamie stopped outside a door and turned to him. "I'll come in with you if you don't mind," he said.

"I won't hurt him, if that's what you're worried about. He…well he helped me. I just want to help him if I can."

"A lot of people do. Some of us aren't so good at it though," Jamie said sadly as he opened the door.

Jeff walked through and smiled as he saw his new friend propped up on pillows and a pretty nurse checking his vitals.

"So this is what you get for being some important admiral? Pretty nurses attending you and people falling all over themselves to find you?"

"Jeff," Nelson said with a tired smile. "You all right?"

"Me? They're treating me like royalty here. Apparently you're someone special," he said as he walked closer and winked at the nurse who stared at him in shock for a minute, then smiled.

"I'll be back, Admiral," she said with a light touch on his arm and a big smile.

"Wow, pretty nice," Jeff said as he watched her go.

"So I noticed," Nelson said with a smirk. "Jeff, I want to thank you for…"

"No thanks necessary man," he said holding his hands up. "I…I just…well I'm just glad it was me that found you and not someone that would, you know hurt you or kidnap you or something. I'm sorry I didn't know who you were though."

"Yeah, I…guess that's happened before?"

"Being hurt or kidnapped? Yeah. From what this Commander Brant said it has. I think they thought I had kidnapped you or something."

"I told them what happened. What I could remember."

"Yeah, he said. Look, there's some guys outside that are pretty worried about you. They said to tell you they're glad you've been found."

"Who?"

"They're friends, Admiral," Jamie said as he came closer and leaned over him.

"Why can't they come in?" Nelson asked turning questioning eyes to Jamie.

"I thought it might upset you, sir"

"Why? They're my friends, right? Let them in. Maybe I'll recognize them"

After a moment's thought, Jamie nodded and walked out to do what he asked.

"Wow, you speak and they listen. Pretty cool."

"I guess. What would be pretty cool is to recognize someone."

"Well, you recognize me," Jeff said holding his arms wide.

"Yes, yes I do," Nelson said with a slight smile.

At that the door opened and Lee and Chip walked though, hesitant smiles on their faces.

"Admiral? It's Lee. And this is Chip. Do you…do you remember us?"

Nelson stared hard at the two men that stood before him with such hopeful looks on their faces that he wanted to lie and say of course he did. But he didn't and he shook his head sadly. "I…I'm sorry."

"It's all right, sir. Jamie and Dr. Bradley are going to fix everything."

"Captain…I…"

"It's all right…Jamie is it? I've been told by the other doctor the surgery may not work and I may still not remember but that either way, I need it. Right?"

"Yes sir. The splinter may move more and the consequences of that may be worse."

"When do we do this then?" Nelson asked, sighing deeply.

"We're just about to prep you now, Admiral," Jamie said. "Bradley will be doing the actual surgery while I…assist."

At that a nurse popped in and said, "Gentlemen, they're ready in the operating room. I need to prep Admiral Nelson now."

Lee and Chip turned back to Nelson and watched as a small smile lit his face. "I guess the lady has spoken. I'll…see you all later. And hopefully I'll know you."

Lee and Chip nodded and walked quickly out of the room.

~O~

The operation took a few hours and Lee and Chip were soon joined by Sharkey, Angie and several members of the crew in their pacing. Edith had been notified but was unable to return quickly as a winter storm was lashing the east coast at the time but she promised come hell of high water to be there as soon as she could and demanded periodic updates.

Finally the door to the waiting room opened and Jamie and Jon strode through, smiles on their faces.

"Well?" Lee said.

"He came through fine. The splinter was pressing on the brain just as the x-ray showed. But now that it's been removed, we hope he will recover his memories," Jon said with a smile.

"You mean there's a chance he won't?" Angie asked.

"There's a chance I'm afraid," Jon said. "Chances are he will remember but we won't know until he wakes up which won't be for several more hours. I suggest you all go find a place to bed down."

As a group, they all turned and sat down on the chairs and couches scattered about the waiting room.

Jamie smiled knowingly and turned to Jon. "Told you they wouldn't leave."

Nodding the two doctors walked back in to be with their patient.

~O~

A few hours later, Jamie came out and woke Lee from a light sleep. "Lee, he's starting to wake up. We thought you and Chip might want to be there when he does."

"Yeah, yeah let me wake up a minute."

"Come on sleeping beauty. Let's go see if he knows us," Chip said with a smile.

The two officers walked with Jamieson down the short hall to the room Nelson had been placed in and entered quietly. Jon stood off to the side making notes on a chart. Nurses hovered over the still form, checking and re-checking his vitals and IV lines until satisfied; they left the man alone with his friends who stared at him in concern.

A slight moan from Nelson had them rushing to his side as he struggled to wake up from the anesthesia.

"Don't be concerned if he doesn't recognize you at first. He's still under the effects of the anesthesia," Jon cautioned as he made his way to Nelson's side

"Mmmm…" Nelson moaned again as he struggled to open his eyes.

"Admiral? Can you hear me?" Jamie asked as he leaned over his patient.

"I…I hear you," he said softly after a moment, blinking his eyes repeatedly as he tried to focus on the face in front of him.

"There are a few people here that want to talk to you," he said, stepping back and allowing Lee and Chip to come closer.

"Admiral? Do you…do you know who I am, sir?" Lee asked quietly, holding his breath as he watched Nelson blink and stare at him and then Chip for a bit as if he had sprouted another head.

"What…what kind of…question is that? Of course…I know you, Lee. What…what's going on?" he asked weakly as broad smiles and relieved sighs met his words.

"It's all right, Admiral," Jamie said as he leaned over him again, patting his shoulder. "It's a long story and one that can wait. Go back to sleep," he said smiling at Nelson's frustrated look.

"I'd rather…know what's…what's going on. What…what…happened to…?" he whispered as his eyes slid closed.

Jamie looked to Jon who had a big smile on his face. "Looks good, doesn't it?"

"That it does," he acknowledged. "Let's let him sleep now and go tell the others."

With a final look back at the sleeping admiral, Lee, Chip, Jon and Jamie walked out to the waiting room, pasting serious looks on their faces before opening the door, trying not to smile when those in the room rose to their feet quickly, all asking almost in unison, "How is he? Did he know you? Is he all right?"

A few seconds went by as they remained silent, then exploded in laughter, a good feeling after the long days of not knowing. "He remembered us," Lee said simply, smiling at the roar that went up.

~O~

Over the next few days, Nelson regained his strength and listened in shock as he was told of what had happened, and was upset to see the bruise on Sharkey's face as he visited him one morning.

"Oh, it's all right, sir," the man said quickly, brushing Nelson's apologies away. "It don't hurt at all."

"Still, it looks like I clocked you pretty good, Francis."

"Don't let it bother you, sir. You didn't know what you were doing."

"Seems to be true," Nelson said sadly as he remembered the things he had said to Angie. He knew he'd apologized for the words but he still felt ashamed that he had said them at all. He'd expressed regret for what he'd said and the tone he'd used again when Angie had visited briefly the day before. She too had brushed aside what he had said and done.

"Well, I should be getting out of here. I think they want you to get some sleep."

"That's all I do," he said grumpily.

"Well, we don't want you to have a relapse now do we, Admiral?" said a voice behind Sharkey.

"No, Jamie. We don't," Nelson said as he watched Jamieson enter and walk closer, something indefinable in the man's eyes.

"I'll be leaving now, sir. If there's anything you want, just let me or any of the crew know."

"You and the crew should go home, Chief. Tell them thank you for their concern and for all they did to find me but there's nothing they can do here. Shore leave will be over before they know it."

"I'll tell them sir but I think they're enjoying San Diego."

With a big smile and a quick wave, Sharkey left.

Nelson turned his eyes to Jamieson, noticing the shadows in the man's eyes and was hard put to understand it unless he wasn't doing as well as he had been told he was.

"Jamie? What is it? Is there something wrong?"

"Wrong? No. You're…you're doing fine. You'll be out of here well before Christmas. Get to spend it at home."

"I'd forgotten Christmas was so close. I seem to have lost track of time. I hope there's not anything else wrong with me," Nelson said with a little laugh, frowning when he saw a shadow cross Jamie's face. "Jamie, what is it?"

He watched as Jamieson paced back and forth in front of his bed, anxiety filling his face. "Jamie, I'm getting dizzy watching you pace. Please, tell me what's wrong."

"What happened to you…it was my fault," he said so quietly Nelson had trouble hearing. Coming to sit in the chair by Nelson's side, he raised his eyes to the man who stared at him in confusion.

"What happened to me was a bomb in my face. How did you have anything to do with that?"

"Not the original injury," he said lowering his eyes from the probing ones of Nelson. "I…I missed the splinter, Harry. When you came to me for your last set of x-rays and tests, I misread the x-ray. It's my fault you lost your memory. My fault you were out there all alone with no memory of who you were or where you belonged. Anything could have…"

"Jamie! What happened wasn't your fault."

"Yes, yes it was. I looked hastily at the x-rays. I saw the fracture was healed. Tests showed the hematoma was reduced, almost gone in fact. I gave them a cursory look. I didn't expect to find anything so I didn't look closely enough. Then…"

"Then?" Nelson prodded when Jamieson got up and started pacing again.

"I got a phone call and…I forgot about the x-rays. I…left. On my way out I told Betty to tell you all was good and you could go back to work for a few hours a day. I didn't know, Harry. I didn't see it. I…I almost killed you," he finished his voice filled with agony.

"I see," Nelson said softly. "Will, did you do it on purpose?

"No! Of course not!"

"Was it obvious?"

"No, Harry but I didn't look hard enough!"

"Is this splinter something you would have looked for normally?"

"I don't know. Right now I don't know anything except I allowed my personal problems…I missed it," he said hurriedly stopping what he was about to say.

Nelson gazed at his friend for a long time and Jamie began to think the silence was going to kill him.

"You know, you've told me more times than I care to think about that we can only control the things we can control. You also told me, many times that I'm not a god. I can't see the future or make things that go wrong right again. I can't save the world just because I want to. Things happen that we have no control over. You're no different my friend."

"I had control! If I had taken the time to look, really look, I would have seen it! I nearly killed you! How can you sit there and dismiss it?"

"Bah! A little piece of my skull sticking in my brain isn't going to kill…"

"Harry…!"

"No, Jamie. I won't blame you for what happened. I know that's what you want but I won't. It was a freak thing in my opinion. If anyone's to blame, it's me."

"You? How?"

"I knew something was wrong. I just…I didn't _want_ there to be anything wrong. I didn't want back in Med Bay so I didn't come to you. And that is my fault. Not yours. Look Jamie, I trust you just as much as I always have."

"I wish I could trust myself," he said sadly as he turned and walked out of the room quickly, nearly running into Jeff who was on his way in.

"Wow, what's up with the Doc?" he said as he walked closer to Nelson who was staring at the closed door in concern.

"He…he's blaming himself for what happened."

"The bomb?"

Nelson chuckled. "No. The last…episode. He missed something on my x-rays and he's blaming himself."

"And you don't?"

"No. I've known Will Jamieson for more years than I care to think about. Something's going on with him and it has nothing to do with practicing medicine," he said with a thoughtful look on his face.

"What?"

"That I don't know. But it's eating at him," he said sadly.

"Sorry man. Wish I could help but…Hey! I heard they were springing you from here soon."

"Yes, a few days probably. Can't happen soon enough," Nelson said with a smile as he anticipated getting out of another hospital and heading home to his own place.

"Yeah. Captain Crane told me you don't like hospitals," Jeff said with a laugh.

"Does anyone?" Nelson asked with raised eyebrows.

"Nah, I guess not. But I wanted to stop by and tell you all my good news!"

"Really," Nelson said as he smiled and leaned his head back against his pillows. "What good news?"

"I got a job! I can't believe it but I got an honest to goodness, long term job with a marine salvage company. Not just any marine salvage company either! The Baines-Wright Marine Salvage Company!"

Nelson whistled. "That's a well known and well respected outfit, Jeff! Congratulations!"

"Yeah. Man, I not only have a long term job with them but I get to work on a much nicer boat than the last one and a better cut of the spoils! Way better than anything I could have ever thought possible!"

"That's great!"

"And I want to thank you for that," Jeff said with a knowing smile.

"Thank me for…what?" Nelson asked with a confused look on his face.

"For the job. I know it was you that set it up."

"I don't know what you're talking about, Jeff."

"Yeah you do. I overheard someone talking, Baines I think it was, saying that I was highly recommended by Harriman Nelson so I must be good."

Nelson let out a long sigh. "You weren't supposed to know that, Jeff."

"But I do. I just got one question. Why? I mean…you don't know me. What if I screw up again? You're gonna look bad."

"So don't screw up. Consider it an added incentive to stay clean."

"I guess so but…"

"Jeff, you helped me when there was no one else that could have. Or would have other than my friends and crew who had no idea where I was. We talked a lot on that sail from LA to San Diego. I saw the look in your eyes, I _remember_ that look in your eyes, when you talked about that marine salvage job you had. It meant something to you."

"Yeah it did. It made me feel…like I was someone."

"Maybe it doesn't mean much to you but to me, what I heard you say and what I know you did, meant a lot to me. You in essence saved my life."

"I wouldn't go that far."

"Regardless, you have a chance to start over. And if the job doesn't work out or you want something else, come see me. NIMR isn't that far away."

Jeff shook his head as he thought of how much his life had changed in the last few days.

"And no more gambling!" Nelson added, shaking a finger at him.

"Yeah, that's another thing. The guys that attacked us were picked up by the LA police that night. But I got a call from their boss saying we were square. To quote him, 'the payment was more than adequate'."

"What payment?" Nelson asked innocently.

"I suspect you know what payment. I don't know how you did it or how you found the guy but…I'll pay you back. Someday I'll pay you back."

"You pay me back by staying out of trouble and making something of yourself. OK?" Nelson said pointing a finger at Jeff.

"Yeah, yeah, I will."

"Don't be a stranger. You know where the Institute is."

"I do now. Thanks, man. Really."

"You helped me through a bad time, Jeff. You have a second chance. Not everyone gets one, so make the most of it."

"I will. Well, I best get out of here. They told me when I came in you needed rest. I just wanted to…to tell you…thanks and I won't let you down."

"I have complete confidence in you. Good luck."

Jeff smiled and shook Harry's outstretched hand firmly as he looked him in the eye. With a brief nod, Jeff started to walk out but turned back. "And get some sleep. You look wiped out man," he said with a smile.

Nelson laughed as he watched Jeff walk out with a different gait than he remembered. More of a confident walk if that was possible as if he was holding himself proudly and moving with a purpose. Nelson smiled as he thought over the last few days.

Although on first awakening from the operation he hadn't been able to recall what had happened to him, he now remembered vividly the events of the last week. The recollection of yelling at Angie and hitting Sharkey were both actions that still caused him angst. But he also remembered the fear he'd felt, the confusion. Suddenly not knowing who he was or where he belonged had scared him more than he could ever remember anything scaring him before. To have no place you belonged was a frightening thing and he smiled when he thought of Jeff. That must be the way he'd felt. To come home to find no one ready to stretch out a hand and say "This is where you belong" must have been daunting. Maybe that's why he'd lost his memory and gone through all he had. One life to save another? He'd lost many people in his life. Some he'd had no real chance of helping. But it felt good to be able to make a difference. It felt real good. With a smile on his lips, Nelson closed his eyes, settled himself more comfortably in the strange, lumpy bed and let sleep claim him.


	13. Chapter 13

**I had intended for this to be posted in its entirety before Christmas but things didn't work out that way. I hope you still have a spark of Christmas spirit left to enjoy this chapter. Thanks for reading!**

~O~

Chapter Thirteen

Three weeks later found NIMR in a flurry of activity as the Christmas holiday approached. Harriman Nelson, released two weeks ago from the San Diego Naval Hospital and still confined to his home with only the briefest of non-work visits to the Institute allowed, chafed to be able to do something to help prepare. But every time he attempted something, people came from all over to tell him to 'put that down' or 'go sit down, sir'. Although he appreciated the sentiment, it was becoming quite an annoyance.

He and his crew were home for the holidays this year, something that didn't happen every year no matter how hard he tried to plan around it, and he wanted to be able to enjoy the excitement for once. When no one was watching, Nelson slipped from his office where he was "resting", and walked down the stairs to a side door, sauntering down the path outside it until he came to the front of the Institute grounds. Behind him was his beloved ocean that was restless and dark in the deepening shadows of late afternoon. Before him however, was a wonderful view of all the activities going on in preparation for the Institute Christmas party that was to be held tonight and he seated himself on a small bench to watch. Lights were being strung from the balconies of the main offices and all the science labs, as well as the Med Bay sitting up on the hill above the main complex. The Christmas trees, four of them, had been set up days ago on the Institute grounds, and were being strung with colorful lights that would be lit at the party later. He smiled as he thought of all the work being done by his staff to make not only their holiday special, but the children of the employees as well who had been told Santa would be arriving specifically to see them.

The past year had been a year filled with the unexpected: pain, loss, injury…but also with good things. The Institute continued to flourish with contracts through the coming year, new research in some of the labs was making breakthroughs in several areas, _Seaview_ and her crew were safe and best of all, Edith and Jon had seemingly become an item, much to his delight. Perhaps if they married, Jon could lure her from her teaching and research in Boston to California. But knowing Edith's forceful nature, the opposite may also be true and Jon would leave for the east coast to work. Either way, he wanted his sister to be happy and prayed she wouldn't be hurt.

As he thought of his sister, guilt filled him as he pondered all the time she'd spent away from her own work as she'd sat by his bedside or helped others keep his Institute running while he'd been hospitalized. While he loved spending time with his sister, he hated the fact he'd caused her such worry even though it hopefully was in the past. It was nice however to come home to the smells of childhood Christmases as she had taken over his kitchen while he recuperated either on the couch or in his own bed. Scents of cinnamon, ginger and other spices were redolent throughout his home now evoking a nostalgia in him he hadn't felt in quite some time. Fresh pines placed throughout the house sent off their own heady aroma increasing the effect to a degree as had the decorations she'd found stowed away in his attic and put up, making his home a Christmas wonderland.

Lost thoroughly in his thoughts, he didn't hear the soft tread on the path until a body seated itself on the bench by him and a hand gently touched his arm, startling him momentarily. "Aren't you supposed to be resting?" Angie asked with a frown and a touch of worry in her voice as she held his jacket out to him. "And here…this may be Southern California but remember it is still December. Do you want back in Med Bay again?"

Nelson chuckled as he donned the jacket. "Thanks, Angie. To answer your second question, no, I do not want to be back in Med Bay or Sick Bay or any hospital like setting any time soon. To answer your first question, yes I do."

Angie turned to him with a question in her eyes. "Yes you do what?"

"Remember. I _do_ remember it's December," he said with a slight smile as he turned his gaze from hers back to the Institute.

"Such a simple thing to be able to remember but when it's taken away from you…it's hard to explain. To not know who you are or where you belong or who your friends are is a frightening experience. To have them look you in the eye and ask if you know them and to not be able to say of course is…for lack of a better word, difficult. Even worse, though is to hurt the people you care about. Such as you and Sharkey," he said as he lowered his head and stared at the ground.

"Admiral, we've been over this. Both Sharkey and I are fine. You need to let it go. I know it wasn't you speaking. It was…that splinter. I've worked for you for a lot of years and have seen you explode about one thing or another and look," she said holding out her arms. "I still have all my skin."

Nelson turned his eyes to hers and laughed heartily. "I sometimes wonder what I did to deserve the people I surround myself with. Thank you, Angie."

"You're welcome. Now will you do me a favor?"

"Anything. What is it?"

"Come back inside and rest. I mean really rest? I don't want you to be too tired for the party tonight. The kids are looking forward to you being there and reading _"'Twas the Night Before Christmas"_ to them. Having you there will make it so much more special for all of us considering all you…we've been through."

"For you, and the children, I will consent to a nap. But only because you asked nicely."

"And because you're tired," Angie said with a knowing smile as she helped Nelson to his feet, laced her arm through his and escorted him back to his office and his couch that awaited.

"And because I'm tired," he admitted grudgingly.

~O~

A few hours and a nice long nap later, Nelson sat in his office at his desk as he waited for the party to begin. He stared in consternation at his desk, where every scrap of paper, every book and anything that even remotely looked like work had efficiently been removed. Nelson leaned back in his chair and sighed. It was good to just sit here even though there was no chance of looking over any proposals or charts or research. That would come. The past months had been hard and he didn't want to ever go through anything like he had again but in some bizarre way, it had been good for him. To be home for Christmas for once, to have Edith here with him, was a wonderful feeling. To know the respect his crew and friends accorded him was gratifying and he'd made a new friend in Jeff. He closed his eyes as he sat, rocking slightly in his chair as he thought over the past year and was just about to drift into another nap when he heard the door open but before he could open his eyes fully, saw it begin to close again.

"Who is it?" he called.

The door opened again and he saw Lee poke his head around the door. "I'm sorry. I didn't know you were still asleep," he said contritely.

"I'm not. Or wasn't. I was just thinking."

"You're not supposed to do that," he said shaking a finger at him and smiling broadly.

"Can't be helped. There's nothing else to do," he said as he spread his arms over his empty desk. "I assume all my things are some place safe and will be put back exactly as I had them?"

"Uh, well, that was Angie's doing. You'll have to ask her," Lee said with a small smile. "Just wanted to tell you everything's set. I thought maybe you'd like to run back to the house and change."

"I would actually. Something a little more festive than a pullover and jeans would be good, don't you think?" he asked as he rose from the desk chair, frowning when Lee hurried to his side to help. He decided to not say anything as he remembered how hard the past weeks had been on his friends and just acknowledged Lee's help with a quiet, "Thank you, Lee."

As they walked out the office, Lee asked, "Have you by any chance seen Jamie today?"

Nelson snorted. "I see Jamie every day, Lee. Sometimes two or three times a day. I saw him this morning where he checked me out again. Blood pressure, eyes, reflexes…the whole nine yards. Why?"

"He hasn't been seen for awhile. He's usually right in the mix setting things up for the Christmas party. I just thought maybe he'd said something to you."

"No. He didn't," Nelson said as he felt a frisson of worry hit him as he seated himself in Lee's car for the short ride to his house. What Jamie had said to him in the hospital came back to him and he shook his head, concerned the man still blamed himself.

The trip to Nelson's home was a quiet affair as Nelson sat quietly thinking.

"We're here, Admiral," Lee said as he looked over at his friend who was lost in thought when they'd reached Nelson's home. "Are you all right?"

"What? Oh, yes, yes I'm fine I was just thinking."

"Again, I don't think you're supposed to be doing that," he laughed as he got out of the car and came over to Nelson, who could have sworn he didn't need any help but accepted it anyway.

They entered the house and Nelson started to walk to his bedroom to change when he noticed a letter lying on the counter by the door. Reaching for it, he opened it and exploded in anger.

"What the hell is this? He can't just quit! Of all the sorry…here read this," he said as he thrust the letter at Lee and began to pace.

Lee read the letter from Jamie to the admiral apologizing again for his lapse that almost cost him his life and was regretfully handing in his resignation as Chief Medical Officer. Looking up, he watched as Nelson paced back and forth in agitation.

"Admiral, you need to calm down. I'm sure…"

"Calm down? He thinks this is his fault," he said gesturing to the bandage on his head. "He thinks he nearly killed me. I will not accept…"

"All right. You won't accept it. Calm down. Please," he begged as he held Nelson by the arm, afraid he would have a relapse. "We'll go talk to him. You go change and I'll find out where he is. But please calm down."

"Yes, yes. All right. But find him. He's not going to just walk away," he said in a calmer tone as he went to change.

Lee reached for the phone and after a few calls had determined that Jamie was in his office at the Institute. When Nelson emerged dressed in gray slacks and a maroon sweater, he told him where Jamie was and the two headed off, with Lee sending furtive glances at Nelson to gauge his condition.

"I'm fine, Lee. Stop looking at me like I'm going to pass out."

"Yes sir," he said meekly as he drove to the Med Bay, stopping in front and jumping out to help Nelson who again didn't need help.

The two walked quickly through the quiet Med Bay to Jamie's office. Peering inside the half opened door, they saw Jamie sitting amongst some boxes holding a picture in front of him.

"Lee," Nelson said quietly. "Let me handle this."

"I'll be out here waiting," he said with a nod as he watched Nelson turn and head inside, closing the door behind him.

"What's the meaning of this?" Nelson asked softly, holding out Jamie's resignation letter to him.

Startled, Jamie looked up. "It…it's self-explanatory. I quit," he said as he looked back at the picture in his lap.

"Why?"

"Why? How can you ask me that?" he asked in disbelief as he looked back to Nelson.

"I asked because I don't know why. You made a mistake. It's corrected. I don't blame you. No one blames you."

"_I_ blame me. I almost killed you! I let my personal problems get in the way of my job," Jamie said in anguish.

"Personal problems?" Nelson asked as he sat down in a chair near Jamie. "You've said that before and I never got a chance to ask what you mean. What is it, Jamie?"

The silence in the room went on for a long time and Nelson was afraid Jamie wasn't going to answer. Then he heard a small voice say, "Jessie is leaving me."

Nelson leaned back in his chair as he felt the anguish of his friend hit him. Jamie and Jessie had been married for ten years, since before he had come to work for him at the Institute. He'd thought if there was ever a reason to believe he could maintain a long-term relationship with a woman without hurting her by his continued absences, they were the example. The knowledge they weren't hurt him unexpectedly.

"I'm sorry, Will. I didn't know."

"No one does. I'd hoped…she'd change her mind."

"How long have you and she had…"

"Problems? A few months but it got worse on the last cruise. The one where you almost died. She told me in one of our conversations during the cruise that she wanted someone to be there for her when she needed someone."

"Understandable."

"She won't talk to me, Harry. I don't know what to do."

"How long ago did you and she last speak?"

"Last time was the day you…the day you came to my office in pain and I wasn't there. The day you…went missing," he said in an angst filled voice.

"That's been awhile."

"Yeah. She went to her sister's in Phoenix. Said she needed to think and didn't want to see, hear or smell the ocean right now."

Nelson snorted. "Well, that would be the place to go then. Is she still there?"

Jamie shook his head slowly. "I heard from a friend she was back."

"And you haven't called her? Talked to her? Visited her?"

"What's the point?" Jamie asked looking up with unshed tears in his eye.

"The point is to get her back. If that's what you want."

"Of course it's what I want. I just…"

"Just what?"

"I don't know what I'm going to do. My mind is so messed up. My personal problems almost cost you your life," he said softly. "I live with that every day. Knowing I should have done something."

"You did! You saved my life!" Nelson said as he reached a hand out to grasp Jamie's. "Lee and Danny told me what you did. Danny told me how you didn't give up on me when you couldn't get me back."

"Just stubborn. Like you," he said with a slight smile as he looked up at Nelson. "I credit the patient."

"And I credit the doctor. How many times have you saved my life or Lee's or Chip's or any of the crew? How many times, Will? One perceived slip and you're ready to throw your career away? Run into problems in your marriage and you're ready to give up on it? Is that what you really want?"

"I'm not sure what I want. I want the past months to be different."

"There are no do overs in life, Jamie. You know that. We take the hand we're dealt. I told you this back in San Diego and I'll say it again, I don't blame you. No one blames you. Please, Jamie don't do this," he said waving the letter at him."

"I don't trust my skills any more, Harry. I don't trust me."

Nelson lowered his head as he tried to think of how to reach Jamie. Silence stretched out before them as Nelson began to form an idea. "Would you come to the Christmas party at least?"

"I don't feel much like celebrating."

"For me? Make sure I don't over do?"

At that Jamie's head snapped up. "Are you feeling all right?" he asked in concern as he quickly assessed Nelson's condition. "You look tired. I should have known not to let you out of my sight. You can't be trusted to take care of yourself."

"No I can't," he chuckled. "I'm fine. Just…I just don't want to lose my CMO. Or my friend. Come down to the party. I'm supposed to be reading the kids a story soon."

Jamie sighed, not really wanting to go to a party but decided Nelson needed looking after. For awhile he would still be here to do it.

"All right. Let's go," he said as he reached for Harry's arm who instinctively thought about pulling away but acquiesced. If he thought he needed help, so much the better.

"Maybe you should freshen up a bit," Nelson said with a smile. "Comb your hair, straighten your shirt. Something."

Jamieson looked down at his rumpled clothes and nodded. "I have a clean shirt here somewhere. Give me a minute and I'll be ready," he said softly.

When Jamie had left the room to change, Nelson walked hurriedly to Jamie's desk and wrote two notes quickly then went out into the hallway and caught Lee's attention. "Here. Do me a favor and follow the instructions I've written here on the top note," he said handing him both the notes. "I'll go with Jamie down to the party in his car."

"Admiral, what's going on?"

"Just read the first note, Lee and do what it says."

Jamie stepped out of his office looking slightly better than he had and looked suspiciously at Lee and Harry. "What's going on?"

"Nothing. Lee has something to do so I'm going to drive you down to the party in your car."

"No, you're not. You aren't allowed to drive yet. _I'll_ drive us down in my car," he said sternly. "How many other things that I told you not to do have you done?"

"Me? Nothing! I swear!" Nelson professed innocently, holding his hands up in front of him. "I just forgot for a minute."

Jamie looked at him in fear. "You forgot?"

"Not that kind of forgot, Jamie. Come on. You drive," he said as he grabbed Jamie's arm and glanced back at Lee with a smile.

~O~

Nelson and Jamieson walked down the long hallway of the main building quickly stopping just inside the cafeteria. Nelson gazed about the inside of the room, enjoying the sight of the decorations that had transformed a normally utilitarian cafeteria into a winter wonderland. Scents of Christmas assaulted his nose as he breathed in the heavenly aroma of spices mixed with pine.

Although most of the kids had never really seen snow, it roared Christmas to those that had. A Christmas tree surrounded by mounds of fake snow sat in the corner of the room gaily decorated with bright blinking lights and sparkly garland. Red, green and white intertwined streamers hung from the ceiling in festive patterns while huge snowflakes wafted in the slight breeze through the room. Tables were set up decorated with red or green cloth tablecloths with single lit candles sparkling in the middle. Off to the side by the tree, a chair had been set up, a book lying unopened on the table beside it.

"Harry! Where have you been? Are you all right?" he heard as he entered the room. Turning he saw his sister and Angie dressed in elf costumes and concern marring their faces, descend on him.

"I'm fine, ladies," he said holding his hands up. "Stop worrying! I just had to make a stop."

Edith turned her eyes questioningly to Jamie. "As far as I know he's fine, Edith. As he said, stop worrying."

"That's easier said than done, considering who we're talking about," Angie said quietly, earning a glare from Nelson.

"Be that as it may, I'm here. So let's get to the reading. Everything ready?"

"Yes, sir. Oh here," Angie said, smiling as she placed a bright red Santa hat on top of his head gently, covering the large bandage that graced his head. "There. Now you look festive."

"And not nearly as scary," Edith agreed, nodding.

"Scary? When am I scary?"

Deciding to ignore the giggles from two of his favorite elves, he snagged a cookie from a nearby tray and walked to the front of the room where the children of the crew and the Institute employees were sitting cross-legged, eager to get the Christmas season underway.

"Well ,well, well! Look at all of you dressed up so nicely!" Nelson said as he seated himself on the chair and looked at the circle of children before him. "Is there something special going on?"

"It's Christmas, Admiral Nelson! You know that!" Peter O'Brien said with a giggle.

"It is? Already? Well, that must be why there are Christmas trees and decorations everywhere! I think it also means it's time for me to read something. Now, what is it I'm supposed to read to you all?" he asked as he looked like he was having trouble remembering. His eyes shot up to see concerned looks on several of the faces in the crowd and he frowned. How long before they stopped worrying about him?

"The book!" the children shouted.

"Book? What book?" he asked.

"Beside you, Admiral! On the table!" they shouted again, enjoying the game they were playing with the man they rarely saw but were nonetheless in awe of.

"Oh, this one?" he asked as he picked up the book beside him. _"'Twas the Night Before Christmas?"_

"Yes!" they shouted again earning a big smile from Nelson and the rest in the room.

"Well, if you insist," he said with a smile and began to read the story to them in his rich, deep voice, captivating all in the room as he read.

'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house  
Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse;  
The stockings were hung by the chimney with care,  
In hopes that St. Nicholas soon would be there;  
The children were nestled all snug in their beds,  
While visions of sugar-plums danced in their heads;  
And mamma in her 'kerchief, and I in my cap,  
Had just settled down for a long winter's nap,  
When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,  
I sprang from the bed to see what was the matter.  
Away to the window I flew like a flash,  
Tore open the shutters and threw up the sash.  
The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow  
Gave the lustre of mid-day to objects below,  
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,  
But a miniature sleigh, and eight tiny reindeer,  
With a little old driver, so lively and quick,  
I knew in a moment it must be St. Nick.  
More rapid than eagles his coursers they came,  
And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name;  
"Now, Dasher! now, Dancer! now, Prancer and Vixen!  
On, Comet! on Cupid! on, Donder and Blitzen!  
To the top of the porch! to the top of the wall!  
Now dash away! dash away! dash away all!"  
As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,  
When they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky,  
So up to the house-top the coursers they flew,  
With the sleigh full of toys, and St. Nicholas too.  
And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof  
The prancing and pawing of each little hoof.  
As I drew in my hand, and was turning around,  
Down the chimney St. Nicholas came with a bound.  
He was dressed all in fur, from his head to his foot,  
And his clothes were all tarnished with ashes and soot;  
A bundle of toys he had flung on his back,  
And he looked like a peddler just opening his pack.  
His eyes - how they twinkled! His dimples how merry!  
His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry!  
His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,  
And the beard of his chin was as white as the snow;  
The stump of a pipe he held tight in his teeth,  
And the smoke it encircled his head like a wreath;  
He had a broad face and a little round belly,  
That shook, when he laughed like a bowlful of jelly.  
He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf,  
And I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself;  
A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,  
Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread;  
He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,  
And filled all the stockings; then turned with a jerk,  
And laying his finger aside of his nose,  
And giving a nod, up the chimney he rose;  
He sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle,  
And away they all flew like the down of a thistle.  
But I heard him exclaim, ere he drove out of sight,  
"Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good night."

Finishing the story, he closed the book with a snap and looked at the happy faces in front of him. "Well, what now?" he asked.

"Presents!" they shouted. "Where's Santa?"

"Santa? Well, I haven't seen him today but maybe someone else has. Should I go see?" he asked them, smiling broadly at their answer.

He got up and slowly made his way to the back of the room pretending along with his elves and Jamie to look about for Santa, stopping when they heard a hearty, "Ho Ho Ho!" as Santa entered from the side door carrying a bundle over his shoulders, sat in the chair vacated by Nelson and proceeded to hand out presents to the kids one by one as they came up to him.

"How did you get Chip to be Santa, Angie?" Nelson asked with a grin.

"Oh it wasn't me, sir. Becky from the Institute secretarial pool got him to do it."

"Oh. Interesting. Very interesting," Nelson said happily as he watched his executive officer play the part to perfection.

Glancing to the side of the room for a minute, Nelson watched as Lee entered, smiling as he saw the person that trailed behind him, uncertainty on her features. Nudging the man beside him he gestured to the door. Jamie turned his eyes from Harry to the woman standing on the far side of the room and felt him stiffen.

"Go to her, Jamie. Work it out. Take some time off if you want and go away, just the two of you. But don't give up on your marriage because of your job. If you do decide to resign, do it to save your marriage not because of what happened."

"What…how…how did you get her to come?" he asked softly.

"Haven't you heard? What Nelson wants, Nelson gets," he barked in laughter. "I had Lee ask her to come. If she didn't want to be here, she wouldn't have come, Jamie. Talk to her."

Jamie was silent and still for a long time until he slowly made his way to the other side of the room and stood in front of Jessie who looked up at him hesitantly. He watched as he saw Jamie talk to her for a long time, then saw Jessie lower her head before leaning into her husband's arms as he gathered her close.

"Do you think they have a chance, Admiral?" he heard Lee say as he came up beside him.

"There's always a chance, Lee. If they love each other enough, there's hope. If there's one thing we've learned over the past few months, it's to have hope. Haven't we?" he asked as he turned his eyes to Lee's.

"Yes, yes we have," he answered as he looked warmly at Nelson, clasping him gently on the shoulder. "Yes, we have."

The two stood watching as Jamie and Jessie disappeared out the door, knowing their problems wouldn't be solved overnight or by a few simple words on a piece of paper. But it was a season for miracles and anything was possible: a healed life or a healed body. Perhaps, even a healed marriage.

"Well! Let's get some of those cookies I see over there," Nelson said as he rubbed his hands together gleefully. With a smile, he headed off to claim some of the sweets from an unattended tray leaving Lee to stare after him with a big smile on his face as he watched the man he'd almost given up on grab several of the cookies. The past few months were thankfully over and Nelson was well on his way to being Admiral Harriman Nelson again. Every day was one step closer to his reclaiming the life he loved and Lee felt his heart soar at the knowledge Nelson, his friend, mentor, brother, was here, alive and on his way to being fully healed and healthy. Hopelessness and its twin despair had become things of the past as they neared the end of the long road they'd all traversed. But it had ultimately been a road built in hope.

Turning his happy gaze from the children enjoying their presents and treats back to Lee, Nelson saw the look in his friend's eyes and knew the path his thoughts had taken. With a devilish grin, he picked up a sugar covered cookie from the tray by him and held it up, waving it at him with a quirked eye.

Shaking his head in amusement at the man who'd cheated death once more, he smiled and walked to him; taking the offered treat from him as together they watched their friends enjoy the fruits of the holiday, content that all would soon be as it should.

The End


End file.
